Your Gifts
February 26, 2010
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42 Day Creative Retreat Process, Details Revealed
February 25, 2010
Yesterday I revealed some of the details of the 42 Day Creative Retreat process for the very first time my friends Jeff Simpkins and Eric Cook.
If you should want to listen, it was a very lively show and I think you’ll get a lot out of it!
Click here to listen
Enjoy!
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Where Fulfillment Really Comes From, It’s Not Where You Think
February 25, 2010
We spend most of our lives turning in tiny circles, around and around like a dog chasing it’s tail - trying to find happiness, love, peacefulness and most of all fulfillment. So why does it seem to always elude us?
We feel it for a fleeting second and then it is gone. We try to hold onto it but it is more slippery than an underwater eel. It has an elusive quality to it that we just can’t wrap our hands or minds around.
Why is that?
Some say that the world was created this way on purpose. Why is that? It’s kind of like this - if you’re always great at everything, if everything comes to you easily and you never have to work at anything, then life would be totally boring and unfulfilling.
We don’t think it would be. We long for this imagined nirvana in which we never have to work again but honest to God, we’d be dead in two days from complete boredom.
You see our true and lasting fulfillment comes from effort - from going against the grain, pushing against what’s difficult and doing what seems impossible.
Yikes!
That doesn’t match my ’sit-on-a-sandy-beach-in-the-sun’ idea of fulfillment. That’s not what I had in mind!
But without that effort, life would be too easy and we’d again be bored to tears. We’d say to ourselves, (yawn) - “Oh boy another day of Pina Coladas, sun and surf. Give me some meaty challenge to deal with please!”
Fulfillment comes from doing what we don’t want to do - calling my mother when I’d rather turn off the phone, reaching out to a friend when I would prefer to be lounging on the couch and most important of all - really looking inside and changing from the inside out.
Ok ready for some fun? I’ll go first. Let’s make a list together of our worst attributes. You call that fun? Not yet but just hang in there ok?
My top three are:
- Arrogance - too many lifetimes as a haughty queen.
- Stubborness - my mother found this out when I was only 1 year old.
- Hardheadedness - I always think I’m right. Aren’t I??
So no slouching now. It’s not enough just to sit and stare at my negative traits, that’s not fair. Get out your pen and start jotting your own top 3 -5 .
Here is your secret doorway to fulfillment. Each day start changing those horrible, awful and ugly traits into their higher qualities and voila’ you will see an amazing change. Ok I’ll go first again.
- Arrogant - instead of being above people, I have to weather this discomfort of being the same, being alike and joining in. Eeeek! But once I do that I get the surprising and hidden benefit of love, caring and belonging. See what I mean now?
- Stubborn - instead of always digging my heels in I need to flex, bend and go with the flow. Super hard for me to do but hey I’m out for more in life. When I do this, I get the unexpected fulfillment of peacefulness and happiness.
- Hard headed - I’m not changing this no matter what you say! Just kidding. I have to realize that I am not always right and learn to value others opinions, needs and points of view, even if they’re wrong. Just kidding again, but see how hard this is!
Now let me be honest and say that that I don’t personally want to give up any of these traits. Well I do on a ‘higher level’ but we have to realize that these ‘negative’ traits are actually easy and comfortable for us.
It is much easier to look down on people than to feel the discomfort of being being part of things and being rejected right? Get the idea?
Growth which leads to fulfillment is always uncomfortable!
If it’s easy, it’s not the right path. Now I’m not talking about needless pain or suffering. I’m talking about pushing and exerting in a direction that you know you need to change. Even your mother will agree.
If you don’t believe me, and there is no reason that you should, then try this test. Ask your three best friends and your mother and if you want to amp it up then ask your worst enemy too - say “What are my worst traits that if I changed them, I would be a better person?”
No covering your ears when they reply. That’s cheating too.
Breathe, open your heart, keep your shoulders down, keep your hands loose and smile while you’re listening.
Think to yourself, “Ah this is the best thing that I could possibly hear because it is my ticket to freedom.” Picture all of the love, happiness and fulfillment that is going to come streaming in when you do this.
So this is where fulfillment really lives - under the ugly, the uncomfortable and the not-so-lovable parts of ourselves. They are there for a reason. Let’s go for the gusto and make some change today. Please feel free to report your efforts.
Yours in always seeking for more and more and more,
Annie
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Stories From the Next World: I Must Be From Another Planet
February 22, 2010
This is a companion piece to my blog post of last week, “Swimming Against the Tide.”
I must be from another planet. In fact I’m pretty sure that I am. When someone tells me about the right way to do things, I instinctively think, “Oh no, I can’t do that.” Well actually it’s not that I can, but more like I won’t.
You see I’m from another planet and maybe you are too. On my home planet we would never think of doing everything the same as everyone else. Oh no, on our home planet - we like to be unique and original just like our fingerprints.
We visitors from another planet tend to have this go against the grain streak inside of us that makes us stand out from the crowd. And that’s not a good thing. In a world where difference is seen as a threat to survival it’s not easy to be unique and go against the grain.
Years ago when I was in college, I took a ceramics class and one day our teacher announced that we were going to make a set of 6 mugs all alike. Now given what I’ve said above, I want you to imagine just what my response was? Eeek!
I don’t want to make 6 mugs all alike!’ So I had the guts to speak up and ask, “Why would I do that? If I wanted 6 mugs all the same I could just go to a department store and buy them.”
He was pissed! He didn’t like me messing with his idea. People that have the right way to do things rarely do. They get mad when you muss up their nice little formula for life. I didn’t mean to do that. Honestly, it’s not that I wanted to offend him. It’s just that I cannot, simply CAN-KNOT make 6 pieces of art all alike.
It’s not in me.
It’s not in my DNA, not in my bones and my hands won’t allow me to do it. Guaranteed that if I had tried, I would have gotten a horrible rash on my hands or something just to prove that it’s exactly what I should not be doing.
Now I know that people from this planet all like to do things in a certain set way. I understand the logic of that. But it never works for me nonetheless.
So in my ceramics class I actually slipped to the corner of the room and set about making my one, single, original and totally one-of-a-kind mug, while everyone else was making their six in a row.
It wasn’t comfortable to be doing my totally unique thing but it was necessary. Because had I forced myself to make six all alike, I’m pretty sure that I would be in a mental institution today still making mugs all in a row. We from another planet are very sensitive you see.
When I was done the teacher came over. He actually admitted that my lone original mug was pretty cool. Was I imaging it or was he really longing to break out of the mold and create one all his own? I’m pretty sure I felt his longing. We from another planet can feel things like that.
So don’t worry if you don’t feel the same and you definitely don’t fit all in a nice neat row. It’s ok. You’re from another planet and you’re here to make a difference. Or in some cases you’re here to be the difference.
Just breathe and go with the flow. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks. I still have that mug and I love it.
Be one of a kind because that’s what you are anyway - original, unique and just like your fingerprints, all your own.
Yours in always sharing the stories that make you stand out in a crowd,
Annie
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Change Your Altitude
February 22, 2010
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42 Day Creative Retreat Process: The Details Revealed
February 21, 2010
Woo-hoo here we go folks. This week for the first time I will be talking about the 42 Day Creative Retreat process live on a Webinar with my wonderful colleague Jeff Simpkins.
Here’s the description:
42 Day Creative Retreat Process: How to go away every day
Date: Wednesday, February 24, 2010 @ 1 pm Eastern
You want to do bigger things in life but sometimes those bigger, more meaningful projects seem impossible to get off the ground. How do you take time out of your busy day to dedicate to the things that really matter to you? More importantly how do you overcome that ever present inner critic that tells you you can’t do it? Join Annie Hart (that’s me), creator and developer of the 42 Day Creative Retreat Process which helped her create a nearly complete body of work in only 42 days.
Now what’s not to love about that folks?
You want to do bigger things in the world and it’s darned hard to get them off the ground right? That’s why I put myself in the ‘desert’ of my own life to find out how to crack the code and I’m bringing it out to the public now for the very first time.
Please join us. Jeff is great - very lively and engaging. He is the one who I tell the funny story about that he turned me on to Bea Fields, the blogging class and the power of Twitter. This is a man with a lot of heart, knowledge and expertise.
He will be hearing about the process for the first time as well. So do be on the edge of your seats to find out all the juicy details!
The Webinar is free but you do need to register. Just click here to do so.
Coming soon, my collaborator Ian Waddelow and I will be launching a 42 Day Retreat pilot group. How fun is that!
So stay tuned for more and as always get out there and change the world!
Annie
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The Storyteller Tells Her Stories
February 20, 2010
It’s time to take a leap. Every now and then in your life, more often then I’d like, it’s time to take a deeper plunge, a bigger risk and really go for the gold. So I am going to be writing and telling my own very personal and sometimes painful stories for the very first time.
Whew! Breathe.
It’s not easy! I make it look and seem easy for other people, that’s my gift. But damn it is really hard to do for myself. Luckily I have found just the right team as it honestly takes a team to pull these stories out of me. They don’t want to come out on their own.
These stories are like little long-fingered underwater creatures who are gripping onto the rocks so they don’t have to let go. Eeeeeek!
Why is it so scary to tell personal stories? Very personal stories.
Gosh, I could give you a long list of the reasons that it’s so scary. It seems silly to say but it actually feels life threatening to a part of us. Telling our stories is a way out of the box that we have lived in. We are bound by the emotions, the memories and the meanings of our past stories and thus like the famous Pandora’s box, we must liberate them.
Fortunately as I said, I have just the right team - I have my wonderful reliable weekly writing buddy whom I meet weekly at the local Barnes and Noble coffee shop so we can write together. We’ve been doing this for some months now.
In case you’d want to know my reason for meeting there - it’s because they have sunshine streaming in the windows (I need to feel warm), great Earl Grey tea (I need to have good tea) and a bag of delicious potato chips doesn’t hurt.
Basically it’s a good way to bribe myself to keep on going doing something that is hard!
Then I have my fabulous listening buddy who is helping me tell the stories orally. Written stories and orally told stories are two very different animals and so I know from my own story guiding of others, that the deeper, more painful and often more powerful stories need to be ‘listened out of you.’
My story Maestro listens to me very carefully. He is impeccable in his listening, which is what I really need. He does not trod on my heart nor make those kinds of comments afterwards that make you wish you’d never told your story. He wears a white velvet glove of purity that makes the telling easy.
To be impeccable in your listening you have to be out of your out of your own way - be really silent and really present.
But here is the best part of all. He also makes me laugh while I’m crying! Yesterday was a perfect example.
Yesterday as I was telling a difficult story (and blowing my nose through the telling), I suddenly heard an indescribable noise, a kind of ‘crkkkkrrrrrr‘ sound. Hmm, what was that???
He didn’t say anything about it and I heard him make an ‘uh huh‘ sound like he was listening, so I just carried on.
A minute later I couldn’t hear him, so I asked, “Are you there Chief?” (that’s one of my nicknames for him). Then there was the sound of scramble, scramble, scramble and then he says, “Yes I’m here. I just kicked the microphone over.” Perfect timing!
It was perfect timing. I started laughing so loudly that my crying and snorting turned into guffawing. It was a priceless moment.
Perfect for the storyteller to be paused mid-sob for a moment of sheer humor. My impeccable listener, who was working so hard to be there for me knocked over his microphone and was trying to retrieve it without interrupting.
I am still laughing just picturing him trying to rebound without disrupting my story. What a riot!
These are the precious moments of storytelling. In that moment I realized that it’s not just the telling of the story that is important, but every thing beautiful that surrounds it - the bonding that happens between two humans as they listen and share and the moments of pure delight when real life magic happens and humor appears out of nowhere.
This is the true magic of storytelling.
I am pr
oud, honored, scared and delighted to be telling my own raw and real stories. The deep ones, the raw ones, the ones that matter. If I can’t lead the way on then I’m not worth my metal.
Gotta leap, gotta take a dive.
Thanks to all my partners for supporting me. It takes a community to tell a story. I’d still be on the ledge without you. Thanks as well to all of my blog readers for caring about stories and storytelling. You make all the difference.
Stay tuned for more of the raw and real, the places we dive deep together and make life more fulfilling from taking risks.
Yours in diving into the heart of the matter and laughing about it all the way,
Annie
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The Transformative Power of Stories for Children
February 17, 2010
Annie: This is a beautiful story sent to me by Mike Blackstone a friend, colleague and blog reader of mine. He told some stories to his children with truly magical results. This really invites us to realize the transformative power of story. Thanks for sharing Mike. It really opened my heart.
Mike: A month ago I was invited to a lecture that was to take place last Sunday afternoon. I had completely forgotten about this lecture until it popped back into my mind 25 minutes before it was to begin. Interestingly, I had spent some quality time with my two little boys that morning, had all my “chores” done, so I told my wife Maureen I was going.
When I got to the lecture, I found out the speaker was an “ageless wisdom” guy which I don’t know much about. His theme was “Unfolding the Soul’s Purpose,” and among many things, he talked a little about reincarnation and astrology. I enjoyed it.
When I got home, I did a little research on the internet about him and about some of his subjects. I came across one little tidbit in an online astrology chart about focusing on “raising one’s children well,” and that struck a little heart chord. Hmm, could be a bit of a life purpose in there?
A couple of hours later I had this impulse and decided to tell my 6 year-old a story, and base it on the concept that we had lived other lives together. I completely improvised it. Here is the gist:
We were young brothers (Native Americans) in the 1800s. Out on an exploratory adventure, we were attacked by a mountain lion. It took all of our wits (mostly his) to both come out of it alive. Later we were attacked by a she-bear when we accidentally stumbled upon her cubs. Again our wits, mostly his, saved the day.
Several times during the story he said, with his head cocked to one side and his eyes narrowed, “Dad, you’re making this up, aren’t you?” Of course I denied it saying that that’s what I “remember.” But each time he asked me to keep telling the story.
About an hour later, my 9 year-old, Elliot, comes into my office and asks, very intently, “What did you tell Euan?” I said, “Why are you asking?” He replied, “Well, Euan said you TOLD him something!” “Do you want me to tell you something, too?” “Yes.” So I told Elliot a story, completely improvised, that went like this.
We were neighbor kids in the tenements of New York City in the late 1920s—best buddies who lived about a block apart. One day we were hanging out in the neighborhood, but I was about a block away around the corner with a couple of the guys. I heard loud voices and we came around the corner to see what was going on.
“I saw you (Elliot) surrounded by four rough guys from another neighborhood, and one started threatening you that they were going to beat you up. That kid turned, looked at his buddies to smile, and as he turned his head back, your fist lashed out, caught him square in the nose and knocked him clean onto his back.
There was blood everywhere. The other three were about to set on you but saw me and the other guys, grabbed their fallen comrade and beat a hasty retreat. They never came back.”
When I was done, Elliot floored me by saying, “Thanks, Dad, for telling me that story. And you know the part I liked the best? I didn’t need you to save me.”
I was dumbfounded in some wonderful way. The next morning, as I was taking them to school, Elliot said, “Thanks again for telling me that story, Dad, I really liked it.” And I wondered again what that was all about. He had never thanked me before for telling a story.
A few nights later I was tucking the boys in bed, I told Euan another story where we were both bridge builders, but he was a bridge designer. Right at that moment he nodded his head deeply in some sort of agreement, and he saved my life on a bridge-building site during an earthquake. Remember, he was the skeptic.
This time HE thanked me for telling him that story.
When he nodded his head it was pretty funny because he’s lately been into wearing a blindfold to bed—the kind you get on an airplane. So, I’m right by his face, softly telling him the story, he’s wearing his blindfold, and he starts to nod in agreement when I get to the “bridge designer” part. It melted my heart.
There have been a few more stories since, and, with how much they seem to love them, there WILL be many more.
I am still digesting all this, but I find it amazing. A couple of clues I’m looking at—Euan (6yrs) loves to build things and is a Lego maniac. Elliot (9 yrs) loves everything about the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) and is determined to make his living as a pro wrestler.
Annie: Don’t you love this story? Sweet, simple ways to make a difference in the minds of children. Thanks Mike for sharing the transformative power of story.
Yours in always sharing the stories that matter,
Annie
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You Want To Do Bigger Things
February 15, 2010
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Stories From the Next World: Swimming Against the Tide
February 15, 2010
I must be doing it all wrong. Everyone else is doing it one way and I am doing it the total opposite. I must be a total failure. That’s what I told myself for many years in the area of marketing my business.
Recently I had a conversation with a colleague who is great at marketing, in fact he has a background in corporate sales. He and I have similar training in NLP and Hypnosis and some years ago he went out on his own and created his own business. He’s doing fine but he’s not really thriving. His struggle is to get repeated clients.
But if you ask me (and no one did!), that’s not the real issue. The real issue is that in all he’s doing he is missing a certain level of fulfillment. We all get into the ‘people business’ because we want to help people. Then we are given the dreaded mandate that we need to market ourselves. Eeek! Every creative caring person hates this part.
We didn’t get into business to be in business, we just happened to pick something which required it.
The irony is that even though he is the one with the marketing background and knows all the right ways to do things, I am in fact the one that is thriving. Better than that though is that I am very fulfilled in what I do. The money that keeps me afloat is wonderful but more vital than that is the happiness that I have.
I have nearly total fulfillment in my work. That is the biggest value that my business provides me. I love my clients, love what I do and am working with amazing people from all over the world. How the hell did that happen? Me who didn’t have a clue about marketing myself and never wanted to do it either.
I have been swimming against the tide.
When the experts told me to:
- Have a clear marketing and business plan - I couldn’t.
- Create an exact target market of who I am selling my services to - Uh no, couldn’t do that either. Isn’t it the whole world?
- Get out and network myself with schmaltzy print materials and business cards - Nope, hated that. I went to Starbucks instead.
- Create a one line description of what I do that would totally grab people’s attention in under 10 seconds - Call me old-fashioned but I stuck with regular old human conversation.
- Package my work in a formulaic way that I could sell to businesses - I’d rather have Chinese water torture than do this.
- yada
- yada
- yada
- yada
- yada
Anyway you get the idea. I did it all wrong. I did absolutely everything backwards from what the experts said I should do and much to my surprise - it worked!
Who are these experts anyway? Hmm, good question! Well they are might be people who have tried to find a kind of generic formula so that everyone can win the game. Not a bad idea by any means, many people do succeed this way.
But are they happy? The big question is - can we make money and have personal fulfillment too? The answer is - we must. This is just one of the values of the future - a “we can have it all” paradigm.
In the series that I am writing called, Stories From the Next World, I will be talking about the values of the next world - those values, traits and characteristics of greatness and bravery, that if we embody them now, we will be ahead of our time.
So trait number one is this - swim, swim, swim against the tide little fishes. If the experts tell you to X, Y, Z but you feel in your gut to Q, S and LL then you must. You need to have the courage to swim against the current of the world that says that there is a right way and a wrong way to do things.
Swimming upstream is definitely hazardous. You have to be able to tolerate feeling alone, thinking you’re a failure, have people point out what you’re certainly doing wrong and feeling utterly confused.
But for me I just did it from instinct because I could never tolerate having business ’success’ at the expense of my personal freedom or fulfillment. No go Joe! At the end of the day, I want to be happy AND peaceful.
The world of the future will not be a world of either or - either I am rich or I am happy. The value of the next world is that it has to be both!
Stay tuned for more in the series of Stories From the Next World and please tune in to my weekly Radio 42 Show where I’ll be sharing more of these stories and secrets of the Universe as well. You wouldn’t want to miss those!
Yours in swimming against the tide that was going in the wrong direction anyway,
Annie
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