The Top 10 Status Updates That Will Make My Sister Delete You From Facebook
November 20, 2009
My older sister is hilarious and tells it like it is. She has these funny rants about life that make me pee myself. The other day she was on a rant about deleting people on Facebook and it caused quite a stir. People were messaging her and saying, “You’re not going to delete me are you?”
I even got worried myself! I thought – what if my own sister decides to axe me and I don’t know about it? So I told her that she needs some criteria so we can all know if we’re on the butcher block or not. Her top ten reasons made me laugh so hard that I had to run to the little room!
you may be next!
#1 “My wonderful,sweet hubby just bought me flowers,jewelry and is taking me to dinner out at our favorite cozy,romantic bistro.”
Try being married longer than 2 months and then lets see what you post..”My husband put the toilet seat down (after I pulled my pistol on him)”! The competitive side in me wants to post my status right after hers with something like “My successful PHYSICIAN husband,just bought me a diamond bracelet,a new Mercedes,and is flying me to Paris for dinner.” So there you idiot. DELETE!
#2 “The baby kicked.”
Who cares! Why not tell us when you have your next bowel movement too. DELETE!
#3 “What did I ever do before my adorable grandchildren came into this world?”
These are always accompanied with endless photos of Patsy and Junior doing every darn adorable little thing from taking a freakin bath to picking their adorable little noses. Let’s start seeing posts about those adorable tots when they grow up-accompanied by photos such as “Spike on his way to rehab (finally)!” “Sissy graduating from beauty college!” DELETE!
#4 “Another lazy day laying on the white sands of Aruba on our 5th family vacation this year.”
How about a post such as “The family just piled into the car for a trip to I HOP,our 5th time this week!” DELETE!
#5 “Being thankful to The Lord Jesus Christ,our Savior, who died for our sins and brought eternal salvation.”
Sheesh.Where’s the humor in that? People who only bring on doom and gloom have no place in my friend list. DELETE!
#6 “Why??”
Huh?Why what? What are you saying? Why do you post this,so we all have to wonder till someone asks,and then you say to them that you will send them a PRIVATE message to explain? Leave me hanging like that. DELETE!
#7 “Lunch”
This isn’t Twitter,pal! Why don’t you start clogging up my FB with more updates since I have nothing better to do than read what you do every 15 minutes. DELETE!
#8 “My grandfather just had his yellowed,in -grown toenail removed ,but is now having issues with a recurring fungus.”
And you are giving us this detailed, revolting info so we can vomit while reading? DELETE!
#9 I just baked a glazed nut -encrusted torte,cleaned my large home,and my elderly neighbor’s too,finished pruning my prize winning roses,and am off to chair my charity group meeting.”
Forgot to mention to us that you also snuck in some time to POST all this on FB so we can feel like the lazy,computer dwelling slobs we are ? DELETE!
#10 “Tanning and working out! Love it!”
Why not tell us that all you really do is work on yourself, have no other thoughts in your head and then post about it? Love it! DELETE!
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