Dare to Stand Out in the Crowd
November 5, 2009
dare to stand out
As a wise sage (me) once said,
“If You Want to Be the Best, You’ve Got to Stand Out From the Rest.”
Let me ask you this – do you want to be liked or do you want to make a difference in the world? Do you want to be one of the crowd or do you want to stand out and be exceptional? Guess what? You can’t do both.
Nope. To stand out from the crowd you have to risk, dare to be unique, be vulnerable and feel alone at times. But what’s the alternative? To be bland, boring, average, mediocre, middle of the road and like all the rest? Again as that wise sage says, “If you want to be the best, you have to stand out from the rest!”
So if that’s what we want, why don’t we dare to stand out? To answer that I’ll have to tell you a little story about Mr. Lizard. Mr. Lizard loves lounging in the sun, sleeping, eating and chasing flies, but that’s about it. He’s not seeking to do big things in the world, change the status quo or be different than any of the other lizards right. No, he’s seeking to be the same and do the same. Same old, same old.
If I go up and grab Mr. Lizard by the tail, hang him over a cliff and ask him if he’d like to learn to fly – his wriggling, quivering body will shout NO with every ounce of his being!
Mr. Lizard does not want to learn to fly, ever. He likes to lounge. Only a fool would drop Mr. Lizard off that cliff and imagine that he will fly. He won’t. Mr. Lizard cannot fly because he does not have any wings and I don’t think he’s going to sprout them any time soon.
So that is our lizard brain. Stuck in it’s ways, likes to stay the same, fears change, is scared of flying and oh did I mention that it does not want us to stand out in the crowd? To a lizard being different means sure death. “Do not be different. Be the same.” That is the message of our lizard brain. Don’t be mad at Mr. Lizard. He evolved a long time ago.
In short Mr. Lizard illustrates why we don’t dare to stand out in the crowd and be different. We want to take risks but we don’t because it threatens our status quo. Whenever we fear change of any kind it’s because Mr. Lizard has got his finger on the control panel of our brain. So what should we do?
Let me tell you another story. Imagine that you have a beautiful baby parrot from the rain forest. Now take that baby parrot and try desperately to keep it on the ground. Use nice language and speak to it politely. Explain in great detail why it’s not in it’s best interests to fly and that it’s better to stay on the ground.
Is the parrot going to listen? No. He may hear your words but he’s not going to follow your directions because the instincts in his body are telling him to lift off into the skies. Oops, there he goes, just lost him. Well maybe he’ll be back.
The instincts of our higher brain, the one is the most evolved and sits on the top of our heads, is to soar. Our higher brain loves to dream, see the bigger picture and stand out from the crowd. The higher brain is comfortable with difference and in facts even seeks it out.
A flying creature like the parrot is not content to stay on the ground like all the herd animals. He likes to fly and soar above the rest. That’s our higher brain.
So when we’re stuck and unable to move forward with what we really want there is only one problem and only one solution. We’ve got to get Mr. Lizards little paw off the control panel and put our high flying parrot in charge instead.
How do we do that? Well one way is to be willing to tolerate the discomfort and fear of loss. Anytime you dare to to stand out in the crowd and be different, you are going to come across your fear of not being liked and not being part of the herd. Eeek! Mr. Lizard hates this part.
Be kind to him. He can’t help himself. Don’t try to shut him up and definitely don’t put him in a closet somewhere. He’ll die. Just let him rant a bit as you go ahead and move towards what you really want. And what you really want is to dare to stand out and make a difference in the world.
In other words, face the fear of your lizard brain. Know that it feels strong but it can be overridden. Mission, passion and personal desire for making a difference are much stronger than fear. Mr. Lizard may scream, but he will eventually come along. He’s a better solider than he is a the leader.
But you are a leader, leading the way for others in whatever you’re doing that. Know that when you dare to stand out in the crowd and be unique, you truly make a difference in the world.
Today follow that wise sage’s advice and “Dare To Stand Out.”
I’m Annie Hart and I help leaders and big thinkers to stand out in the crowd and make a difference in the world.
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Hi Annie, great article and you are so right. I believe that you have to be brave and try something, even if later you choose to do something different.
As a career coach, one of the things that I am finding that many of my clients are choosing not to make changes to their career at the moment due to the recession. But in many cases this is just an excuse, as if you do stand out from the crowd and go for it, you have more chance of being successful.
Thanks, Karen
Annie,
This was a very interesting article and I agree that we should dare to be different. Dare to be true to ourselves. I find that my internal critic is a more larger opponent then any outsider. I don’t remeber who said it but I read this quote somewhere, “The little me is trying to strangle the big me.” I am a firm believer in not letting the little you strangle the greater you. Soar, I say Soar,
Jenn