I Change People’s Lives
July 26, 2010
life changing
I decided to create a tongue-in-cheek video this week about changing people’s lives. As I’ve been working with my branding manager on creating my new website, he insists that my tag line be:
Annie Hart – Life Changing
I love it but at the same time I realize that it’s nearly impossible to say that you change people’s lives. In my field, everyone says that they change people’s lives so who is going to believe you if you say you do?
Years ago I used to have this dilemma in a different way. Back before the field of coaching existed, I would try to tell people what I did for a living and I would always run up against a wall. I had no idea what to say.
So I would mumble a bit and then finally mutter under my breath, “Um I change people’s lives.” That would stop the person dead in their tracks and they would say, “Really?? How do you do that?” Then the conversation would be quite animated as they found out about my work.
no small task
Changing people’s lives is no small task. It requires humility, perseverance against all odds, knowing when to listen, knowing when to back off and most important of it, it requires knowing who you can help and who you can’t.
So I do change people’s lives and I’m damned proud to be able to say so. After all these years it finally rolls off my tongue without too much of a glitch.
But I don’t take it lightly either. I’ve come by my skills both due to having had amazing mentors and do to the hard knocks of real life. I’ve learned from my own foibles and failures and from worked and didn’t work with my clients.
But the irony is that although I use the tag line, “Life Changing,” it’s really my life that is changed by doing the work that I do. I am the lucky one, to be privy to the tender, raw and real insides of people’s lives and to have the trust that they place so delicately in my hands.
changing lives
I take care to never tromp on their trust or to act in anything less than integrity.
Changing people’s lives is the most beautiful and the hardest task of all, because you have to be real and true to yourself. You have to live by your principles you can’t just talk about and take the easy way out.
It ain’t easy but it’s life changing to change people’s lives. So here I am after all these years telling the truth for the first time. I am Annie Hart and I change people’s lives.
Look for my new website coming in the next few months!
The Beauty of Creating Out of the Mess
July 22, 2010
If you can weather the feeling that you’re going to be a failure, then the journey of creating something new is totally worth it.
This year I’ve had two amazing opportunities thus far to reap the pearls out of seemingly hopeless mess!
The first was in creating Retreat 42, a retreat in daily life. When I set out on my own personal retreat I asked the question, “How can I get bigger projects off the ground?” I was really stuck and I wanted to find out how to break through that.
I didn’t set out to create a program, write or book or do any of the other amazing things that came out of it. I just set out to answer one HUGE question but much to my surprise, out of that mess came a whole host of beautiful creations.
Voila’ out of the mess comes amazing new life. That is if you can weather the discomfort of it all.
So what are the challenges and discomforts of creating out of the mess?
- we hate to feel like a failure and when you’re in a mess it feels like anything but success.
- you feel confused, so you might consider yourself off-track but you’re really not.
- messy times are so darned uncomfortable that we tend to avoid them, therefore very few people know how to support you through the messy times.
- it feels just awful sometimes, kind of like being covered in mud or sludge.
So think of it this way – mess is part of nature and the natural cycle of life. Your garden is a good example.
At the end of the season everything is dying and worn down. It all rots (smells awful) and goes back into the ground where it reemerges as fertile nutrients.
Think lotus rising out of the muddy pond and you will get the feeling of the potential of the messy bogs of your life.
Don’t be afraid of them, don’t back off, don’t believe what anyone 
else tells you.
The messy, boggy, sloggy and muddy side of life is fertile ground. Today enjoy the beauty of the mess. You just might be onto something.
So just remember:
P.S I’m not talking mess in the sense of leaving your dishes undone or your clothes all over the floor!
Will My REAL Life Please Show Up
July 19, 2010
the good life
There I was living in Europe with my gorgeous European (Italian or Spanish) husband, my beautiful children and living the good life. I was always eating delicious food, being totally loved and adored and it was always sunny.
That is in my dreams and fantasies about my life!
But that life has not happened, nor anything even close to it. Yes I have traveled and lived in Europe. Yes I have dated European men, but I am not married, do not have children, do not live in a Tuscan village and do not receive foot rubs every day as in my dreams.
So the question is – when is my REAL life going to show up??
That answer is – it’s not. The life I’m living now is my real life. It’s the life that I never thought I’d be living but it’s exactly the life I’m meant to have. God forbid I should even be grateful for it and not wishing for that fantasy life that I envisioned for so long.
Now I am the first one to believe in dreaming and envisioning things, but in my Peter Pan-ish youth, I didn’t understand the reality factor of these things. We don’t, in my humble opinion, come into this life to ‘manifest our perfect dream life.‘
the perfect dream life
Much to the contrary, we come to grow, be humbled, to be challenged into changing ourselves and ultimately become a better person. This doesn’t necessarily happen by receiving the picture-perfect dream life.
So how do I reconcile those dreams, visions, fantasies and wishes? I don’t. I always live with this idea of an ideal life inside of me but on a regular basis I try to be cognizant of what I actually have.
I am not saying this is easy. I still want my fantasy life. But I would hate to be at the end of my life and realize that I wasted huge chunks of it, waiting for something that was never meant to happen.
What a waste that would be.
Neither do I want to stop dreaming and wishing for a life beyond what I have now. That’s not good either. Our spirit always needs to grow, expand and fly.
I think of it this way – life is made of sugar and salt. Salt is the tougher element, the one that breaks down other elements of nature. Salt is the part of my life that challenges me to grow beyond what I think I need.
Then there is the sweet side of life, the ‘dolce’ in my vita. That is the part of life that is naturally easy and pleasurable. It’s easy to love this side of life, but hard not to hate the other. But all sugar and no salt would be a sickeningly sweet life.
Try to convince me of that when a gorgeous Italian male comes to rub my feet and you’ll see that I’m a liar, but since that’s not going to happen today, I’m going to accept the sugar and the salt and love them both.
salty and sweet life
I do love salty potato chips and I do love chocolate, so if you eat chips and chocolate every day your life will be just peachy. Oops that’s another sweet!
You get the idea. The life we wish for is never going to show up like we see it in our inner movie. Does it mean we should stop dreaming? Absolutely not, but at the same time when we accept the salty, life naturally gets sweeter.
Viva la dolce vita!
Think Small – advice from a mouse
July 6, 2010
think small
In the personal growth field, everyone is always touting us to ‘Think Big.’ But thinking big is overrated. Every now and then it’s a good idea to get low to the ground and think small for a bit. Let’s take the example of a little mouse.
A little mouse, what do I mean?
This week my niece sent me a picture of an adorable little mouse and it made me think about the beauty and benefits of the small side of life. In a world that is all about the gigantic proportions of big cars, mountainous buffet dinners and extra-large coffee drinks, thinking from the small side of life can be very beneficial.
Years ago I had a friend visit me from Italy. He had never been to America before and we took him to dinner. Afterwards he ordered coffee which was served in a a mug. As you know coffee in coffee (which is called caffe) is served in a tiny cup.
He took one look at the mug and shouted, “Madonna e’ una piscina,” which translates to, “My God, it’s a swimming pool.” He was absolutely astounded at the size of everything and he spent his entire vacation eating ‘big sandwiches’ and watching big cars drive by. He had a ball with the large side of American life.
While that was a fun experience for him, most of us need just the opposite. We can benefit from un-giganticizing our thinking. I just made up that word by the way!
So let’s take a look at how mouse-like behaviors might truly benefit us:
open up and trust
Mouse Tip #1 – as a small creature you can easily rest in the palm of someone’s hand. In human parlance this means that it’s good to let down your guard, be soft and open your belly to the world. Let all the burdens slip off your shoulders, open up and trust.
It’s good to rest in the palm of the world sometimes.
slow down and rest
Mouse Tip #2 – as a little mouse you can yawn a lot. In human terms this means that when you allow yourself to live like a little creature you can be in tune with your own natural rhythms. You may find you need a rest, a nap or just a short break. Take time to be like this little mouse and tune in.
It’s good to rest and slow down.
creative challenges
Mouse tip #3 – mice are creative above all else. Just watch how they store seeds, nuts and cheese in their little holes. They show us that you can have fun with life and creatively prepare for anything that life may bring you. You don’t need to be on guard about it, instead look forward to the obstacles and challenges that might come your way. It’s good to be prepared to roll creatively with life.
Be creative with life’s challenges and look forward to whatever life has to bring you.
So what do you think? Might it not be time to slow down, take some time to rest in the palm of the world and be prepared for the life to come?
Thanks to my niece Meredith and I hope you’ve enjoyed my little mouse story. I encourage you to think small and enjoy the benefits.
The Single Greatest Change You Can Make
July 5, 2010
ready for change
Ready for a leap in self development? Ok here it is. Make a list of your top ten worst traits. That’s right, stop and do that right now.
Now sit that list right in front of you. You should feel a cringe inside your gut like, “Oh jeez I wish that wasn’t me.” If you feel that, then you’ve got the right list.
If you feel like, “Oh that’s not so bad,” then you faked yourself out the first time and you need to write it over. This time write the REAL list. The one you don’t want anybody to know about.
Now that you’ve got the real list let’s begin. With the list straight in front of you picture yourself at 80 years old. Imagine all those traits on the list as getting stronger, firmer, less yielding and more set in stone, like granite. Ok really picture yourself at 80 with those traits having hardened into being who you are today.
EEEEKKK!
If you feel that eeek! then we’re on the right track. This means that those traits are exactly who you never want to become right? If you want to amp up this exercise, go back and list the top five worst traits of someone whom you judge a lot.
Again add them to your set-in-stone 80-year old personality and you’ve got all the makings for a big change coming on right now! Ready?
time for change
All you have to do is to take seriously the fact that if we are not pushing ourselves to change then we’re not changing.
I have watched every one of my older relatives, friends, colleagues become less kind, less loving and more unyielding as they’ve aged. It’s a shocking conclusion about life that no one ever tells us about and and I’m not sure why not.
Our negative traits are like weeds that grow and take over if we don’t pull them out.
I watched my favorite aunt become nasty and brittle in her old age, a former boyfriend who instead of became self-centered and inward and I notice myself that if I’m not careful I wake up in the mornings like a grumpy old lady.
EEEK AGAIN!
We must run away from these traits and constantly keep that negative image of our 80 year-old selves right in front of us. Is this negative conditioning? Yes it is. But in this case, if we don’t keep an image of what we don’t want right in front of us, we will slide downhill right towards it.
I’m not sure why but it seems a fact of human destiny, that if we don’t change on purpose, we tend to deteriorate in body, mind and spirit as we age. We’re not just getting older, we’re getting more crochety! But we don’t have to.
The negative image in this case is really a positive way of heading towards what we really want. Because the cool thing is that when work against our default nature, we actually reveal our real and beautiful selves.
The diamond is right underneath the crud. So get digging.
Don’t be afraid to dig out your absolute worst traits and keep them in mind everyday as you go about your life. With each nasty part of yourself that you undo, you shed just a little more light on the world.
Mine for today was to wake up out of grumpy and into gratitude. Ah, what a beautiful day and how blessed my life is. How about you?
Life is a Dangerous Adventure
June 29, 2010
courage
Life is a dangerous adventure and we should live it with gusto. But too often we live as if life was meant to make us comfortable or to give us everything we need. Then we act shocked and outraged when ‘things go wrong.’
Things aren’t going wrong. It’s just life.
When life is a dangerous adventure then you actively seek out the un-comfort-able zone. You put yourself on the edge of your awareness, always eager for growth, change and the next step into the impossible.
In the comfort zone you basically stay in the sleep zone of life and while you feel good on one level, you terrible on another because some part of you knows deep down that you were meant for more.
Does life as a dangerous adventure mean that you need to become like Evil Knievel and jump over cars? No. That is called daring and is good for those high wire folks, but it is not what I’m talking about.
Unlike heroic acts of courage in exceptional circumstances, it’s about developing the inner courage that enables us to lead authentic and fulfilling lives on a day-to-day basis. This is the courage to embrace the unknown in spite of our fears.
I’m talking about embracing life. Seeing it as it really is rather than the way we’ve been conditioned to believe it is. This would include:
- not being shocked when things don’t go your way
- seeking out the things that are good for your growth but make you uncomfortable
- helping others to do the same
- enjoying it all!
Ah that’s life in the no-comfort zone – risky, juicy and full of….welll life!
As Osho says, “Whenever we are faced with uncertainty and change in our lives, it is actually a cause for celebration. Instead of trying to hang on to the familiar and the known, we can learn to enjoy these situations as opportunities for adventure and for deepening our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.”
Don’t call it uncertainty, call it wonder
Don’t call it insecurity, call it freedom
When we feel more insecurity and more danger the only way to respond to it is with awareness. There are only two possibilities, either you close your eyes and become like an ostrich or you wake up to the life that is waiting all around you.
Life is not a mechanical process. Life is a mystery. Nobody knows what is going to happen in the next moment. If everything is known then we are just robots sleepwalking through life.
So if you’re looking for your next dangerous adventures, don’t just make it a bungy-jumping trip to Cancun, make it your whole life.
Viva la vida peligrosa!
I’d enjoy hearing from you and if you’d like to listen to my Radio Show on the same topic, I’ll have lots of fun stories and tips for you there too!
What Story Are You Living In?
June 4, 2010
oh jeez, not this again!
What are the things that keep happening in your life that you think, “Oh jeez why is this happening again?”
Think about it.
These are the story you are living in. This is a bit tricky though because the story we are living is feels just like life itself. But it’s not.
You have no idea you’re living inside of a movie that you can change. But you can.
Like a fish in a fishbowl, we don’t even recognize the story we are living in – a life story that is a paradigm composed of your beliefs, feelings and view of the world.
Whew, that’s big stuff!
Yep the life story is an important one to see but it can be very difficult to discern it. Imagine a fish looking out through the glass of the fishbowl. It doesn’t even see the glass right?
fishy story
No, it doesn’t. And thus it’s nearly impossible for us to see our own life story, even thought it’s wrapped all around us all the time. We just think that it’s the way things are.
But think about this – if that’s just the way things are, why don’t those same exact things keep happening to someone else? Hmm, that’s a good question.
Maybe it’s because those life stories are not part of that other person’s movie. They are just part of ours. Makes you think doesn’t it?
So how do you find out what fishbowl you’re living in? Well let’s take a look from the outside.
Ask yourself these three questions:
- what kinds of experiences do I keep repeating that I think that’s just the way life is?
- what theme do I complain about a lot?
- what area of my life do I consistently wish was different?
These questions can be clues into the fishbowl that you’re living in. Another experiment, a little more risky, is to actually ask the people in your life what they think your story line is.
peer into the fishbowl
I’m talking about the pitiful one though, not the storyline that makes you look amazing. I did this with my sister once and it was actually very life-changing but you’ve got to be ready to have others peering into your fishbowl.
You’re not looking for nice compliments, you’re looking for what can change how you live. You want to detect the story is that you’re living that you don’t even think is a story!
Get the idea? Try it out and see what can change.
Only fish need to live in fishbowls. And as far as I know, we’re not fish anymore. We’re the directors and creators of our own stories.
My Fabulous Fifties Fitness Challenge
May 30, 2010
groovy green pants
Oh no! After the third pair of pants that is too tight, I had to admit that I’ve gained some weight. Eeek!
This is the first time in my entire life, other than when I went to Italy for a summer, that I have ever gained weight. It came as quite a shock. Me who has been tiny and svelte all my life now has a (dare I say it?) – a little paunch.
Double eeek!
This is fine for other folks. Most people seem to have at least one paunch around their belt line, but it’s not ok for me. I am not a fitness fantatic, nor obsessive about my weight or my body, but I am heeding the call that my body is delivering to me.
What it is saying loud and clear is: Annie it’s time for your over fifties fitness challenge.
I could try to ignore it, but I don’t like that my three favorite pairs of pants don’t fit. At first I thought they had just shrunk, which they did, but on pair number three I suddenly realized the truth.
Pair number three is not cotton and thus they can’t shrink. As I tried to button the top button, I horrifyingly had to admit that something had changed and it is my waistline.
yummy green smoothie
The reason I was so immune to this fact is that I have a nearly perfect diet. For years I’ve had only fruit and green smoothies for breakfast, mostly salads and grains for lunch and veggies for dinner.
I have a way of eating that I’ve honed over many years and is both pleasing and works for my body. I’ve been naturally slim all of my life, but the reality is that over fifty something definitely changes in the inner metabolism bank.
Those little metaborators (the creatures that metabolize your food) just aren’t chewing up the calories like they used to be. I guess they’re tired and if I’m honest so am I. I’m not nearly as active as I used to be (sigh).
So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m signing up for three entire months of fitness classes at the personal fitness studio nearby.
Thank God it is only 3 doors down from my house. I can imagine rolling of bed and getting my body pumping even when I don’t want to. And I’m pretty sure that, at least in the beginning, there will be many times when I don’t want to!
Let’s be realistic here.
Taking on a new fitness routine is no easy deal, especially for that old lizard brain who’s gotten himself comfortable in his routine. His idea of a good time is not pumping iron or having someone shout instructions at you while you’re sweating.
He likes the couch
Mr. Lizard likes to read, knit and sit on the couch. I’m going to have to wake him up and get him to the studio whether he likes it or not.
But that’s cool. I am prepared to hate it, want to give up, be embarrassed, want to slink out the back door or wish I had never signed up.
But I’m going for it anyway.
My sister who is a marathoner and supremely fit is gonna help me. She’s going to keep me going and get me jogging as well.
After the summer, I hope to be in a routine that will let this be my fabulous fitness for life. I’m up for the challenge. I want to grow and change and take myself to the next level.
I hate the idea of going downhill as we get older. I only want to get better. I’ve been lucky all these years, naturally thin and at ease with myself, I never had to diet or work out in an overly vigorous way. But now it’s time for the push.
That’s it Mr. Lizard time to get off the couch!
I’ll let you know how I do. If I end up slinking out the back or giving up entirely, I’ll just delete these blog posts and pretend I never started! Just kidding.
There’s no back door escape, only going forward.
It’s Time to Wake Up About Food
May 10, 2010
It’s to wake up and take a look at the good ole’ American diet. When I say diet, I don’t mean to go on a diet. I think this is one of the worst practices in the human condition. The brain does not do well when it thinks it needs to starved or deprived.
But as Americans we have some of the worst eating habits of anywhere in the world. Honestly it’s scary! I’m not even talking about the fast food or the junk food. I’m talking about our belief that chemicalized versions of food are anything but poison.
Sorry to say it but they are and sadly I believe our big-bucks food industry has us convinced that these imitations of life are the real thing. They are not. Take margarine for example. In no other country does anyone eat margarine! Well maybe now they do, but only because they’ve followed our bad example.
Margarine is not a real food. Butter is. But oh my gosh we’ve been innundated to believe that butter is the absolute worst thing for you in the world.
Yet ironically people in other countries are generally far healthier than we are and they eat butter and lots of other things we’ve been told not to eat. But they have less heart disease and much less obesity.
Why is that?
It’s the way our foods are made that matters most. In my twenty years of studying food and how to get healthy – the single biggest factor of influence is eating foods that are as close to nature as possible.
That’s why butter IS better than margarine, but not if the cows are injected with hormones and kept in pens. See that’s where it gets tricky. That’s not nature.
Studies show that butter and yes even red meat, grown organically and raised freely are closer to what mother nature intended for us. Again it sounds strange but take a look around the world and you’ll see what I mean.
There’s a great book called, Nourishing Traditions that really opened my eyes about food. What they discovered from studying other cultures is that they ate many of the foods that we’ve been taught not to eat and yet they live very long live with little illness and almost no dental disease.
One example of a 
healthy culture is the healthy Hunza people of the Himalayas who often live well into the hundreds. Here’s a quote:
It is believed that among these people centenarians are a common occurrence, and that it is not unusual for elderly persons to reach the venerable age of 130. It has even been reported that a significant number have survived to the incredible age of 145!
I want to be like them!
It is how the food is raised that matters most. This was a shocking but life-changing revelation that changed the way I thought about food.
Many other wonderful books followed. I originally started reading this material because I got very sick and I really couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. It was nothing traditional.
What I discovered was so shocking but so wonderful because it changed my life. I found out that it’s the foods we eat that make the most difference in our health.
I never knew that! Why not?? How is it possible that this most important information was hidden from me and everyone else?
Because like pharmaceuticals, food is a giant industry controlled by massive corporations who you can guess, are more interested in profit than in health.
Another wonderful book was written by Jordan Rubin who totally reversed crones disease which is considered impossible to cure. But did cure it and created a diet revolution. His book is great too it’s called, “The Makers Diet.” All of this turned my head around and I’ve been eating ‘off the grid’ for many years and am very happy and healthy.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to try to convert you to anything! It’s really up to you how you eat. But I realized that people might not know these simple facts about food and how easy it can be to get and stay healthy through what you eat.
In future blog posts, I’m going to talk about some of the wonderful things I eat that keep me happy, healthy, gorgeous and vitalized. I snuck the word gorgeous in there to see if you were paying attention!
In general keep it as close to the ground and as true to nature as possible. You are what you eat so they say and it’s really true.
A Change For Your Brain – The Story of the Glowing Orb
May 5, 2010
Take a moment to think of a problem.
Nothing too large, not the biggest issue of your life, just something that just bugs you and won’t go away. Take a minute now to think of that…..
Got it??
Now focus on this beautiful glowing orb and ask yourself, “What does this beautiful orb have to do with my problem?”
Don’t try to make sense of this. Just take the first thought that comes. Take a moment now….
Got it??
Now take a moment to think about what you really want instead? What do you really want, other than this problem? Take a moment now to think about what you want…..
Now focus on this image:
Got it?
Now ask yourself, “What have I been doing to get in the way of resolving this problem?”
Focus on this image:
Got it??
Now for the last question. Ask yourself - “What answer can pop into mind out of nowhere that can help me resolve this problem?”
Before you look at the last imagine, take a nice deep breath and really let go. Let go of it all and open your mind as if there was a trap door in your head.
Before you look at the image, know that you may not get an answer right away. It may take anywhere from 24-48 hours for something to bubble up. So just ask the question, let go and breathe. Then look at the image.
Ready???? Go!
That’s it. Now just forget about everything I’ve said – this story, your problem and anything else you thought about. Forget about it all and go back to whatever you were doing before you read this blog post.
But before you go – just be aware of any glowing orbs that come into your awareness in the next 24-48 hours. Just be aware and report to me any results.
I’d love to hear from you! You can email me at: annie@anniehart.com.
Hope you’ve enjoyed the little glowing orb story – a nice change for your brain!
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