Risk Or Commit Yourself To a Dull Life!
March 8, 2010
This week I got an email from a most amazing gentleman who is “in the first month of his 90th year” and still going strong. He contacted me because I am starting to write a column for my local paper and he was quite an influential figure here in my town at one time.
When I read his CV, I was amazed. He did just about everything that one human being could do for a small town. He was even called the ‘mayor’ for awhile. I was very impressed, not just with his accomplishments, which were many, but even more so with his courage.
This man put himself in the fire over and over again and was called - a lightening rod for controversy. I love that. It means that he had the guts to go against the grain, which is something that we sorely need and is a necessity for change.
When he was telling me his stories, which were totally fascinating, I was amazed at all that he had done and how at age ninety, he is still going strong. Wow, I want to be like that when I grow up!
He told me stories about meeting Charles Lindberg at six years old and flying in his plane, getting into a prestigious business school without taking their tests and an amazing encounter with the Archbishop of Canterbury while traveling in Egypt. He went on and on and I could have listened to him for hours. He is a master storyteller among other things.
He never lost me for a moment, nor did he lose the central point of his conversation even though he took me all over the map. I could see why people had been both fascinated and terrified by him. He is a figure to reckon with. I loved him instantly. In fact if he still lived in our town, I would have invited myself over for tea, but he and his wife now live in Florida.
While we were speaking she was making faces in the background which I’m imagining were like, “You’re not going to keep telling her all of those stories are you dear?” But I told him to tell her that I was fascinated and wanted to hear everything.
The turning point of the conversation came when I told him that I had been considering giving up on writing my column. I had only published one piece when I began to get scared. I was afraid to be in the negative limelight, something that often happens in this town if you dare to speak up. I was wondering why I would want to do this.
What had compelled me to write the column in the first place is my desire to make a difference in the world, especially in this town and it’s been particularly hard to make a difference here. It took me almost 4 years to build enough connection and rapport to get this column started.
So when I told him this, that I was thinking of giving up because I was afraid of the negative limelight he said he said the most amazing thing.
He said, “Annie, it’s your decision and I will support you whatever you do. But if you decide not to do this then commit yourself to a dull life. If you go ahead, yes you will be put on the spot, a hot spot at times but it will be fascinating and challenging.”
WOW!
This blew me away. How could I turn back? If this man whose life and way of living is one I admire is telling me at age ninety that not to risk is to commit myself to a dull life - how could I possibly say no?
If you decide not to risk, then commit yourself to a dull life.
Wow. That turned my world on its head. It has made me think about everything differently.
If you can look back on your life from the vantage point of age ninety and still see that all the pain, the heat, the fire and the risks were worth it - then there is no choice at all to make.
The choice is always to risk.
Today take some risks in unexpected directions. You DON’T want a full life do you?!
Thanks to my new mentor and life guide for this story!
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Where Fulfillment Really Comes From, It’s Not Where You Think
February 25, 2010
We spend most of our lives turning in tiny circles, around and around like a dog chasing it’s tail - trying to find happiness, love, peacefulness and most of all fulfillment. So why does it seem to always elude us?
We feel it for a fleeting second and then it is gone. We try to hold onto it but it is more slippery than an underwater eel. It has an elusive quality to it that we just can’t wrap our hands or minds around.
Why is that?
Some say that the world was created this way on purpose. Why is that? It’s kind of like this - if you’re always great at everything, if everything comes to you easily and you never have to work at anything, then life would be totally boring and unfulfilling.
We don’t think it would be. We long for this imagined nirvana in which we never have to work again but honest to God, we’d be dead in two days from complete boredom.
You see our true and lasting fulfillment comes from effort - from going against the grain, pushing against what’s difficult and doing what seems impossible.
Yikes!
That doesn’t match my ’sit-on-a-sandy-beach-in-the-sun’ idea of fulfillment. That’s not what I had in mind!
But without that effort, life would be too easy and we’d again be bored to tears. We’d say to ourselves, (yawn) - “Oh boy another day of Pina Coladas, sun and surf. Give me some meaty challenge to deal with please!”
Fulfillment comes from doing what we don’t want to do - calling my mother when I’d rather turn off the phone, reaching out to a friend when I would prefer to be lounging on the couch and most important of all - really looking inside and changing from the inside out.
Ok ready for some fun? I’ll go first. Let’s make a list together of our worst attributes. You call that fun? Not yet but just hang in there ok?
My top three are:
- Arrogance - too many lifetimes as a haughty queen.
- Stubborness - my mother found this out when I was only 1 year old.
- Hardheadedness - I always think I’m right. Aren’t I??
So no slouching now. It’s not enough just to sit and stare at my negative traits, that’s not fair. Get out your pen and start jotting your own top 3 -5 .
Here is your secret doorway to fulfillment. Each day start changing those horrible, awful and ugly traits into their higher qualities and voila’ you will see an amazing change. Ok I’ll go first again.
- Arrogant - instead of being above people, I have to weather this discomfort of being the same, being alike and joining in. Eeeek! But once I do that I get the surprising and hidden benefit of love, caring and belonging. See what I mean now?
- Stubborn - instead of always digging my heels in I need to flex, bend and go with the flow. Super hard for me to do but hey I’m out for more in life. When I do this, I get the unexpected fulfillment of peacefulness and happiness.
- Hard headed - I’m not changing this no matter what you say! Just kidding. I have to realize that I am not always right and learn to value others opinions, needs and points of view, even if they’re wrong. Just kidding again, but see how hard this is!
Now let me be honest and say that that I don’t personally want to give up any of these traits. Well I do on a ‘higher level’ but we have to realize that these ‘negative’ traits are actually easy and comfortable for us.
It is much easier to look down on people than to feel the discomfort of being being part of things and being rejected right? Get the idea?
Growth which leads to fulfillment is always uncomfortable!
If it’s easy, it’s not the right path. Now I’m not talking about needless pain or suffering. I’m talking about pushing and exerting in a direction that you know you need to change. Even your mother will agree.
If you don’t believe me, and there is no reason that you should, then try this test. Ask your three best friends and your mother and if you want to amp it up then ask your worst enemy too - say “What are my worst traits that if I changed them, I would be a better person?”
No covering your ears when they reply. That’s cheating too.
Breathe, open your heart, keep your shoulders down, keep your hands loose and smile while you’re listening.
Think to yourself, “Ah this is the best thing that I could possibly hear because it is my ticket to freedom.” Picture all of the love, happiness and fulfillment that is going to come streaming in when you do this.
So this is where fulfillment really lives - under the ugly, the uncomfortable and the not-so-lovable parts of ourselves. They are there for a reason. Let’s go for the gusto and make some change today. Please feel free to report your efforts.
Yours in always seeking for more and more and more,
Annie
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Stories From the Next World: I Must Be From Another Planet
February 22, 2010
This is a companion piece to my blog post of last week, “Swimming Against the Tide.”
I must be from another planet. In fact I’m pretty sure that I am. When someone tells me about the right way to do things, I instinctively think, “Oh no, I can’t do that.” Well actually it’s not that I can, but more like I won’t.
You see I’m from another planet and maybe you are too. On my home planet we would never think of doing everything the same as everyone else. Oh no, on our home planet - we like to be unique and original just like our fingerprints.
We visitors from another planet tend to have this go against the grain streak inside of us that makes us stand out from the crowd. And that’s not a good thing. In a world where difference is seen as a threat to survival it’s not easy to be unique and go against the grain.
Years ago when I was in college, I took a ceramics class and one day our teacher announced that we were going to make a set of 6 mugs all alike. Now given what I’ve said above, I want you to imagine just what my response was? Eeek!
I don’t want to make 6 mugs all alike!’ So I had the guts to speak up and ask, “Why would I do that? If I wanted 6 mugs all the same I could just go to a department store and buy them.”
He was pissed! He didn’t like me messing with his idea. People that have the right way to do things rarely do. They get mad when you muss up their nice little formula for life. I didn’t mean to do that. Honestly, it’s not that I wanted to offend him. It’s just that I cannot, simply CAN-KNOT make 6 pieces of art all alike.
It’s not in me.
It’s not in my DNA, not in my bones and my hands won’t allow me to do it. Guaranteed that if I had tried, I would have gotten a horrible rash on my hands or something just to prove that it’s exactly what I should not be doing.
Now I know that people from this planet all like to do things in a certain set way. I understand the logic of that. But it never works for me nonetheless.
So in my ceramics class I actually slipped to the corner of the room and set about making my one, single, original and totally one-of-a-kind mug, while everyone else was making their six in a row.
It wasn’t comfortable to be doing my totally unique thing but it was necessary. Because had I forced myself to make six all alike, I’m pretty sure that I would be in a mental institution today still making mugs all in a row. We from another planet are very sensitive you see.
When I was done the teacher came over. He actually admitted that my lone original mug was pretty cool. Was I imaging it or was he really longing to break out of the mold and create one all his own? I’m pretty sure I felt his longing. We from another planet can feel things like that.
So don’t worry if you don’t feel the same and you definitely don’t fit all in a nice neat row. It’s ok. You’re from another planet and you’re here to make a difference. Or in some cases you’re here to be the difference.
Just breathe and go with the flow. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks. I still have that mug and I love it.
Be one of a kind because that’s what you are anyway - original, unique and just like your fingerprints, all your own.
Yours in always sharing the stories that make you stand out in a crowd,
Annie
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42 Day Creative Retreat Process: The Details Revealed
February 21, 2010
Woo-hoo here we go folks. This week for the first time I will be talking about the 42 Day Creative Retreat process live on a Webinar with my wonderful colleague Jeff Simpkins.
Here’s the description:
42 Day Creative Retreat Process: How to go away every day
Date: Wednesday, February 24, 2010 @ 1 pm Eastern
You want to do bigger things in life but sometimes those bigger, more meaningful projects seem impossible to get off the ground. How do you take time out of your busy day to dedicate to the things that really matter to you? More importantly how do you overcome that ever present inner critic that tells you you can’t do it? Join Annie Hart (that’s me), creator and developer of the 42 Day Creative Retreat Process which helped her create a nearly complete body of work in only 42 days.
Now what’s not to love about that folks?
You want to do bigger things in the world and it’s darned hard to get them off the ground right? That’s why I put myself in the ‘desert’ of my own life to find out how to crack the code and I’m bringing it out to the public now for the very first time.
Please join us. Jeff is great - very lively and engaging. He is the one who I tell the funny story about that he turned me on to Bea Fields, the blogging class and the power of Twitter. This is a man with a lot of heart, knowledge and expertise.
He will be hearing about the process for the first time as well. So do be on the edge of your seats to find out all the juicy details!
The Webinar is free but you do need to register. Just click here to do so.
Coming soon, my collaborator Ian Waddelow and I will be launching a 42 Day Retreat pilot group. How fun is that!
So stay tuned for more and as always get out there and change the world!
Annie
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Stories From the Next World: Swimming Against the Tide
February 15, 2010
I must be doing it all wrong. Everyone else is doing it one way and I am doing it the total opposite. I must be a total failure. That’s what I told myself for many years in the area of marketing my business.
Recently I had a conversation with a colleague who is great at marketing, in fact he has a background in corporate sales. He and I have similar training in NLP and Hypnosis and some years ago he went out on his own and created his own business. He’s doing fine but he’s not really thriving. His struggle is to get repeated clients.
But if you ask me (and no one did!), that’s not the real issue. The real issue is that in all he’s doing he is missing a certain level of fulfillment. We all get into the ‘people business’ because we want to help people. Then we are given the dreaded mandate that we need to market ourselves. Eeek! Every creative caring person hates this part.
We didn’t get into business to be in business, we just happened to pick something which required it.
The irony is that even though he is the one with the marketing background and knows all the right ways to do things, I am in fact the one that is thriving. Better than that though is that I am very fulfilled in what I do. The money that keeps me afloat is wonderful but more vital than that is the happiness that I have.
I have nearly total fulfillment in my work. That is the biggest value that my business provides me. I love my clients, love what I do and am working with amazing people from all over the world. How the hell did that happen? Me who didn’t have a clue about marketing myself and never wanted to do it either.
I have been swimming against the tide.
When the experts told me to:
- Have a clear marketing and business plan - I couldn’t.
- Create an exact target market of who I am selling my services to - Uh no, couldn’t do that either. Isn’t it the whole world?
- Get out and network myself with schmaltzy print materials and business cards - Nope, hated that. I went to Starbucks instead.
- Create a one line description of what I do that would totally grab people’s attention in under 10 seconds - Call me old-fashioned but I stuck with regular old human conversation.
- Package my work in a formulaic way that I could sell to businesses - I’d rather have Chinese water torture than do this.
- yada
- yada
- yada
- yada
- yada
Anyway you get the idea. I did it all wrong. I did absolutely everything backwards from what the experts said I should do and much to my surprise - it worked!
Who are these experts anyway? Hmm, good question! Well they are might be people who have tried to find a kind of generic formula so that everyone can win the game. Not a bad idea by any means, many people do succeed this way.
But are they happy? The big question is - can we make money and have personal fulfillment too? The answer is - we must. This is just one of the values of the future - a “we can have it all” paradigm.
In the series that I am writing called, Stories From the Next World, I will be talking about the values of the next world - those values, traits and characteristics of greatness and bravery, that if we embody them now, we will be ahead of our time.
So trait number one is this - swim, swim, swim against the tide little fishes. If the experts tell you to X, Y, Z but you feel in your gut to Q, S and LL then you must. You need to have the courage to swim against the current of the world that says that there is a right way and a wrong way to do things.
Swimming upstream is definitely hazardous. You have to be able to tolerate feeling alone, thinking you’re a failure, have people point out what you’re certainly doing wrong and feeling utterly confused.
But for me I just did it from instinct because I could never tolerate having business ’success’ at the expense of my personal freedom or fulfillment. No go Joe! At the end of the day, I want to be happy AND peaceful.
The world of the future will not be a world of either or - either I am rich or I am happy. The value of the next world is that it has to be both!
Stay tuned for more in the series of Stories From the Next World and please tune in to my weekly Radio 42 Show where I’ll be sharing more of these stories and secrets of the Universe as well. You wouldn’t want to miss those!
Yours in swimming against the tide that was going in the wrong direction anyway,
Annie
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The Miracle of the Creative Retreat Process
January 27, 2010
Today I officially finished my 42 day Creative Retreat and it’s been absolutely fantastic - truly miraculous. I accomplished what I set out to do!
When I started I had only a tiny idea of what I was doing. I wanted to crack the code on why I couldn’t get bigger projects, like writing a book, off the ground. I also wanted to know how you can access inspiration whenever and where ever you need it. I decided to set aside some time and figure this out.
Initially I thought I might only spend 4-8 days over the holidays to do this, but very soon the retreat process took on a life of it’s own.
It’s a common belief that we have to wait on the muses to inspire us, but that’s not very useful when you want to get things done, because the muses don’t tend to ever show up when you need them.
I don’t know about you but there have been times when I have sat down to do a project and nothing comes. All that information that is somewhere inside of me has decided to go off to hide in a cave.
It is damned annoying!
I wondered to myself - is this just a cruel trick of the muses or is there something that we can actually do about it? I had an inkling that there was a way to access it all the time, I just wasn’t sure how.
During the retreat I realized that the realm of inspiration is always there. It doesn’t actually come and go at all. So the question is - how can we access it when we most need to?
Well here’s the good news - I cracked the code! I’ve done what I set out to do. I not only figured out what stops us from doing bigger projects, but I also figured out what to do about it.
Then I used those findings on myself and believe it or not I created an almost complete body of work, in only 42 days! How’s that for amazing?
I also have a wonderful new colleague and collaborator, a well-known consultant in Europe, who is now doing the process as well. Together we will be creating the process and sharing it with others.
Come join us for my brand new radio show this Friday at 11 AM. Radio 42 - the Meaning of Life, the Universe & Everything. We will be discussing the creative retreat process and the amazing things that you can create in only 42 days.
Please join us Friday at 11 AM, EST. You can also download the show later if you can’t be there live. You’re also welcome to share your ideas and suggestions for the show. I am always happy to have you as part of the contribution.
Thanks to all of you for really truly for supporting me so lovingly along the way.
Yours in the creativity and inspiration that changes the world,
Annie
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Wonderful Will’s Wisdom
January 18, 2010
I love this video. Will Smith is a fabulous communicator with a genuine and burning desire to change the world. Plus he’s a local Philly boy. What’s not to love about that!
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Why We Need to Dare to Tell Stories Raw & Real
January 12, 2010
I have several new clients lately that are all seeking to get to the heart of something beautiful raw and real inside of themselves - to be able to tell their stories in an open, honest and vulnerable format.
So you might wonder - why is it so hard?
It honestly is. They are not just making it up. It seems ludicrous in one sense that you actually have to go to someone to help them tell your story. Why can’t you just blurt it out?
What is so hard about it anyway?
But here’s the thing - it actually is hard. These folks coming to me to tell their stories are coming because they are brave human beings. They feel the call deep down inside and they just know that they have to articulate, express or share something with the world and that they need some help, structure or support to do that.
These folks are the smart ones who instinctively know that it is nearly impossible to tell these stories on your own. It is because people in our world don’t really want to hear the truth. If you don’t believe me just try this experiment…
Next time you are somewhere and someone you barely know asks you how you are. Stop. Pause. Look them in the eye and tell them the honest to god, real and vulnerable truth.
“Well now that you asked, actually I’m having a few money problems, my back is a bit aching from too much yoga, my boyfriend just left me and my dog is sick….and….and….and….”
Don’t bother to finish because the sentence because they are are already gone. If they haven’t walked physically away, trust me they’ve gone away inside.
A few months ago when I wrote my Raw & Real Stories about a painful relationship breakup, I actually experienced this. Someone inquired about how I was doing and though I’m not a person that just spills out my personal life to everyone, I started to honestly tell her the truth. I thought she really wanted to know. But as soon as I started, I saw her physically backing up so I stopped.
People aren’t prepared to know the painful truth! Ouch. It brings up the pain in them. So when you craft a story of your own, first you need to get it out raw and real. You need someone to listen to you carefully, not to judge and definitely not to back away no matter what you say.
The message that I need to send people when I listen is - “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere and I won’t back away no matter how hard it gets.” You can do it too.
That is really powerful. Imagine just how life changing that one message can be - I’m here, I’m not going away.
If you remember or read my Raw and Real stories, there was one in which my friend Leslie came running towards me and body hugged me. That was just the message I needed - a big real hug that said, “I’m not going away.”
So that is why people don’t dare to tell their stories raw and real - because they fear that no one will be there when then are done, that everyone will go away because the painful truth is too awful. It’s not.
Today send this message to everyone in your life - I’m here, I’m not going away and I will listen no matter how hard it gets. Story-telling is life changing for this reason. It’s not about entertainment, it’s the deepest form of life change there is.
When we change our stories, we change the world.
Today dare to tell yours raw and real and encourage others to tell theirs too. You’ll notice how much closer you feel, how much more love and vitality is in your life.
Today don’t back away from pain but go right to the juicy heart of what’s real.
Yours in sharing stories that make a difference in the world,
Annie
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Creative Retreat Process: A Structure For Success
January 11, 2010
Wow, believe it or not creativity has a structure that you can access and follow to take yourself to new creative heights. That is what I’m discovering on my Creative Retreat Process. *If you’re just tuning in and you want to read previous posts from the retreat they are listed under “Creative Retreat.”
Back at the beginning of the retreat (25 days ago) when I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. I asked myself the singular question - Why can’t I get my bigger projects off the ground? What gets in the way?
I felt like I needed to crack the code of what was in the way and more importantly to find out what would allow me to access my creative inspiration whenever, wherever and however I wanted to. In other words, I didn’t want to sit there waiting for the fabled muse to arrive. I wanted to be able to access her whenever I needed to. 
I started with a very simple process - a daily practice of writing, jotting down notes and a few other mysterious techniques that I invented on the spot.
I had one simple rule - that I would use everything that came up for creative fodder - bring on the inner critic, bring on the obstacles and challenges. I actually wanted to see, feel and experience what they were so that I could learn to deal with them and create a method that myself and others could follow.
So I am delighted to report that IT IS WORKING - my theory, my hypothesis and my method are all working on me and today I brought on board a creative partner and we are going to begin to share the journey together.
What surprise to find my theory working already. If you remember I’m on retreat for 42 days, so I’m half way there. Half way there and I’m already clearly experiencing the benefits and maybe soon you’ll hear from my partner in fun as well.
Most of all I want to encourage all of you to access the life-giving power of creative retreat in your life. Even if it is only 1/2 hour a day - we really need this energy to revitalize and rejuvenate us to keep going on bigger projects in our life.
Buon viaggio as they say in Italian. I am enjoying the creative journey and look forward to the moment when I will be holding the results in my hand.
Yours in the life that creative energy brings forth,
Annie
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Meta-Morphosis - In Search Of Something Bigger
December 30, 2009
If you’ve been following my blog lately, you know that I am on Creative Retreat, what I am calling my 42 days in the desert.
Today I received several very beautiful comments on my recent blog posts about the creative retreat. These folks really seemed to get it and I wanted to share that with you.
I believe they express it much better than I could because they are looking from the outside and I’m still in the cocoon! So enjoy these beautiful thoughts….
The first from a blogging friend Carrie on Skirt, who said, ” Annie, your recent posts have grabbed my attention! I’m in the same place and to hear it expressed with different words…it’s like what happens when you read a poem. Which, reminds me of the poem Metamorphosis, which begins: “Called beyond the confines of this chrysalis by a force I cannot see or name, I am compelled by pain and something bigger than myself to leave the protection of all that I have known.”
Isn’t that gorgeous? Compelled by pain and something bigger than myself. I love that part. That is exactly it, the pain of staying the same and not doing anything different calls us either into depression or into change. I’m choosing change, exactly because I want more for myself, for others and for the world.
The second from my wonderful fellow Speaker and Storyteller Max Brown wrote, “Annie I love your questions. I love your ability to face fear and publish it for us to experience with you as well. I love your heart and willingness to push for somethign more. I love your desire to push beyond comfort and all the while knowing things will get harder, yet you relish the challenge of it all.”
Bravo Max! That’s it too. The desire to push past the comfort and relish the challenge. Yes, that is saying YES to life!
It is darned easy to be lazy and let change come to you. It is much harder to seek it out and go right into the challenge, knowing that you will find gold. Everyone who wants more out of life needs this kind of challenge.
Last but not least was wonderful Eva Snijders, Coach and Storyteller from Spain with a quote from May Sarton, “It always comes back to the same necessity: go deep enough and there is a bedrock of truth, however hard.”
Exactly! That’s what I’m banking on and I’m also counting on all of you to create great new things in the new year. As I go back down under into quiet retreat for the next few days, I’m thinking of all of you. Continue to send your stories, encouragements, poems and comments.
I know what you are made of. You have great things inside of you wanting to get out and be expressed in the world. I’m here to say - You can do it. We just need to find the quiet, tackle the inner critic (by the way we’re par now) and do what mystics have always done which is go to the desert. And no that’s not dessert!
But please do send chocolates as I will really need them once I come out!
I’m thinking of all of you and the gold that you are made of.
Yours in seeking out the bigger and better in life, Annie
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