Cut the Crap & Dare To Be Yourself
October 29, 2009
Schmaltz: Yiddish, shmalts - literally, rendered fat
In my humble but large opinion there is too much schmaltziness in this world and not enough realness. So many people are trying too hard to be experts and guru’s. They are trying to stand out in the crowd and be known, but that is exactly what will make you obsolete very quickly.
Schmaltizness is not what we need now. We live in a world in which time is is speeding up. What we need is not to follow the crowd and do what we’ve always done, but to stand out in the crowd and dare to do doing something different.
Let this begin with you. Dare to take off the mask that you wear because you fear won’t like you if you are yourself. The truth is that many people won’t like you no matter what you do. So give that up as your goal and work instead to be genuine.
Try this in your conversations, your blog posts, even your marketing materials. Yes I’m suggesting that you cut the crap and dare to be real.
Honestly, it’s not easy. The brain and nervous system are wired with a deeply ingrained circuitry that being different will get us killed. The archaic part of the brain perceives difference as a life or death matter. It’s part of the ancient law of the tribe. So to live a full, real life, you have to override that ancient impulse and go in the direction of real life. That is where all the meaning and the juice are anyway.
Be aware that when you begin to do this you may feel scared. You will feel scared in the beginning, scared all the way through and maybe even afterwards. But this is normal. Think of the experience of a roller coaster ride. Personally I feel fear the entire way through. But that doesn’t have to stop you. You’ve got to BE FIERCE to cut through the crap. It doesn’t come easily.
But consider the benefits of really truly, genuinely being yourself. Here are a few of mine, please let me know about yours:
Benefits of Daring To Cut The Crap and Be Yourself:
- You make genuine honest connections with people.
- People come to love you for who you are.
- Those that don’t will naturally drift away and that is good.
- You will be happier and sleep more easily because genuineness is good for your peace of mind.
Today I had an inspiring conversation with my fellow Trainer and Coach, Eva Reiff of Nurnberg, Germany. Eva and I have coached each other every week for over eight years, amazing!
We support and encourage each other to continue to live big and dare to do things that seem scary, uncomfortable or even impossible. And together we have gone much further than we ever imagined.
After our talk today Eva sent me this beautiful note:
I am so amazed at how you have decided to cut through the crap and just be raw and real in the world. I admire your courage to lead the way and to follow what you sense the world needs. You care about real connections, and you use that as a filter to everything. You are ahead of your time. 
Today be fierce in your intent to be honest, real, vulnerable, scared, on-the-edge. Dare to be yourself and live out of the box. You will be glad you did. And besides, you have nothing to lost but your schmaltz, which I’m pretty sure you’d like to give up anyway!
Let this be your motto:
I am willing to cut the crap and dare to be myself!
Let me know how it goes.
Oh and by the way, I dare to tell stories raw and real because I’m pretty sure that’s what the world needs.
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5 Responses to “Cut the Crap & Dare To Be Yourself”
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Agree!
Something I’m working hard on everyday.
To include the softer side of storytelling into the squares of management.
@Annieshart- Best post so far…. this one got to me… BIG TIME!
I agree with you! Being real is awesome, and these days it PAYS well too! (Too many Schmaltizness’s!)
I trust you will have a WONDERFUL day and WEEKEND!
EnJOY!
Brian-
Annie I love your thinking!
I was recently on a course where I met a wonderful woman. She stood out from the crowd of us trainers, with all our knowledge and techniques of the “right way to communicate with people ” , because she just said it how it was – no smazltz!
A few people found this womans style of communication uncomfortable – I loved it . Because I knew what she said was completly truthful. She was also very comfortable with herself in doing this.
And heres the thing – she was speaking and reacting from a place of good intent – not to hurt or be nasty to people – but to give a direct straight forward and honest opinion or to question what they had said . How often do we get such a gift.
I was also once taught , that in order to be a great trainer you must completely sacrifice yourself for your group. That the sacrifice you make was your pride or fear of not being liked , feeling silly, being contraversial , by saying the things that may be uncomfortable for someone to hear – but will , by hearing them make all the difference to their learning.
If you are coming from a place of love , then your words will always be the right ones
P x
Very thought-provoking — thanks for the contribution. You’re so right that the fear of being “different” is hard-wired into us as humans — and the labels we attach to people who dare to stand out from the crowd often denote something at least a little negative (e.g., eccentric, oddball, weird, colorful, even unconventional & nonconformist). And yet, how many great things have been accomplished by such people (Thoreau, Gandhi, Einstein, Edison, Curie, and so many more)? Let’s hear it for marching to the beat of a different drummer, being colorful, standing out!
Beth Weisberg
I agree! I feel this is the shortest way to live the way you want it. If you speak your mind, you will live king size. I consider it a great strength. You will waste time with not appropriate set of people. I get lot of feedback that I am blunt. But I feel that it serves me. On a positive side, people feel that I have high integrity.
Ayesha