Corey’s Story Journey: A New Epiphany
September 30, 2009
Today, in speaking with Annie and Katie on our weekly call to develop my book we dove into some new waters.
My book has started taking on the appearance of a memoir as I change through the process of putting it together. It began as a book very much about the two sides of the brain and combining art and business. But that is such safe territory for me. It’s overly comfortable.
Thankfully, as we are putting this book together, I am also in pretty intense therapy and my aggressive therapist and Annie my aggressive storytelling guide are having an exponential effect on my growth. I’m being challenged in new ways. One of the new ways revolves around growing up.
I’m a 35 year old man who has been trapped in some very old behaviors. The work I have been doing over the last few months really revolves around the process of recognizing those old behaviors, assessing where they came from and then breaking free from them to release myself from old bad habits that are inhibiting my own joy in life.
It feels like a very profound time as I redefine my relationships with my family, with my wife, with my business, with my self. As opposed to being a victim of my past, I am taking control for the first time and the impact has been tremendous. This is the hardest work I have ever done, but I am finally letting go of an imprisoned version of myself and giving birth to a much more powerful me.
How this will affect the book? I’m not sure we know yet. But we have definitely seen and felt that this is a vital piece of my story…more to come.
Annie’s note: I am very excited for Corey’s continued breakthrough into new ground. Corey has had the courage to let the story lead the way, rather than deciding where it should go. This is allowing the real life energy of the true story to come forth. We’re breaking new ground and now with our wonderful third partner Katie, who is our writer, we are developing a great structure for the book. Stay tuned!
![[Post to Twitter]](http://anniehart.com/wp-content/plugins/tweet-this/icons/tt-twitter.png){kind=icon}
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Dating Over Fifty, It’s A Jungle Out There
September 29, 2009
I don’t mean to scare you folks but if you’re single and over fifty - IT’S A JUNGLE OUT THERE!
I’m trying not to be paranoid about it. I’m just trying to be real. Dating is a pretty scary endeavor at this age, let’s face it. Somehow the rules have changed from when I was twenty five and no one let me know about it.
Dating at fifty feels more like buying a used car from one of those tacky car salesmen, than shopping at Tiffany’s. And though I’m not really sure what to do about it, whenever I’m in doubt about anything, I tell stories.
So here is another Raw & Real Story about the realities of dating when you’re over fifty. After reading this, you’ll either be really really happy that you’re already married or you’ll want to join a convent or the priesthood if you’re single.
Just kidding. Keep the hope folks. No matter what we must stay open to love, even if the pickin’s are very slim.
So I was having dinner the other night with my niece Devon, her boyfriend Mitchell and my former brother-in-law Jim. Jim was telling us stories about his adventures in dating or not-dating as the case may be. Jim is filing suit with his doctor for negligence in a medical case and he had to call the office to talk to the receptionist and it seems like somewhere along the way, she developed a big crush on him. 
When he finally met her in person, she happens to weigh over 300 pounds. Now I’m not trying to be a weightist here but that is well outside of the normal range. She also has several children who sound like derelicts and an ex-husband who is a former drug addict? I know it sounds like I’m being very judgemental here but I’m pretty sure you would have been thinking the exact same thing if you’d heard the story. To make matters worse, she texts him every day saying things like “Good morning, I hope you’re having a good day!”
Eeek! I wanted to say, “Run Jim run!” But then I got to thinking about my own experiences with dating and realized that mine haven’t been much better. So who am I to tell him what to do? Besides he can’t really cut off contact with her because he needs her to help him get his medical records. So what is a man to do but just receive those strange text messages and do the best with what life is sending his way? There’s no perfect situation after fifty. If he gets ready to marry her however, I will take a stand. My nieces are at stake at that point.
So what are we to do about this crazy world of dating over fifty? I don’t want to say that the pickins are slim, but they really are. Some might believe that anyone who is left unmarried at this point, has a very good reason for being single.
Part of me believes this and has actual evidence to prove it. But part of me doesn’t want to believe it because my own future is at stake. If I believe that the only cars available at this point are the used ones with damage that’s been painted over, then I’m probably not going very far down the road of life right? And if it really is true, then I might as well just head on over to the nunnery right now.
No I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to give in to fear or cynicism just because all the evidence is pointing in this direction. In fact I’m going to do exactly the opposite and line up some dates for myself right now. So here are my picks for this week. Let me know what you think. Don’t just base your choices on appearance though. Looks are deceiving and both of these men are obviously very charming and dashing. See if you can see deeper than that though. Then go ahead and vote.
Put your votes in now for my date of the week:
Will it be Date #1 the Wholesale Shoe Salesman?
Or Date #2 the Former Mr Italian Universe??
It’s a tough choice isn’t it?
But I’m going to leave the choosing up to you. You tell me who to date and why you picked him and I promise to give you the full story of our date raw and real.
Well let’s review our lessons:
- If you’re married, be grateful
- If you’re single, well….get ready.
I hope you’re enjoying the raw and real stories. This is the way life really is and since somebody ought to tell the truth, it might as well be me.
Yours in story,
Annie
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Featured Video - The Best Dating Advice
September 29, 2009
Now this is the kind of dating advice that I love. Leave it to a Texas football coach to give us the kind of down home advice that we all need. Enjoy!
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
The Power of A Good Story to Communicate Effectively
September 25, 2009
I was sitting in the airport this week waiting to get on a plane to Oklahoma, when the desk attendant made an announcement.
In a loud voice he said, “We have to move five to six people to the back of the airplane right away due to weight requirements. We need people to move or your plane is NOT going anywhere.”
Eeek! I looked around the waiting area and everybody looked frozen in place. I knew that I for one wasn’t moving because I had taken special care to get a seat upfront, but as I looked around, it looked like no one else was moving either. Hmm, wonder why no one would want to move?
It’s not that the seats in the back are that unappealing. So what would make the people in the waiting room completely unwilling to go to the counter to change their seats? But before I tell you the answer to this riddle, I’m going to tell you the second part of the story.
Minutes after the first announcement, another desk attendant got up and made a second one. She had a lovely cheery voice and she said, “Good morning everyone. We have a wonderful opportunity for you to have some more space or more leg room in the back of the plane. If you’d like a window or an aisle seat with no one near you, then come up right now and get a good seat. We have room for five or six people to make the change. Again if you’d enjoy some more space on your flight today, come see me now.”
Immediately a handful of people got up and in minutes the plane was ready to load. Hmm, what was the difference in the communication?
Could it be that the power of a good story communicates way more effectively than a chastising command? You betcha.
The first desk attendant reminded us all of our teachers in grade school, our parents, military officers or someone else stern and commanding. And what do we do when we hear that style of communication? We freeze.
The second attendant used the positive power of a good story to communicate interest and generate motivation. People jumped to attention right away because she spoke to what we all want. We all want more room, more space and more comfort. All great marketers know that you need to speak to the benefits. And she did it in a happy uplifted way. She also made a joke out of it and said, “I know I sound like Monty Hall.” And that made us all laugh.
That is the power of a good story to communicate, motivate and inspire. Her words generated internal images, that when sequenced together, moved us towards something good.
The other communication was a story as well. But it was a story that generated uncomfortable feelings and took most of us back to unhappy memories of out past. This type of communication generates breakdowns in action, not motivation.
So when you speak today, think about how you can generate a positive type of communication that moves people towards the benefits. Think of the extra leg room you can provide to those around you by speaking in story in a way that leads people to move forward.
Today, inspire positive action and effective communication through the power of a good story and then be sure to enjoy the flight!
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
My Story Raw & Real: I’m Doing Great
September 22, 2009
I am doing great. I am whole and intact. I got exactly the kind of loving care that I needed from many different sources and I am doing amazingly well. I have never gotten over anything like this so quickly in my life and this is a wonderful gift to me. I had the realization for me that nothing can do me permanent harm. It’s almost like I have a force-field of love around my life.
I feel very blessed. This painful situation has given me the opportunity to really cherish and appreciate the beautiful people in my life. Remember my friend on the bicycle? Well he called today and asked me how I was doing and I was happy to tell him that I am doing great. I’ve never been able to say that before, so soon after something painful happened. This is a real gift to me.
I am getting ready to go on a trip to Oklahoma to see my family. This is the trip “Mr Former” and I were going to go on together. He was going to meet my family. I could be sad about that, but I’m not. I’m actually very happy. 
I’m happy to see my family and have a fun time in their small Oklahoma town. We are going to the homecoming parade and I get to wear a big fat tacky mum - woo-hoo! I sure hope mine is not nearly as big as the one in the picture! But I don’t care if it is. I’m going to have a great time no matter what. I’m celebrating my new life.
I am alive and intact and a situation that once would have taken me years to get over, has been restored in only a few weeks. I went to see my spiritual director last week and she is going to help me with my book. I also met with my new writing partner and we began our first write together. I’m moving forward and setting my sails in new directions.
And believe it or not I am open to love again. I have to admit that when this happened, I could feel the doors of my heart want to snap shut and rust. But I refused to let that happen. I know that the biggest challenge one can have is to keep your heart open when it hurts the most.
But my heart is open and I am determined to be even more loving, more kind and more caring to the people in my life. I don’t know why this happened or why I had to have yet another painful relationship ending, but I am determined to continue to tell these stories, raw and real. The stories that have shaped my life and shaped my heart.
Yours in story,
Annie
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Video: The Untold Stories, Raw & Real
September 21, 2009
It’s never easy to tell the real stories of your life, raw and real, but that’s what I’m up to. I’m working on a genre of stories called, “The Untold Stories”. My hope is that they open a place in the world for all of us to tell the truth and share our deepest stories.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Featured Video: Storytelling Theater
September 20, 2009
One of the ways in which we can use story to faciliate change is to complete our old stories. Ron Olsen (not sure who the heck he is) suggested that when we can complete these old stories, that we have been dragging around, then we can move onto more of our mission and our creative life. Sounds good to me!
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Featured Story: Why Baby Boomers Fear Technology
September 17, 2009
Today I got a Facebook message from an old friend who wanted to tune into my Radio Show but didn’t know how to get there. She said “Annie, I’m sorry to be such a lousy techno baby boomer.” This reminded me that folks of our generation are really intimidated by technology.
For a long time I never understood why, I just thought it was my own personal failure. But then I took a Blogging Course, by Bea Fields which taught me about blogging and social media and advanced me more than ten years into the future.
The irony is that after I learned all of this new-fangled stuff, I started talking to other folks of my generation and they looked at me like, “What???” They couldn’t believe I was using Facebook, Twitter, doing a radio show and blogging regularly. Many of my friends and colleagues were still back in the dark ages, where I had been only a few months ago.
That was when I realized that it wasn’t just me who had a terror of technology, it’s all of our generation and here for the very first time is the REAL STORY of Why Baby Boomers Fear Technology.
It has to do with the fact that us Ole’ folk are simple. I don’t mean that we are simple minded, we’re not. We do have the capacity to think complex thoughts. But it’s kind of like this - when we sit down at a typewriter we say, “Ahh.” We feel comfortable because it’s the known world. It’s simple. You tap a few keys and your message comes out.
But when we sit down at a computer we feel “Arrghhh.” You tap a few keys and your message may or may not come out. It all depends on a complex series of factors which we don’t understand. Tap a few keys and all sorts of strange things happen. Then some idiot comes along and says “Hey why don’t you use Facebook or Twitter?” and you just want to go hide in a cave somewhere. Some days it all feels like too much. We wonder, can’t we just go back to the simple life that we were used to?
Remember those days when your phone didn’t have an answering machine? Ahh, the good ole’ days. The days when you did NOT have a cell phone, no pager, no computer, no email, no fax machine. Geez, where have those good days gone? Now we are required to keep up with the Y Generation who honest to goodness have computer chips built into their brains. I swear to God they do, I’m not making this up!
These young chickadees literally have computers glued to their hands. That is how they were born. It’s not only easy for them to navigate technology, it’s impossible for them not to. They don’t know how to cross the street without a GPS system and God forbid they should lose their cell phone. That’s the equivalent of a lobotomy for our generation. The honest story is that they were born with a chip in their brains that makes life appear as one gigantic computer. Everything is easy for them.
So don’t feel bad Ole’ folk. We’re doing pretty good for our generation. In fact if you’re even reading this blog post then you’re not just doing good, you’re doing GREAT! Give yourself credit today for all of the techno-savvy stuff that you have embraced. You have a phone right? And you were able to make your way onto the internet correct?
Ok, that’s enough for now. It’s probably time for you to rest. This techno stuff is tiring. It’s time for our afternoon nap.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
My Story Raw & Real: A Spontaneous Healing
September 16, 2009
Today I had a healing insight that turned a corner for me.
Many years ago, I conferred a judgement upon myself that I was not smart in the area of relationship choices.
Because I’d had so many relationships that ended poorly, I decided that it must be my fault. Now when I say decided, I don’t mean that I sat down and said to myself, “Hey Annie, let’s make this your fault.” Judgements occur on an unconscious level, often out of our awareness.
I however have known for awhile that I had this judgement upon myself, but I haven’t really had a way to remove it. The irony is that if I had someone like me who does the work that I do, I could easily remove it. This is the work that I do with others.
Today, while I was doing some hypnosis with a client for her relationship issues, I suddenly heard myself say in my head, “I need a me.” What I meant by that was that if I could do for myself what I was doing for her, then I would be freed of this nagging self-judgement.
So I just said to myself, well why don’t I just let my own unconscious mind absorb all the healing that I’m sharing with her. So while my words were going towards her, I let myself get into a state of mind, so that they could soak into me as well.
I’ve never done this before, nor was this a technique that I was ever taught in any of my training. It’s just something that occurred to me spontaneously in the moment. I just imagined these words going into my own memory banks.
I had no idea what happened, nor did I even think something would. But about an hour later I was in my closet changing into my yoga clothes when I had a spontaneous thought that had never occurred to me before. I asked myself this question, “If you had known at the beginning of the relationship what you knew at the end, would you have chosen that person?” The answer was a clear no.
Then I asked myself, “Well then how can you blame yourself for what you didn’t know?” And that’s when it came to me clear as a bell, that I couldn’t know what I knew I knew it! Get it? :>)
I instantly felt a peace come over me body and knew that something had released. 
Wow, I had no idea that my creative little idea could produce such healing. But I’m sure it has. I’m hopeful that this will allow me now to move on to greener pastures. I feel ready for that.
It’s been a wonderful week of sharing my stories with you. And very soon I’m going to have a new blog just dedicated to the raw and real side of life.
If you’re enjoying these stories, or any others from my blog, feel free to sign up for my email updates. Click here for more information on how to do that. May some spontaneous healing come your way today.
Yours in story,
Annie
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Video of the Week: Climb Every Mountain
September 16, 2009
Ah, this beautiful song always makes me teary. Reminds me to keep on trudging even when the mountain gets steep. Let this beautiful song inspire you today.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
-
Connect With Annie Hart
.png)
.png)