It’s Springtime, It’s Time To Talk About Kissing
April 15, 2010
Come on admit it. You feel it in the air. Springtime is a scent-ual time of year and it’s all around us, everywhere. It’s the time of year when I fantasize strolling the Champs Elysees’ in Paris, arm in arm with a romantic Frenchman…
and of course it’s the time of year to talk about kissing!
What makes this time of year so romantic? It’s the leaves, the trees, the colors, the smells and the warmth of it all. It’s the perfect time of year to perfect your kissing techniques, even if you don’t have a partner.
Don’t worry, you can use these same ideas on someone you just met. In fact, I’m heading off to Starbucks later today and I just might try it out then. (just kidding!)
But honestly, the “Art of Kissing” is a fine art and we should learn as much about it as we can. Years ago when I was writing romantic stories, I picked up this book and it is the sweetest book you’ll ever find of the art of kissing. It lists the following kisses to learn:
- The newest fads in French kissing (my Frenchman can teach me these)
- The Hollywood kiss (look out Brad Pitt, I may try it on you)
- The Smacking Kiss (hope I don’t hurt anybody)
- The Wet Kiss (Miss Sweetie’s good at this)
- The Triangle Kiss (my yoga may come in handy here)
- and my favorite kiss of all, the Lip-o-Suction!
and there are many more. You might want to stop reading this blog post right now and run to your nearest bookstore to get this book. How can you possibly wait to learn these kisses? You can’t. You just never know when you’ll need to pull one of these kisses out of your back pocket.
Say for example I am walking down the street and a handsome stranger is walking towards me. There is something fine and European about him – his clothing, his hair and definitely his shoes. You can always tell a European man by his shoes. They are the expensive leather kind.
He comes towards me and softly asks, “Excuse me Miss but can you tell me where a nearby coffee shop is?” His accent knocks you off your feet. Oh those romantic European accents.
You start to tell him that Starbucks is only 2 blocks away, when suddenly your eyes lock. He looks at you with the kind of wonder that people have when they are gazing at a statue by one of the great Italian masters. He sees you in all your beauty. You can feel it in your bones.
Then he says, “Please excuse me but I have this overwhelming urge to kiss you right now. I know we just met but…..this has never happened to me before.” You know what he is saying is true. You can feel it in your bones.
What do you do???
- do you run?
- scream for the police?
- or pull the art of kissing out of your purse and search for the most appropriate kiss for just such a moment???
I recommend number three. Watch this.
You sweetly say, “Oh I am so flattered. I would LOVE to kiss you. Please give me just a moment to freshen my lips.” Then you quickly fan through the “Art of Kissing” to find just right kiss.
You turn the page to the Butterfly Kiss. Ah, that must be the one.
Your trust y
our instincts and lean forward delicately to plant a big fat butterfly kiss right on his perfectly formed lips.
He faints instantly!
The next day you read a the story in the paper about a famous European count who came to visit relatives in Chestnut Hill (where I live) and was struck down by a romantic passionate kiss.
The count was taken to the local hospital but discharged immediately saying, “I have to find that woman!”
Now was all that worth it? The story, the kiss, the romance and the nice write up in the paper? Of course it was. This just goes to show you, that you never know when the fine art of kissing is going to come in handy!
I gotta go now. I’m off to Starbucks. I’m pretty sure my count is waiting for me. I’ll let you know what happens.
What the Mystics Say About Love, for Women
November 30, 2009
Have you ever felt down and out in the realm of love? I know I have. Either you have a partner and it’s just not always up to par. He doesn’t put the toilet seat down, he forgets to buy you flowers, he means well but you just don’t feel as appreciated or as you could.
Or you don’t have a partner at all and you’re wondering if you’re going to dry up and shrivel like a raisin or if you will ever find the love of your life. Sound familiar?
It seems either way we go in the realm of love and relationship, we just don’t feel satisfied. Why is that? Well the mystics say that the feminine essence is about the radiance of love itself. Boy that sounds nice doesn’t it! Why then don’t we feel like love’s radiance most of the time but instead feel like wrung out dishrags or under appreciated figurines that have been left on the shelf for too long? Ah, this is where it is up to us to create the circuitry that we need in order to feel whole.
Most of the time we are conditioned to think about what we’re getting. Where’s my flowers? Where’s my jewelry? Where are my hugs, my love, my everything? Where, where, where? It’s all about me. Now I know that as soon as I say this you are replying, “No all I do is give, give, give.” That may be true.
Many women give as a form of trying to get. I can hear you gasping in horror right now. I know we don’t believe that we are giving to get anything. We like to think it’s unconditional but just watch what happens if you cook an outstanding dinner for someone and no one comments on it. Try wearing a brand new outfit and see what happens if no one notices. You will notice just how quickly the feminine radiance has come to depend on external sources of feedback for her well being.
We plummet instantly right? You just got a new hair cut and how dare he not notice. You made an amazing dinner and he acted like it was a TV dinner. Underneath of our giving, we are often subtly trying (desperately) to receive love. Eek! That blows the cover right off of my nice idea of myself as such a generous, loving person.
I am generous and loving and I know you are too, but just see what could happen in terms of your personal fulfillment if you really sniff underneath most of your giving and realize – darn it all, I am trying to get something!
At first it feels awful to see this and admit it but after awhile it’s actually liberating. Liberating because we don’t have to be reliant on outside sources of love. We can truly give for the pleasure of sharing.
The mystics say that to find personal fulfillment we need to remove the dark outer shell that surrounds the seed of light. That dark outer shell for us women is our endless, incessant need for someone or something to fill and fulfill us. We are an empty vessel expecting others to fill us. This sets us up for nearly constant disappointment.
So today, think about how you can fill the vessel in other way, breathe into your own heart and feel it warm up. Then go out and share and notice if over time you can find more fulfillment and less disappointment. In being the Light of Love that we were meant to be, true fulfillment awaits.
Excuse me I gotta go do the dishes now! I know I know, it’s not glamorous, but maybe just maybe, some light is waiting for me right there in the sink! It’s everywhere. We just need to look.
Alberto and How Stories Warm the Heart
October 21, 2009
Today I shared a story from my life , one that I use story to warm the heart and change perception.
I told the Story about how Alberto and I joke about getting married. I want to be sure that you know that I am not truly desperate enough to run off to Morocco to marry Alberto! I love Alberto but we are not desperate. We are simply using our story to make lightness out of being single at fifty.
On of the ways that I use story is the ability to step into another world and change how you feel and act. This story allows us to create a different reality. Instead of feeling sad or alone, we have a story together in which we feel loved and cared for.
It is a wonderful story that we have used for many years. We laugh about it every time we speak. Sometimes I’m laughing so hard that I feel like my sides will split. This story is like nourishing good food that keeps our hearts happy and healthy.
I got alot of comments today about the story. There were quite a few belly laughs, a few were wondering if I was truly getting married. And my favorite result was that Alberto’s elderly parents laughed like little children. They have known me since I was twenty-five and they know how much I care for Alberto. Alberto has featured in several of my stories because he is a symbol of philos for me,which is defined as ‘brotherly love’ but it is much more than that.
Now for those of you that were really thinking I might be heading off to Morocco to marry – don’t worry. I was frivolous in my youth but I’m not heading in that direction currently. I will let you know when that wonderful day does arrive.
In the meantime I hope this story has shown how stories can help you live happy and healthy inside of realities that warm the heart.
Good News Story: I May Be Getting Married
October 20, 2009
Good news folks, I may be getting married. I know that may seem sudden for those of you who have been reading my blog because only a month ago I was sobbing into my hankie about a painful breakup. So I imagine you’re wondering who this potential groom is and how I met him so quickly?
The answer is that I have known him for over twenty-five years. I met my wonderful Alberto in October of 1984 in Portland, Oregon, while I was studying Italian in college and he was visiting the US with some friends.
Just to clarify, Alberto are not getting married not out of love, but out of, how should I say it – sheer desperation. That sounds reasonable doesn’t it? Too many people get married for love and then when it goes awry, it’s a big mess. Although Alberto and I care for each other,we would not actually choose each other to marry.
But at age 50 we are finally getting smart. We made a pact many years ago, that if we were still single at fifty, we would marry each other. We were only kidding. It sounded funny back then. We never actually believed that either of us would still be single. But here we are. What to do now but follow through right?
I asked him today, “Alberto would you have every thought when we met twenty-five years ago, that we’d still both be single today?” He said, “Annie at least you were married once. I’ve never even done that.” I told him to hurry up and marry someone, so at least he’d have that milestone under his belt.
Now for the practicalities of all of this. For this idea is nothing if not practical. I asked him if I should get ready for the wedding and he said, Si preparati, which means Yes make preparations. So then I asked What kind of dress would you imagine me in – a long one or a short one?
I needed to have a practical sense of what I’ll be wearing. See everything about this is very practical. I want you to notice this because love has always been something that has had a lot of emotion and very little practicality. I want to make sure that you see how much I have grown and how mature I am.
Alberto imagined me in a short dress, very short he said. I did too. Not because that would normally be my style, but because at age fifty, we need to rev things up a bit. I told him that I’d probably wear four inch heels that are so high he’d have to carry me. He said something incomprehensible in Italian about this.
Alberto and I have a great love and respect for each other, but we are not getting married for love or respect. We are desperate and that’s that. We are doing this so we can both sleep at night knowing that we won’t be alone in the world.
Where will we live?, I asked. Anywhere but my town (in Italy) or your town (in the US), he said. Maybe we could go to Morocco (his idea) or Costa Rica (my idea)? We decided that we would live anywhere, but where we are now.
So that’s it folks, I may be having a big adventure in my future. Since I have known Alberto for twenty-five years I’m pretty sure that there won’t be too many surprises. We’re already clear that we can’t actually live together. We’ll just be married, not actually stay in the same house.
Here is a list of Alberto’s worst traits:
1. He’s really stubborn.
2. He’s really hard headed.
3. He’s obstinate.
4. He’s really stubborn. Oh I already said that.
Great thing is they happen to coincide with my worst traits which are:
- I’m really stubborn.
- I’m hard headed.
- I’m obstinate.
- I always know best.
That is why I know we are absolutely the best choice for each other. Or at least in this case, we’re possibly the only choice for each other. Well, like I said, at least we won’t end up alone. We’ve got that covered.
Let me know your vote – should Alberto and I marry or not?
By the way, if you are enjoying reading my stories, and would like to receive them in your email box, click here.
Dating Over Fifty, It’s A Jungle Out There
September 29, 2009
I don’t mean to scare you folks but if you’re single and over fifty - IT’S A JUNGLE OUT THERE!
I’m trying not to be paranoid about it. I’m just trying to be real. Dating is a pretty scary endeavor at this age, let’s face it. Somehow the rules have changed from when I was twenty five and no one let me know about it.
Dating at fifty feels more like buying a used car from one of those tacky car salesmen, than shopping at Tiffany’s. And though I’m not really sure what to do about it, whenever I’m in doubt about anything, I tell stories.
So here is another Raw & Real Story about the realities of dating when you’re over fifty. After reading this, you’ll either be really really happy that you’re already married or you’ll want to join a convent or the priesthood if you’re single.
Just kidding. Keep the hope folks. No matter what we must stay open to love, even if the pickin’s are very slim.
So I was having dinner the other night with my niece Devon, her boyfriend Mitchell and my former brother-in-law Jim. Jim was telling us stories about his adventures in dating or not-dating as the case may be. Jim is filing suit with his doctor for negligence in a medical case and he had to call the office to talk to the receptionist and it seems like somewhere along the way, she developed a big crush on him. 
When he finally met her in person, she happens to weigh over 300 pounds. Now I’m not trying to be a weightist here but that is well outside of the normal range. She also has several children who sound like derelicts and an ex-husband who is a former drug addict? I know it sounds like I’m being very judgemental here but I’m pretty sure you would have been thinking the exact same thing if you’d heard the story. To make matters worse, she texts him every day saying things like “Good morning, I hope you’re having a good day!”
Eeek! I wanted to say, “Run Jim run!” But then I got to thinking about my own experiences with dating and realized that mine haven’t been much better. So who am I to tell him what to do? Besides he can’t really cut off contact with her because he needs her to help him get his medical records. So what is a man to do but just receive those strange text messages and do the best with what life is sending his way? There’s no perfect situation after fifty. If he gets ready to marry her however, I will take a stand. My nieces are at stake at that point.
So what are we to do about this crazy world of dating over fifty? I don’t want to say that the pickins are slim, but they really are. Some might believe that anyone who is left unmarried at this point, has a very good reason for being single.
Part of me believes this and has actual evidence to prove it. But part of me doesn’t want to believe it because my own future is at stake. If I believe that the only cars available at this point are the used ones with damage that’s been painted over, then I’m probably not going very far down the road of life right? And if it really is true, then I might as well just head on over to the nunnery right now.
No I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to give in to fear or cynicism just because all the evidence is pointing in this direction. In fact I’m going to do exactly the opposite and line up some dates for myself right now. So here are my picks for this week. Let me know what you think. Don’t just base your choices on appearance though. Looks are deceiving and both of these men are obviously very charming and dashing. See if you can see deeper than that though. Then go ahead and vote.
Put your votes in now for my date of the week:
Will it be Date #1 the Wholesale Shoe Salesman?
Or Date #2 the Former Mr Italian Universe??
It’s a tough choice isn’t it?
But I’m going to leave the choosing up to you. You tell me who to date and why you picked him and I promise to give you the full story of our date raw and real.
Well let’s review our lessons:
- If you’re married, be grateful
- If you’re single, well….get ready.
I hope you’re enjoying the raw and real stories. This is the way life really is and since somebody ought to tell the truth, it might as well be me.
Yours in story,
Annie
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