What the Mystics Say About Love, for Women
November 30, 2009
Have you ever felt down and out in the realm of love? I know I have. Either you have a partner and it’s just not always up to par. He doesn’t put the toilet seat down, he forgets to buy you flowers, he means well but you just don’t feel as appreciated or as you could.
Or you don’t have a partner at all and you’re wondering if you’re going to dry up and shrivel like a raisin or if you will ever find the love of your life. Sound familiar?
It seems either way we go in the realm of love and relationship, we just don’t feel satisfied. Why is that? Well the mystics say that the feminine essence is about the radiance of love itself. Boy that sounds nice doesn’t it! Why then don’t we feel like love’s radiance most of the time but instead feel like wrung out dishrags or under appreciated figurines that have been left on the shelf for too long? Ah, this is where it is up to us to create the circuitry that we need in order to feel whole.
Most of the time we are conditioned to think about what we’re getting. Where’s my flowers? Where’s my jewelry? Where are my hugs, my love, my everything? Where, where, where? It’s all about me. Now I know that as soon as I say this you are replying, “No all I do is give, give, give.” That may be true.
Many women give as a form of trying to get. I can hear you gasping in horror right now. I know we don’t believe that we are giving to get anything. We like to think it’s unconditional but just watch what happens if you cook an outstanding dinner for someone and no one comments on it. Try wearing a brand new outfit and see what happens if no one notices. You will notice just how quickly the feminine radiance has come to depend on external sources of feedback for her well being.
We plummet instantly right? You just got a new hair cut and how dare he not notice. You made an amazing dinner and he acted like it was a TV dinner. Underneath of our giving, we are often subtly trying (desperately) to receive love. Eek! That blows the cover right off of my nice idea of myself as such a generous, loving person.
I am generous and loving and I know you are too, but just see what could happen in terms of your personal fulfillment if you really sniff underneath most of your giving and realize – darn it all, I am trying to get something!
At first it feels awful to see this and admit it but after awhile it’s actually liberating. Liberating because we don’t have to be reliant on outside sources of love. We can truly give for the pleasure of sharing.
The mystics say that to find personal fulfillment we need to remove the dark outer shell that surrounds the seed of light. That dark outer shell for us women is our endless, incessant need for someone or something to fill and fulfill us. We are an empty vessel expecting others to fill us. This sets us up for nearly constant disappointment.
So today, think about how you can fill the vessel in other way, breathe into your own heart and feel it warm up. Then go out and share and notice if over time you can find more fulfillment and less disappointment. In being the Light of Love that we were meant to be, true fulfillment awaits.
Excuse me I gotta go do the dishes now! I know I know, it’s not glamorous, but maybe just maybe, some light is waiting for me right there in the sink! It’s everywhere. We just need to look.
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WOW! This hits home…. Thanks for helping me understand my Wife even better…
Love, Brian-