What the Mystics Say About Love, for Women
November 30, 2009
Have you ever felt down and out in the realm of love? I know I have. Either you have a partner and it’s just not always up to par. He doesn’t put the toilet seat down, he forgets to buy you flowers, he means well but you just don’t feel as appreciated or as you could.
Or you don’t have a partner at all and you’re wondering if you’re going to dry up and shrivel like a raisin or if you will ever find the love of your life. Sound familiar?
It seems either way we go in the realm of love and relationship, we just don’t feel satisfied. Why is that? Well the mystics say that the feminine essence is about the radiance of love itself. Boy that sounds nice doesn’t it! Why then don’t we feel like love’s radiance most of the time but instead feel like wrung out dishrags or under appreciated figurines that have been left on the shelf for too long? Ah, this is where it is up to us to create the circuitry that we need in order to feel whole.
Most of the time we are conditioned to think about what we’re getting. Where’s my flowers? Where’s my jewelry? Where are my hugs, my love, my everything? Where, where, where? It’s all about me. Now I know that as soon as I say this you are replying, “No all I do is give, give, give.” That may be true.
Many women give as a form of trying to get. I can hear you gasping in horror right now. I know we don’t believe that we are giving to get anything. We like to think it’s unconditional but just watch what happens if you cook an outstanding dinner for someone and no one comments on it. Try wearing a brand new outfit and see what happens if no one notices. You will notice just how quickly the feminine radiance has come to depend on external sources of feedback for her well being.
We plummet instantly right? You just got a new hair cut and how dare he not notice. You made an amazing dinner and he acted like it was a TV dinner. Underneath of our giving, we are often subtly trying (desperately) to receive love. Eek! That blows the cover right off of my nice idea of myself as such a generous, loving person.
I am generous and loving and I know you are too, but just see what could happen in terms of your personal fulfillment if you really sniff underneath most of your giving and realize - darn it all, I am trying to get something!
At first it feels awful to see this and admit it but after awhile it’s actually liberating. Liberating because we don’t have to be reliant on outside sources of love. We can truly give for the pleasure of sharing.
The mystics say that to find personal fulfillment we need to remove the dark outer shell that surrounds the seed of light. That dark outer shell for us women is our endless, incessant need for someone or something to fill and fulfill us. We are an empty vessel expecting others to fill us. This sets us up for nearly constant disappointment.
So today, think about how you can fill the vessel in other way, breathe into your own heart and feel it warm up. Then go out and share and notice if over time you can find more fulfillment and less disappointment. In being the Light of Love that we were meant to be, true fulfillment awaits.
Excuse me I gotta go do the dishes now! I know I know, it’s not glamorous, but maybe just maybe, some light is waiting for me right there in the sink! It’s everywhere. We just need to look.
![[Post to Twitter]](http://anniehart.com/wp-content/plugins/tweet-this/icons/tt-twitter.png){kind=icon}
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Corey’s Story Journey: Fierceness
November 30, 2009
My big take away from today was an attribute that I have recently labeled about myself as impatience, but that my story guide Annie Hart redirected this morning as fierceness.
As my business is growing and our authors and company are gaining more popularity, more and more people are contacting me to help them with their branding.
That has created a serious bottleneck for me, because it often translates into hours each week of free consultation, where I’m having to describe the reality of what it takes to make a brand successful to people who have rose colored glasses on about the process. Constantly being pulled away to have those conversations frustrates me, because I have so much work to do not only for our clients, but for our employees.
The lack of patience increases when I’m on the phone with someone who is looking at this industry from the idealistic perspective of a child. Hollywood has trained most people to believe that if you have a great idea, it’s worth a fortune.
I used to sit in on workshops where agents and managers and producers would tell writers to never pay anyone to help them with their careers. “Hollywood should be paying you.” But Hollywood opens its doors to only .00001% of those people. So what does everyone else do? In the eyes of those producers, agents and managers, they should spend their time trying to be part of that .00001%. THAT’S ABSURD!
Everyone has a story worth telling. Everyone has many stories worth telling. I am cursed with that knowledge. I am cursed with knowing that our storytelling process is life changing for the people who tell their stories. And yet, I have to decide who we’re going to work with. I have to turn people away from that opportunity if they come to me with those rose colored glasses on.
I felt bad about being impatient. But I feel good about being fierce. This world needs change and change does not happen until we choose to see the world for what it is. When we take off those rose glasses, we leave the realm of the idealistic child and we begin to play in the arena of the powerful adult who can impact others. So forgive me if I come across as impatient…what I’m really doing is pushing to find the bravest of people who will go to battle for their cause.
Annie’s note: This is a wonderful grounded perspective on business. It’s difficult to be caring for everyone’s story but realistic about what it will take at the same time. Corey is blazing a trail of fierce commitment to the genuine product.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
A Barking Good Time, My Italian Thanksgiving
November 25, 2009
Twenty years ago I was married and living in Italy and as Thanksgiving approached I was feeling a little bit homesick. While my husband knew about Thanksgiving because of me, most Italians don’t know that much about it and they definitely don’t eat turkey or pumpkin pie.
So rather than feeling sorry for myself, I decided to create a little Italian thanksgiving of my own.
The Italians call it “Il Giorno di ringraziamento” which means the day of thanks. It’s not easy to find a whole turkey in Italy, maybe I could have gone out and shot one, but that wasn’t my idea of a good meal, so what I did instead was bake a giant squash which I turned on it’s side, pasted paper wings on it, add a head with a long turkey neck and voila’, I had my thanksgiving ‘bird’.
I have to admit that it did look pretty funny but that didn’t matter. Just seeing the funny looking turkey made out of a giant squash, got me out of my bad mood. Now for how to make apumpkin pie. Hmmm….
Italians don’t eat pumpkins. They have something like it which is also a giant squash but when I called my mother for the recipe I realized that there was a bigger problem. Where the heck do you find condensed milk in a small Italian town?
I tried to explain to my husband what it was, but given that I don’t even know what condensed milk is, I wasn’t so successful at explaining it to him. Is it just milk with less water? I don’t think so. But what else is in it? I wasn’t sure.
Well conveniently at the time, my husband and I had adopted two little puppies that he had found in the street and we were feeding them puppy formula which was a kind of a milk.
Hmmm, I thought - it’s a small can and a liquid like milk. Maybe this would suffice for my condensed milk?
I decided that if it was fit for puppies it would work for my pumpkin pie and besides no one in Italy knew the actual recipe for pumpkin pie so they wouldn’t be staring over my shoulder telling me I was putting in the wrong ingredients. But just the same, I waited until I was alone in my kitchen and then I substituted puppy formula for condensed milk! I popped the pie into the oven and came back an hour later.
Looked like pumpkin pie, smelled like pumpkin pie. So far so good.
Again no one knew what it was supposed to taste like so I figured if it was horrible, no one would blame me. I invited my in-laws over for dinner and they were delighted to learn about our holiday tradition.
When it came time for dessert, I brought out the pie. They were intrigued. Italians pastries look very different from our pies. I tried to explain what it was made of, the call pumpkin “zucca” and so I told them it was a zuccone (big zucca). They seemed curious.
They ate a bite or two. They seemed to like it. My father in-law even took a second piece. I was waiting to hear a few barking or growling noises but everything was quiet.
Then my husband had to go and blow everything by saying, “Hey didn’t you tell me that you couldn’t find one of the ingredients for the pie….some kind of milk…how did you ever figure that out?” Ooops, busted!
“Ummm”, I said, stalling for time so that my father in law could finish his second piece before I admitted the truth. “I substituted the puppy formula for it.”
YOU WHAT????
Dead silence while everyone stopped eating and looked at me. Then they all looked at the pie. Fortunately my father in law had a sense of humor. He didn’t miss a beat. He just picked up his fork and kept eating as if nothing had happened. That broke the ice and everyone kept eating.
It turned out to be one of the best thanksgiving’s ever. It was different for sure but by being creative, it turned out to remain as one of my favorite. In fact I’d have to say that we had a real barking good time!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Stories of Outstanding People: Pastor Tim
November 23, 2009
I have a good friend whom I met many years ago at Starbucks. I would pass him on the way to the ladies room and I was always curious about what he was doing. He was writing in a bible with these multi-colored highlighter pens and I thought to myself, “What a cool guy. He must be a priest.”
So I stopped to talk to him. I love interesting people and I had never before heard of a clergy person using multi-colored highlighter pens on their bible. Maybe it’s a trend but I just don’t know about, but at any rate it was enough to get me to meet the fascinating and hilarious Pastor Tim.
Tim started right in telling me some stories and boy were they funny. I was laughing so hard right there in Starbucks that I thought I was going to split my side. When I met him, he had only been at his parish for a year or two he was at the beginnings of his difficult work.
Tim works in a small Lutheran church in the heart of a very difficult neighborhood in Philly. I could tell that Tim was totally dedicated to what he’s doing and yet I could also see that he was really struggling. Tim didn’t just have one problem or even two, he had multiple ones, often occurring at the same time!
One week Tim had a series of disastrous incidents one right after another - the copier broke, the heating went out and a few other things showed up. Tim had solved them one by one but when the last one showed up, he was at his wits end. Things seemed totally insurmountable.
Not knowing what else to do, Tim got down on his knees and begged for help from above. After he was finished, he got up from his prayer and took a break by retreating to the men’s room. What could go wrong there right?
Tim took his time in the ‘bathroom sanctuary’ not wanting to rush his few short moments of peace and quiet. On his way out he decided to leave it in a better state than he’d found it, so he grabbed a can of deodorizer and gave it a nice refreshing spray around the room. Nice gesture right?.
But instead of coming out like aerosol mist, the deodorizer which had obviously been around far too long, sprayed all over the walls just like gummy string cheese!
Tim took one took at the wall and knew instantly what to do. He laughed out loud and promptly walked out, leaving behind a wonderful new art piece for the parish bathroom!
Whenever I see Tim he always makes me laugh. Even though I know that it is not easy keeping his tiny parish afloat, Tim always has a funny story to tell. I keep telling him he needs to write up his stories. But since he’s so busy, I thought I’d tell one for him. He has plenty more.
And if you’re ever in Starbucks in Philly and see a guy with a colored up bible, stop and say hi, it just might be Pastor Tim - the pastor with the big heart and the amazing sense of humor.
Today use the power of humor in your own life to create a new story even in the midst of the greatest challenges.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Featured Video: Ira Glass on Storytelling
November 22, 2009
An icon in the world of broadcasting, Ira Glass of “This American Life” is talking about the building blocks of a great story.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
The Top 10 Status Updates That Will Make My Sister Delete You From Facebook
November 20, 2009
My older sister is hilarious and tells it like it is. She has these funny rants about life that make me pee myself. The other day she was on a rant about deleting people on Facebook and it caused quite a stir. People were messaging her and saying, “You’re not going to delete me are you?”
I even got worried myself! I thought - what if my own sister decides to axe me and I don’t know about it? So I told her that she needs some criteria so we can all know if we’re on the butcher block or not. Her top ten reasons made me laugh so hard that I had to run to the little room!
you may be next!
#1 “My wonderful,sweet hubby just bought me flowers,jewelry and is taking me to dinner out at our favorite cozy,romantic bistro.”
Try being married longer than 2 months and then lets see what you post..”My husband put the toilet seat down (after I pulled my pistol on him)”! The competitive side in me wants to post my status right after hers with something like “My successful PHYSICIAN husband,just bought me a diamond bracelet,a new Mercedes,and is flying me to Paris for dinner.” So there you idiot. DELETE!
#2 “The baby kicked.”
Who cares! Why not tell us when you have your next bowel movement too. DELETE!
#3 “What did I ever do before my adorable grandchildren came into this world?”
These are always accompanied with endless photos of Patsy and Junior doing every darn adorable little thing from taking a freakin bath to picking their adorable little noses. Let’s start seeing posts about those adorable tots when they grow up-accompanied by photos such as “Spike on his way to rehab (finally)!” “Sissy graduating from beauty college!” DELETE!
#4 “Another lazy day laying on the white sands of Aruba on our 5th family vacation this year.”
How about a post such as “The family just piled into the car for a trip to I HOP,our 5th time this week!” DELETE!
#5 “Being thankful to The Lord Jesus Christ,our Savior, who died for our sins and brought eternal salvation.”
Sheesh.Where’s the humor in that? People who only bring on doom and gloom have no place in my friend list. DELETE!
#6 “Why??”
Huh?Why what? What are you saying? Why do you post this,so we all have to wonder till someone asks,and then you say to them that you will send them a PRIVATE message to explain? Leave me hanging like that. DELETE!
#7 “Lunch”
This isn’t Twitter,pal! Why don’t you start clogging up my FB with more updates since I have nothing better to do than read what you do every 15 minutes. DELETE!
#8 “My grandfather just had his yellowed,in -grown toenail removed ,but is now having issues with a recurring fungus.”
And you are giving us this detailed, revolting info so we can vomit while reading? DELETE!
#9 I just baked a glazed nut -encrusted torte,cleaned my large home,and my elderly neighbor’s too,finished pruning my prize winning roses,and am off to chair my charity group meeting.”
Forgot to mention to us that you also snuck in some time to POST all this on FB so we can feel like the lazy,computer dwelling slobs we are ? DELETE!
#10 “Tanning and working out! Love it!”
Why not tell us that all you really do is work on yourself, have no other thoughts in your head and then post about it? Love it! DELETE!
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Let The Change Be YOU: Every Litter Bit Helps
November 19, 2009
“From a spiritual point of view, a leader is only a reflection of the consciousness of the people. Therefore, that leader will only be as strong and powerful as the people he serves. Bad leaders are meant to rouse us to take action. When we see something we don’t like in our leadership, it is to show us what is what we need to recognize and transform within ourselves.” Yehuda Berg, The Power to Change Everything
We are on the verge of a revolution. Not the militaristic kind but it is definitely time for a change. It is time to stand up and speak out. We need to stop complaining, stop moaning and get into positive action. No one is going to do it for us. It is up to us to lead the way.
There used to be a category of people called Leaders. Linguistically speaking, if there is a leader there must be a follower. But today we don’t have time to waste following others. Each of us in our own way need to be leading our own personal revolution.
What needs to change in you, your world, your household, your body or your neighborhood? If it needs to be done then guess who’s the one to do it? That’s right it’s YOU.
How many times do you go out the door, see some trash and walk on by? But then you come home, see that your neighbor dropped his cigarette butt on the sidewalk in front of your house and you get pissed.
I know I do because that’s exactly what my neighbor does and it really makes me mad. But I also noticed that I could feel very justified for being mad at him and blame him for the trash on my street. But the truth is, it’s up to me to change that, not him. This is what I mean by a personal revolution. I am choosing to be the change that I want to see.
So instead of knocking on his door and asking him to pick the butt up, I went inside, got my little baggie and picked it up myself. But then I realized that I couldn’t stop there. I went across the street and picked up a few more and now every time I’m out for a walk with Miss Sweetie, I pick up as many as I can. It’s up to me.
The only way to create a universal revolution is to create a personal one. And that’s not easy. It is not fun. It’s not fame producing. It doesn’t earn you any bread and butter. The only thing it does for you is to let you know deep inside that you are doing what it takes to create a better world. That’s it. That’s all you get out of it. If that’s not enough then this world is not going to change.
In picking up my neighbors cigarette butts I am not going to win an award or get written up in the paper. In fact no one really cares. But on a more universal level, if I can do those things that need to be done, without try to get a personal reward then I can sleep well at night. In other words, be at peace in my soul.
The gift is that my neighbors nasty cigarette butt made me realize that I need to go beyond the scope of my own personal pitiful annoyances and make the difference that I can, right here on my own street.
What about you? Where do you need to lead the way to your own personal revolution? What are you complaining about that you are leaving up to someone else to change? Think about it. It’s not pretty. If you truly find the honest nugget of what you need to change, you will get a kind of queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Like, “Ugh I know I need to be doing that but I don’t really want to.” That’s the one to go for.
I don’t honestly enjoy picking up cigarette butts, especially from my unconscious neighbor who could so easily put them in the trash! I annoys me and I’d rather be doing something else with my time, but I have to get beyond that annoyance and think about my other neighbors, the neighborhood and the world. Would our world be better if I picked it up rather than just complained? The answer is yes - Every litter bit helps!
Remember that saying? It’s true. Every tiny action, every tiny thought, every miniscule change that you personally make will be imprinted on the universe forever. And I’m not just getting meta-physical with you, it is scientifically true. Although the mystics have always been far ahead of the scientists in this regard, they are now catching up. Even science says that this is a good idea.
Change in one part affects change in all the others.
So today let the change be YOU. Don’t wait for President Obama or your neighbor or your neighborhood, today be the leader that you wish was leading our world.
Stop complaining and start acting. Well I gotta go. If I’m going to walk my talk I better get outside right now with my little baggie and start my morning pick up! Let me know how you are leading the way for a better world, starting now.
Yours in stories that change the world,
Annie
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Corey’s Story Journey: The Weight of Story
November 18, 2009
Annie’s Note: Corey just got back from a trip where he spent intensive time capturing a client’s story and we felt it important to Corey’s own creative process and story to tell it. So here is the story fresh and real from Corey’s own heart.
Corey: This morning on my call with Katie and Annie I spoke mostly about my recent trip with Daniel Cardwell and our work together on “A Question of Color”. I told them about my first trip to the grocery store with Dan to stock up our cabin in preparation for our five days together and how unusual it was to go shopping with someone for the first time.
The experience opened my eyes to how stories are often told between the lines. Imagine how much I learned about Dan when he reached for a dozen tins of sardines, four boxes of Nutrigrain bars, two cans of beans and three onions.
As we worked, which we did for an average of 18 hours each day, Dan would cook so I could keep my fingers working on the computer keys and it was through his cooking that I learned more about his life, about his journey.
He was a farmer and a survivor who had lived on his own on a farm from the age of 14. He knew how to throw whatever we had in the fridge together in such a way that it was tasty, nourished us, and kept our minds focused as we toured his life.
I also learned about myself this trip. About my creative process. Working 18 hours a day was difficult for me. At home I flip flop between projects every few minutes, but here I had to remain intensely focused for long stretches, both in listening to Dan’s stories and in then capturing them on the page.
Listening for long stretches taxed me emotionally; I knew that only 10% of what I was hearing was going to end up in the book, and yet I had to sift through the other 90% to find those gems. My mind clouded over numerous times and yet as soon as we came across a nugget, I would find myself invigorated, inspired and attentive again.
Because Dan’s book focuses on his search for his mother that spanned more than 25 years, in many ways we were putting together a detective story. That was his role as he traveled around the world, searching for his origins, accumulating about 24 inches worth of documents that we had to pull the greatest pieces from. Dan’s story and his struggle for survival in a world that wanted to throw him away was heartbreaking.
At the end of our trip, as we said our goodbyes at the airport, we had a “dude” moment as Annie called it on the phone this morning. We had shared this intimate journey of Dan’s life and his love for his mother and when we shook hands, we knew we had been through a special experience together.
The moment turned a bit awkward as we tried to navigate letting go of the week we had spent together. Part of me wanted to hug Dan and cry with him – to release all the pain of his story, but we settled on a fist-bump and a nod.
When I walked into the airport I became overwhelmed with emotion as it all finally hit me. His story is both beautiful and tragic, and he walks away the hero having overcome adversity beyond measure. He had the strength to not only search for 25 years but to then share that story (the good the bad and the ugly) for the sake of others. That’s a hero.
In the days since we have parted, I have dreamed of Dan and his book every night. In those dreams I always wake up started, feeling like I was searching and so close to something. That tells me we’re on the right track here and I’m excited to bring this story to the world.
Annie: Beautiful, touching, inspiring!
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
“Cut The Crap” Goes Live on the Radio
November 18, 2009
Today I had a wonderful virtual coffee with my new friend and colleague Thomas Magnum on his Virtual Coffee radio show. Boy was that fun!
Thomas is an inspiring and educated speaker and trainer who has a real knack for putting people at ease and creating connections. He was fascinated by the many levels of depth that storytelling provides for creating impact in your life, your message and business.
We had a great virtual coffee together, Thomas in sunny California and me in Philly-delphia. We both relate in the area of knowing that relationships are a most important factor in all transactions of life.
If you’d like to enjoy the show as I did, listen below and I hope you will get to know Thomas. He has certainly has a lot to share.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
If You Need To Kick Some A_s, You Need the Right Shoes
November 15, 2009
Here’s the deal that no one ever told you, well no one ever told me anyway - if you need to kick some ass in this world, you need the right shoes.
Years ago I was doing some consulting work for a small family trucking business. Boy that was tough! It was a predominantly male environment and as you can imagine, my more female style of doing business didn’t really fit in. I a fish out of water! But I am feisty, fiery and oh did I mention hard headed? So I persisted.
One day I was running a meeting for the major players in the business which consisted of about eight men and two women. We were having a meeting, which I was supposedly leading, when all of a sudden a shouting match erupted between the CEO and his head salesman.
Like two bull walruses, they stood up and started tusking each other full force with their words. They were shouting and screaming and I thought, “Oh my god, what am I supposed to do about this?” I had never encountered this before in my work.
One thing you should know behind the scenes is that before this fight had broken out, I had taken off my shoes under the table. I am 4 ft, 11 inches small and in order to look more like an adult than a child when I sit in a chair, I usually take off my shoes and sit with my feet up. Most of the time no one knows about this. It’s my own personal secret to success. But this day being shoeless was not to my advantage.
When the fight broke out I was furious. I thought to myself, “How dare these two idiots interrupt my meeting!” Who do they think they are? One of them was the owner of the company, but I didn’t care. I was pissed.
Before my logical brain could give me advice, I jumped up and screamed at the top of my lungs, “Shuuuutt Up!” There was dead silence in the room and then everyone turned to look at me. The CEO and the salesman stopped fighting for a minute, then the meeting went on. But less than five minutes later, the fighting broke out again.
Now I was beyond fury, I was in the kick-butt zone. I jumped up out of my seat and ran towards the two fighting men. I put my tiny frame body right in front of Mr. CEO and faced off with Mr. Salesman and shouted at the top of my lungs, “If you don’t stop fighting right now, I’m leaving.”
The only problem was that if I left, I would be walking out without my shoes. I had left them under the table! Thank god they stopped fighting and I was able to go back to my seat and continue the meeting. Later someone in the group that had noticed that I was shoeless said to me, “Were you really going to leave without your shoes?” Yes I was gonna walk out, but boy would my feet have been cold!
So here’s the learning particularly for women - If you’re out there working in the world and times get tough….when you know you need to cut the crap and kick some you know what….then you really need to have the right shoes.
Later several of the men sidled up to me on their own and said, “Wow, you’re tough.” I knew that was my sign that as a small but feisty woman, I had proved my metal. But next time I need to break up a fight, I’m going to be prepared. I’m going to wear a nice spike heel, just in case. If you need to kick some “you-know-what” in this world, you definitely need the right pair of shoes!
Let me know what you think about these. :>)
I’m Annie Hart and I tell stories that change the world and I tell them raw and real because that’s not only what the world needs, but what the world is ready to hear.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
-
Connect With Annie Hart
.png)
.png)