My Hiatus, It’s Time For a Change
August 5, 2010
hiatus from busyness
Every now and then you just need to stop all the noise and hunker down for a change. So that’s exactly what I’m doing. I am putting everything on rest mode until the Fall.
Why? How? Whew, that’s a big deal!
Yes it is. It’s not easy to give up all the doing and all the busyness that keeps our wheels of everyday life turning. All of that turning, churning and busyness makes us feel important to the world, like we’re ‘putting our time in’ and contributing something rather than just being a meaningless laze.
Ah yes the busyness does have some value, but truly I believe that if we don’t take rest from it all, take time to confront the intimidating quiet and the stillness, then we will have truly lose touch with real life.
It’s not that my life is so busy that I need to slow down and rest. It’s that I’m actually heeding the call of quiet and silence before the real need even shows up.
heeding the call
I do find this kind of thing intimidating – what the heck will I do with all my time? I know that sounds silly but try it yourself and you’ll see what I mean. All of those things we do give our life a subtle worthiness that is hard to wean ourselves off of.
But we have to find an essential trust in life don’t you think?
Here’s my plan. I am going to set out without even knowing how I will fill my time. Ah, the scariness of it all. Who knows what can emerge if I trust the not-knowing.
Creativity could abound or I could sleep my way through it. I could read a ton of books, or write up a storm or none of that or all of that. Yes there are endless possibilities but I will not plan to do any of it.
Being in tune with yourself requires the courage to not know what’s in front of you.
beautiful silence
So I will be back my friends but what you’re going to hear from me for a little while is the beautiful sound of my silence.
I hope you will enjoy it and possibly take some silent time for yourself as well.
If it inspires you, which I hope it does, see what of the busy things you do, which ones could drop away and still have your world turn. Know what I mean? The world can go on without you doing all of those endless tasks.
If you’re so inspired try it yourself and I’ll meet you in the silence!
The Single Greatest Change You Can Make
July 5, 2010
ready for change
Ready for a leap in self development? Ok here it is. Make a list of your top ten worst traits. That’s right, stop and do that right now.
Now sit that list right in front of you. You should feel a cringe inside your gut like, “Oh jeez I wish that wasn’t me.” If you feel that, then you’ve got the right list.
If you feel like, “Oh that’s not so bad,” then you faked yourself out the first time and you need to write it over. This time write the REAL list. The one you don’t want anybody to know about.
Now that you’ve got the real list let’s begin. With the list straight in front of you picture yourself at 80 years old. Imagine all those traits on the list as getting stronger, firmer, less yielding and more set in stone, like granite. Ok really picture yourself at 80 with those traits having hardened into being who you are today.
EEEEKKK!
If you feel that eeek! then we’re on the right track. This means that those traits are exactly who you never want to become right? If you want to amp up this exercise, go back and list the top five worst traits of someone whom you judge a lot.
Again add them to your set-in-stone 80-year old personality and you’ve got all the makings for a big change coming on right now! Ready?
time for change
All you have to do is to take seriously the fact that if we are not pushing ourselves to change then we’re not changing.
I have watched every one of my older relatives, friends, colleagues become less kind, less loving and more unyielding as they’ve aged. It’s a shocking conclusion about life that no one ever tells us about and and I’m not sure why not.
Our negative traits are like weeds that grow and take over if we don’t pull them out.
I watched my favorite aunt become nasty and brittle in her old age, a former boyfriend who instead of became self-centered and inward and I notice myself that if I’m not careful I wake up in the mornings like a grumpy old lady.
EEEK AGAIN!
We must run away from these traits and constantly keep that negative image of our 80 year-old selves right in front of us. Is this negative conditioning? Yes it is. But in this case, if we don’t keep an image of what we don’t want right in front of us, we will slide downhill right towards it.
I’m not sure why but it seems a fact of human destiny, that if we don’t change on purpose, we tend to deteriorate in body, mind and spirit as we age. We’re not just getting older, we’re getting more crochety! But we don’t have to.
The negative image in this case is really a positive way of heading towards what we really want. Because the cool thing is that when work against our default nature, we actually reveal our real and beautiful selves.
The diamond is right underneath the crud. So get digging.
Don’t be afraid to dig out your absolute worst traits and keep them in mind everyday as you go about your life. With each nasty part of yourself that you undo, you shed just a little more light on the world.
Mine for today was to wake up out of grumpy and into gratitude. Ah, what a beautiful day and how blessed my life is. How about you?
Life is a Dangerous Adventure
June 29, 2010
courage
Life is a dangerous adventure and we should live it with gusto. But too often we live as if life was meant to make us comfortable or to give us everything we need. Then we act shocked and outraged when ‘things go wrong.’
Things aren’t going wrong. It’s just life.
When life is a dangerous adventure then you actively seek out the un-comfort-able zone. You put yourself on the edge of your awareness, always eager for growth, change and the next step into the impossible.
In the comfort zone you basically stay in the sleep zone of life and while you feel good on one level, you terrible on another because some part of you knows deep down that you were meant for more.
Does life as a dangerous adventure mean that you need to become like Evil Knievel and jump over cars? No. That is called daring and is good for those high wire folks, but it is not what I’m talking about.
Unlike heroic acts of courage in exceptional circumstances, it’s about developing the inner courage that enables us to lead authentic and fulfilling lives on a day-to-day basis. This is the courage to embrace the unknown in spite of our fears.
I’m talking about embracing life. Seeing it as it really is rather than the way we’ve been conditioned to believe it is. This would include:
- not being shocked when things don’t go your way
- seeking out the things that are good for your growth but make you uncomfortable
- helping others to do the same
- enjoying it all!
Ah that’s life in the no-comfort zone – risky, juicy and full of….welll life!
As Osho says, “Whenever we are faced with uncertainty and change in our lives, it is actually a cause for celebration. Instead of trying to hang on to the familiar and the known, we can learn to enjoy these situations as opportunities for adventure and for deepening our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.”
Don’t call it uncertainty, call it wonder
Don’t call it insecurity, call it freedom
When we feel more insecurity and more danger the only way to respond to it is with awareness. There are only two possibilities, either you close your eyes and become like an ostrich or you wake up to the life that is waiting all around you.
Life is not a mechanical process. Life is a mystery. Nobody knows what is going to happen in the next moment. If everything is known then we are just robots sleepwalking through life.
So if you’re looking for your next dangerous adventures, don’t just make it a bungy-jumping trip to Cancun, make it your whole life.
Viva la vida peligrosa!
I’d enjoy hearing from you and if you’d like to listen to my Radio Show on the same topic, I’ll have lots of fun stories and tips for you there too!
Be A Failure Outloud
June 13, 2010
facing failure
I wrote a blog post about why I’m afraid to tell my stories but why I am going to do it anyway. So I wanted to explain why I’m willing to be a failure out-loud.
It’s not for the self- aggrandizement, that’s for sure! But being a failure outloud is one of the best things we can do for our soul.
If you are going to change the world, you need to change yourself, then let others follow by example.
That’s why I always strive to do the harder things in life, because I want more, not just for myself but for you too. I want more for all of us and hiding behind our false failures is a reality that none of us need. We all feel like a failure in some way or another.
get to the gold
But the reality is that none of us are. We are all perfectly imperfect, trying to carry out our spiritual task of shedding the crap that we were born with and becoming the luminous souls that we are meant to be.
This is the journey for each of us. Each of us carries a story inside that is about getting beyond the gunk to get to the gold. We are all hero’s and heroines in our own story. It is a HUGE task to do this work.
And some people don’t do it.
Look around and you will see complacent people everywhere. They are hiding inside their tiny lives of ‘I have enough just like this, don’t bother me for more.’
The problem is that’s not really true. We all need more and believe it or not, shucking the shell of your shame, embarrassment, discomfort and fear is the best thing you can do to live a bigger life.
eeek!
Think of a hermit crab – if he stays in the shell that is too small he will be stuck and unable to grow. He has one moment when he sheds his too-small-shell and runs at full speed for his new one.
But this moment it is sheer terror!!
He is stark naked, unprotected and could be easily assailed by any of the malevolent forces of the Universe. But he won’t be. He’s protected but he doesn’t know it.
He’s protected by the act of courage itself. Courage gives you force and energy, one you didn’t even know you had until you make a run for it towards your larger shell.
So that’s why I’m willing to live my discomfort out-loud, because I’m hoping you will too. I’m hoping that together we’ll make a train of little hermit crabs scuttling across the beach shouting, “I want a bigger life and I’m willing to be uncomfortable.”
Are you willing? Are you willing to shuck your shell and join me on this scary, intimidating, life-enhancing journey???
If you are, I’d love to hear from you. All hermit crabs in search of new life, line up here. I’ll make a run for it first, then all you have to do is follow. It’s really that easy.
Eeeeeekk! Here I go! You coming?
Sharing vs Selling, What’s the Difference?
April 22, 2010
Recently someone asked me how I market myself.
Oops, I don’t.
I know that sounds crazy but I really don’t ‘market’ myself. But listen carefully here because words are important.
I’m not saying that I don’t share my work and make a living at it, because I do. So what the heck is the difference between selling and sharing?
If you ask me, it’s a big difference but one that we don’t often discern, but then we find that those of us in who are in a businesses of a sharing nature, often feel disappointed for one reason or another.
We often feel that we have to choose one side or the other. Either we sell ourselves (i.e market ourselves) or we give it away for free!
Ah, now we’re getting to the heart of the matter. Notice that when I said ‘give it away for free’ some part of your mind, equates that with sharing.
But that’s not sharing at all. So here is discernment Number 1 – sharing is NOT about giving things away for free. It has nothing to do with that. Here’s why:
Most of the time when we are giving something away for ‘free’, we’re really trying to get something in return.
The traditional freebie in the marketing world goes something like this: “I’ll give you this free box of whojamawatzies if you buy my bigger box of something-or-others.”
That’s a traditional freebie mentality and there is nothing wrong with that. So if you’re a traditional marketer, don’t go freaking out here. I’m not bashing you or what you do.
I am only trying to illuminate those of us who feel disheartened or disappointed in our efforts to really share ourselves with the world. So if that’s you, listen on.
Sharing is a consciousness of generosity and love, of being bigger than our small selves and of getting beyond the mindset of me, me, me and into the WE.
We can ask, “How can I serve and what can I give to the world?” But here’s the hard part, we also need to ask – “how can I let go of receiving anything in return?”
Yikes! Did she just say we’re not supposed to receive anything?
No, that’s not what I said. I said LET GO of what will return. Meaning, do the sharing for the sake of a better world, not for just yourself.
Got it? Do it for something bigger, more meaningful and more lasting than just your tiny self (or my tiny self in this case). I gotta get out of my own way and trust the Universe to provide.
Now why should I do that? Is this just some nice new age thinking????
No actually not. My thinking is much more ‘old age’. By that I mean that I try to think like the sages of ages – those great and wise souls that went before us and showed us a way that we’ve lost.
Here’s an example. Let’s imagine Jesus going into a downtown Manhattan marketing firm. He walks into a boardroom with their senior team of marketing experts and they immediately fire off a series of questions to him:
- what is your message?
- who is your target audience and whom do you want to reach?
- how much money do you want to make?
- what makes you unique?
He quietly says, “I want as much love in the world as possible and I will share my message with anyone. And the money? It will come. As soon as I start sharing some loaves and fishes, we’ll all be taken care of.”
YIKES!
This is not what they want to hear. They look unnerved, start sweating and give each other subtle looks around the board table. Then they quietly usher him out the door saying, “Have a good day and good luck with everything!”
Whew, he’s gone!
Then the next client comes in. This time it’s the Buddha, but they have no idea who the Buddha is. All they just know is that he’s dressed in some funny looking robes and carrying a begging bowl.
“Um excuse me sir but we don’t cater to beggars here.”
“But I’m not here to beg. I’m here to pray. I was walking by and had the feeling that you needed something here. So I am here to share with you.”
They look dumbfounded. ‘What the heck does this mean? What do we do now?’ They start sweating, give each other subtle looks around the boardroom table and then kindly but firmly usher Mr. Buddha-whoever-you- are, right out the door.
Whew! Back to business as usual right?
But after that something is different. Suddenly they are becoming kinder and helping each other in a way that they never did before. Hmm, what’s happening here?
And more than that, the following month their profits have soared for no good reason. This is impossible. There were no new clients, no new projects. What the heck is this? Some kind of freaking miracle???
Yes. That’s exactly what it is.
The structure of a miracle begins with sharing – getting out of our comfort zone and thinking of others first. Believe it or not, marketing can be as simple and as difficult as that.
It’s simple because it’s a simple idea. It’s difficult because it’s nearly impossible to execute. Why? Because our innate me, me, me attitude gets in the way.
It’s nearly impossible not to think about ourselves and what we will get out of things. So don’t even bother to try not to think about that! Do something else instead.
When the Buddha walks in to your office and tries to offer you something, say to him, “No it’s me that needs to share something with you. Would you like some tea?”
Today, think how the energy, the mindset and the intent of sharing can be your real goal. Money will follow.
At least this is what the sages as been telling us for ages. We just don’t want to listen.
It ain’t easy to do things that are out of our comfort zone, but do it anyway. At the end of the day you will feel peace inside and the rewards are right behind it.
Today, get out of yourself and go for something bigger.
We’re Women – Why Our Hair Matters!
April 1, 2010
We are women, we can pretend all we want to but our hair really matters to us. Why is that?
The answer is – I have no idea. It just does.
When I was in college my best friend Jodi and I had this ‘thing’ about our hair. We would never admit it of course because we both liked to believe that we were too cool and above all that hullabaloo that women make about their hair. But in fact there were days when we were actually traumatized depending on our hair and it’s whims.
Now that doesn’t mean that we spent hours every single day brushing and blow drying and curling our hair etc., but it did mean that we would on occasion spend hilarious hours in front of the mirror moaning about our bad hair days.
Bad hair days for women are just bad days period.
When our hair looks bad, we feel bad! Men don’t understand this at all and I can’t say that I blame them. It makes no sense to most of us either.
Jodi and I mostly complained about what we called our ‘hair hats’ – those those days when our hair would simply not style itself into anything other than a kind of pitiful mop on our heads, or worse yet into some kind of horror movie type ‘do’.
We would purposefully comb our hair into hair hats just to emphasize the horror of it all. We spent hours laughing about this together (and no this is not an actual photo of us to the right, but the one below is.)
Jodi and I also went through our B-52′s period. If you don’t know who the B-52′s are, you are either too young or too old to read this post. But anyway it was our semi-punk rock days and we were pretty hot or at least we thought so.
In all of this, our hair totally mattered. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but it did.
So why oh why does womens hair matter so much to us??
The answer is that even after all of these years, I still don’t have a clue.
I am somewhat embarrassed about it all but that’s probably just because I live in a man’s world and most men really give one wit about their hair (sorry guys!)
The truth is that my hair matters and that last week after writing a blog post about my graying roots – I went out and got a brand new hair cut and color! I just could not help myself.
Now here’s my BIG question for you? How does a woman know if she’s got a really great haircut? I’ll give you a clue. It has nothing to do with whether she personally likes it or not.
The answer is – if you have a great haircut then ALL the women in your life comment on it.
If they don’t say a word, or they look the other way, then you’ve got a loser.
So yay I got a winning haircut (and color) folks because everyone I know has been commenting on it all week, even my big sister and my niece who are very picky about hair.
Now I could totally pretend that this doesn’t matter to me at all but you would know that but you’d all know that I was a big fat liar!
The reason that I know that I am truly a woman is because I am finally admitting out loud that my hair matters to me and that’s just that.
Yes I am finally out of the hair closet once and for all. All in all I believe that a winning haircut is much better than a losing hair hat, wouldn’t you say Jodi??
Let me know what you think folks!
p.s this blog post was written from an airplane :>)
Ok Girls, Thank You But Back Off!
March 29, 2010
I love my girlfriends! I have some of the most loving, sharing women in my corner. That said, it’s time to tell my wonderful girlfriends to back off about my appearance!
Women cannot help themselves. We see every little nuance of appearance – hair, eyebrows, shoes, makeup etc. That’s a good thing. It’s part of our inherent beauty and our Love Goddess nature.
But sometimes it’s a bit overdone. Our culture is completely obsessed with feminine appearance and we are all part of this, even those of us who don’t want to be.
While I value looking good in the beauty aspect of i – sharing the power and grace of womanhood, on the other hand there are times when I can get too caught in that and feel off track.
Take for example my recent videos. When I started making weekly videos for my website, I quickly ran up against this invisible feminine wall.
Oh my god, what if I don’t look beautiful, great, perfect and lovely on camera?
What will I do then? I really had to ponder this deeply. It wasn’t an easy answer.
One the one hand I value looking good and having a face that makes the presentation enjoyable and beautiful, kind of the way I enjoy a beautiful painting.
But on the other hand, it takes tremendous time and effort to get yourself ‘picture-perfect’ in terms of camera view. In fact, it takes way more effort than I want to put in.
What to do??
What I decided to do was to strike a balance. I wanted to be one part Raw- and-Real-Me and one part Beautiful-Woman-Me, which is also me but without too much effort.
So the balance between the real-me and the real-beautified-me was a tricky one to find but I feel that I’ve done it. And I’m happy to share my Raw & Real Beauty Secrets with you for the very first time!
Here’s What I Do:
- I put on make-up but not too much,
- I use olive oil because it makes my face shimmer and attract light. An extra bonus is that Italian men love this :>)
- I get myself in an energized and upbeat state which is also part of my feminine radiance.
Things I Let Go Of:
- Wondering if my hair is perfect. The answer is no. It never will be. Imperfection includes showing a little gray hair (eek!) or having a bad hair day.
- Working too hard on the look of it all.
- Anything that takes too long!
So why am I bringing all of this up? Because at least 5 of my wonderful girlfriends mentioned something to me about my appearance in the videos! By the way, not one single guy mentioned anything other than they liked the videos :>)
One girlfriend mentioned my hair roots being a bit gray, another mentioned that I looked a bit fatigued and another said that while she likes my current hair color, she thought it might look better a little lighter!
Ok girls, thank you very much but please back off!
If I took all of your suggestions I would be: neurotic, crazed and obsessed with my looks and never get these videos off the ground!
So while I dearly appreciate your suggestions, your love of beauty and your love of me – I am going to make these videos no matter how I look or feel.
I am committed to making fun, inspiring videos every week even if I have gray hair, feel tired or really should be wearing something else.
I am certain you will still love me, that you’ll love the videos and together we’ll unshackle the feminine who can still be beautiful, power and awe-inspiring even in her pajamas!
Love you gals!!
Risk Or Commit Yourself To a Dull Life!
March 8, 2010
This week I got an email from a most amazing gentleman who is “in the first month of his 90th year” and still going strong.
When I read his CV, I was amazed. He did just about everything that one human being could do for a small town. He was even called the ‘mayor’ for awhile. I was very impressed, not just with his accomplishments, which were many, but even more so with his courage.
This man put himself in the fire over and over again and was called – a lightening rod for controversy. I love that. It means that he had the guts to go against the grain, which is something that we sorely need and is a necessity for change.
When he was telling me his stories, which were totally fascinating, I was amazed at all that he had done and how at age ninety, he is still going strong. Wow, I want to be like that when I grow up!
He told me stories about meeting Charles Lindberg at six years old and flying in his plane, getting into a prestigious business school without taking their tests and an amazing encounter with the Archbishop of Canterbury while traveling in Egypt. He went on and on and I could have listened to him for hours. He is a master storyteller among other things.
He never lost me for a moment, nor did he lose the central point of his conversation even though he took me all over the map. I could see why people had been both fascinated and terrified by him. He is a figure to reckon with. I loved him instantly. In fact if he still lived in our town, I would have invited myself over for tea, but he and his wife now live in Florida.
While we were speaking she was making faces in the background which I’m imagining were like, “You’re not going to keep telling her all of those stories are you dear?” But I told him to tell her that I was fascinated and wanted to hear everything.
The turning point of the conversation came when I told him that I had been considering giving up on writing my column. I had only published one piece when I began to get scared. I was afraid to be in the negative limelight, something that often happens in this town if you dare to speak up. I was wondering why I would want to do this.
What had compelled me to write the column in the first place is my desire to make a difference in the world, especially in this town and it’s been particularly hard to make a difference here. It took me almost 4 years to build enough connection and rapport to get this column started.
So when I told him this, that I was thinking of giving up because I was afraid of the negative limelight he said he said the most amazing thing.
He said, “Annie, it’s your decision and I will support you whatever you do. But if you decide not to do this then commit yourself to a dull life. If you go ahead, yes you will be put on the spot, a hot spot at times but it will be fascinating and challenging.”
WOW!
This blew me away. How could I turn back? If this man whose life and way of living is one I admire is telling me at age ninety that not to risk is to commit myself to a dull life – how could I possibly say no?
If you decide not to risk, then commit yourself to a dull life.
Wow. That turned my world on its head. It has made me think about everything differently.
If you can look back on your life from the vantage point of age ninety and still see that all the pain, the heat, the fire and the risks were worth it – then there is no choice at all to make.
The choice is always to risk.
Today take some risks in unexpected directions. You DON’T want a full life do you?!
Thanks to my new mentor and life guide for this story!
Where Fulfillment Really Comes From, It’s Not Where You Think
February 25, 2010
We spend most of our lives turning in tiny circles, around and around like a dog chasing it’s tail – trying to find happiness, love, peacefulness and most of all fulfillment. So why does it seem to always elude us?
We feel it for a fleeting second and then it is gone. We try to hold onto it but it is more slippery than an underwater eel. It has an elusive quality to it that we just can’t wrap our hands or minds around.
Why is that?
Some say that the world was created this way on purpose. Why is that? It’s kind of like this – if you’re always great at everything, if everything comes to you easily and you never have to work at anything, then life would be totally boring and unfulfilling.
We don’t think it would be. We long for this imagined nirvana in which we never have to work again but honest to God, we’d be dead in two days from complete boredom.
You see our true and lasting fulfillment comes from effort – from going against the grain, pushing against what’s difficult and doing what seems impossible.
Yikes!
That doesn’t match my ‘sit-on-a-sandy-beach-in-the-sun’ idea of fulfillment. That’s not what I had in mind!
But without that effort, life would be too easy and we’d again be bored to tears. We’d say to ourselves, (yawn) – “Oh boy another day of Pina Coladas, sun and surf. Give me some meaty challenge to deal with please!”
Fulfillment comes from doing what we don’t want to do – calling my mother when I’d rather turn off the phone, reaching out to a friend when I would prefer to be lounging on the couch and most important of all – really looking inside and changing from the inside out.
Ok ready for some fun? I’ll go first. Let’s make a list together of our worst attributes. You call that fun? Not yet but just hang in there ok?
My top three are:
- Arrogance – too many lifetimes as a haughty queen.
- Stubborness – my mother found this out when I was only 1 year old.
- Hardheadedness – I always think I’m right. Aren’t I??
So no slouching now. It’s not enough just to sit and stare at my negative traits, that’s not fair. Get out your pen and start jotting your own top 3 -5 .
Here is your secret doorway to fulfillment. Each day start changing those horrible, awful and ugly traits into their higher qualities and voila’ you will see an amazing change. Ok I’ll go first again.
- Arrogant – instead of being above people, I have to weather this discomfort of being the same, being alike and joining in. Eeeek! But once I do that I get the surprising and hidden benefit of love, caring and belonging. See what I mean now?
- Stubborn – instead of always digging my heels in I need to flex, bend and go with the flow. Super hard for me to do but hey I’m out for more in life. When I do this, I get the unexpected fulfillment of peacefulness and happiness.
- Hard headed – I’m not changing this no matter what you say! Just kidding. I have to realize that I am not always right and learn to value others opinions, needs and points of view, even if they’re wrong. Just kidding again, but see how hard this is!
Now let me be honest and say that that I don’t personally want to give up any of these traits. Well I do on a ‘higher level’ but we have to realize that these ‘negative’ traits are actually easy and comfortable for us.
It is much easier to look down on people than to feel the discomfort of being being part of things and being rejected right? Get the idea?
Growth which leads to fulfillment is always uncomfortable!
If it’s easy, it’s not the right path. Now I’m not talking about needless pain or suffering. I’m talking about pushing and exerting in a direction that you know you need to change. Even your mother will agree.
If you don’t believe me, and there is no reason that you should, then try this test. Ask your three best friends and your mother and if you want to amp it up then ask your worst enemy too – say “What are my worst traits that if I changed them, I would be a better person?”
No covering your ears when they reply. That’s cheating too.
Breathe, open your heart, keep your shoulders down, keep your hands loose and smile while you’re listening.
Think to yourself, “Ah this is the best thing that I could possibly hear because it is my ticket to freedom.” Picture all of the love, happiness and fulfillment that is going to come streaming in when you do this.
So this is where fulfillment really lives – under the ugly, the uncomfortable and the not-so-lovable parts of ourselves. They are there for a reason. Let’s go for the gusto and make some change today. Please feel free to report your efforts.
Yours in always seeking for more and more and more,
Annie
Stories From the Next World: I Must Be From Another Planet
February 22, 2010
This is a companion piece to my blog post of last week, “Swimming Against the Tide.”
I must be from another planet. In fact I’m pretty sure that I am. When someone tells me about the right way to do things, I instinctively think, “Oh no, I can’t do that.” Well actually it’s not that I can, but more like I won’t.
You see I’m from another planet and maybe you are too. On my home planet we would never think of doing everything the same as everyone else. Oh no, on our home planet – we like to be unique and original just like our fingerprints.
We visitors from another planet tend to have this go against the grain streak inside of us that makes us stand out from the crowd. And that’s not a good thing. In a world where difference is seen as a threat to survival it’s not easy to be unique and go against the grain.
Years ago when I was in college, I took a ceramics class and one day our teacher announced that we were going to make a set of 6 mugs all alike. Now given what I’ve said above, I want you to imagine just what my response was? Eeek!
I don’t want to make 6 mugs all alike!’ So I had the guts to speak up and ask, “Why would I do that? If I wanted 6 mugs all the same I could just go to a department store and buy them.”
He was pissed! He didn’t like me messing with his idea. People that have the right way to do things rarely do. They get mad when you muss up their nice little formula for life. I didn’t mean to do that. Honestly, it’s not that I wanted to offend him. It’s just that I cannot, simply CAN-KNOT make 6 pieces of art all alike.
It’s not in me.
It’s not in my DNA, not in my bones and my hands won’t allow me to do it. Guaranteed that if I had tried, I would have gotten a horrible rash on my hands or something just to prove that it’s exactly what I should not be doing.
Now I know that people from this planet all like to do things in a certain set way. I understand the logic of that. But it never works for me nonetheless.
So in my ceramics class I actually slipped to the corner of the room and set about making my one, single, original and totally one-of-a-kind mug, while everyone else was making their six in a row.
It wasn’t comfortable to be doing my totally unique thing but it was necessary. Because had I forced myself to make six all alike, I’m pretty sure that I would be in a mental institution today still making mugs all in a row. We from another planet are very sensitive you see.
When I was done the teacher came over. He actually admitted that my lone original mug was pretty cool. Was I imaging it or was he really longing to break out of the mold and create one all his own? I’m pretty sure I felt his longing. We from another planet can feel things like that.
So don’t worry if you don’t feel the same and you definitely don’t fit all in a nice neat row. It’s ok. You’re from another planet and you’re here to make a difference. Or in some cases you’re here to be the difference.
Just breathe and go with the flow. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks. I still have that mug and I love it.
Be one of a kind because that’s what you are anyway – original, unique and just like your fingerprints, all your own.
Yours in always sharing the stories that make you stand out in a crowd,
Annie
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