My Story Raw & Real – We Can’t Avoid Life
September 11, 2009
So here’s the lesson coming in loud and clear – We can’t avoid life!
It’s easy to hide, it’s easy to stay in our shell and it’s easy to make other people the source of our problems, but they are not. I’m saying this because part of my old shell has just been cracked open and it was really painful.
It always is, but that doesn’t mean anything is wrong. That is the part that is hardest to understand about these moments.
People have asked me a few times, “Did you see it coming?” It meaning the end of my relationship. That’s an interesting question. Hmm, did I see IT coming? Possibly. But how do you really know what is coming? That’s the hard part.
The hard part was that I was actually trying to avoid this exact pain. I was trying to avoid the pain of getting connected to someone again and then have them leave. I was trying to avoid that because I’ve experienced it many times before and I have some idea that I shouldn’t experience it again.
Note that I say ‘idea’ that I shouldn’t experience it. This means that we really don’t understand life at all. How do I know what I’m meant to experience? I don’t. So did I see it coming? Yes I’ve always seen it coming. But the real question is – Was I meant to avoid it? Was I meant to step out of the way? Or is this exactly what life was meant to bring me? Exactly this and nothing different.
I was cracked open and now what do you see? You see an open egg. That’s exactly the point. Life wanted to open me, but because we are wired to avoid pain, we don’t open easily or willingly, so life needs to crack us open.
Mother nature herself is creator and destroyer. But here’s the beauty – I am alive. And now what you see inside of me is raw and real, just like the soft inside of the egg. I am alive and doing really well. I wouldn’t change a thing about what happened. I needed to learn something and experience something. My prayer every day is that I learn whatever it is and then I take it out to help others.
I have dedicated an entire week to writing these stories raw and real. I hope you’ll stay with me on the journey and I hope that they touch and inspire you. Please feel free to comment on the blog.
Yours in story,
Annie
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Annie,
I love that you are kind enough to share your story. Going into those places and actually showing them to all of us takes such courage and generosity. And calling your friend, while it can seem like taking is actually giving. He was given the opportunity to reciprocate in kind for the tenderness you’ve shown him during his dark moments.
You are a brave and kind soul.
We’re out here with you!
Annie-
This is “exactly” what life was meant to bring you.. (There are no mistakes Annie..)
Keep pressing forward…..
Best,
Brian-