Risk Or Commit Yourself To a Dull Life!
March 8, 2010
This week I got an email from a most amazing gentleman who is “in the first month of his 90th year” and still going strong. He contacted me because I am starting to write a column for my local paper and he was quite an influential figure here in my town at one time.
When I read his CV, I was amazed. He did just about everything that one human being could do for a small town. He was even called the ‘mayor’ for awhile. I was very impressed, not just with his accomplishments, which were many, but even more so with his courage.
This man put himself in the fire over and over again and was called - a lightening rod for controversy. I love that. It means that he had the guts to go against the grain, which is something that we sorely need and is a necessity for change.
When he was telling me his stories, which were totally fascinating, I was amazed at all that he had done and how at age ninety, he is still going strong. Wow, I want to be like that when I grow up!
He told me stories about meeting Charles Lindberg at six years old and flying in his plane, getting into a prestigious business school without taking their tests and an amazing encounter with the Archbishop of Canterbury while traveling in Egypt. He went on and on and I could have listened to him for hours. He is a master storyteller among other things.
He never lost me for a moment, nor did he lose the central point of his conversation even though he took me all over the map. I could see why people had been both fascinated and terrified by him. He is a figure to reckon with. I loved him instantly. In fact if he still lived in our town, I would have invited myself over for tea, but he and his wife now live in Florida.
While we were speaking she was making faces in the background which I’m imagining were like, “You’re not going to keep telling her all of those stories are you dear?” But I told him to tell her that I was fascinated and wanted to hear everything.
The turning point of the conversation came when I told him that I had been considering giving up on writing my column. I had only published one piece when I began to get scared. I was afraid to be in the negative limelight, something that often happens in this town if you dare to speak up. I was wondering why I would want to do this.
What had compelled me to write the column in the first place is my desire to make a difference in the world, especially in this town and it’s been particularly hard to make a difference here. It took me almost 4 years to build enough connection and rapport to get this column started.
So when I told him this, that I was thinking of giving up because I was afraid of the negative limelight he said he said the most amazing thing.
He said, “Annie, it’s your decision and I will support you whatever you do. But if you decide not to do this then commit yourself to a dull life. If you go ahead, yes you will be put on the spot, a hot spot at times but it will be fascinating and challenging.”
WOW!
This blew me away. How could I turn back? If this man whose life and way of living is one I admire is telling me at age ninety that not to risk is to commit myself to a dull life - how could I possibly say no?
If you decide not to risk, then commit yourself to a dull life.
Wow. That turned my world on its head. It has made me think about everything differently.
If you can look back on your life from the vantage point of age ninety and still see that all the pain, the heat, the fire and the risks were worth it - then there is no choice at all to make.
The choice is always to risk.
Today take some risks in unexpected directions. You DON’T want a full life do you?!
Thanks to my new mentor and life guide for this story!
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Corey’s Story Adventure, 7
June 21, 2009
A dear friend and Storytelling mentor of mine says that, “Storytelling is a Dangerous Adventure!”
I agree. It’s kind of like falling into another world. You never really know what you’re going to discover or where you’re going to end up.
That’s how it’s been for Corey and I. I had no idea and neither did he that we would end up in this story. I knew even less about it than he did.
But that is what makes this path fun, exciting and a little bit scary, at least to walk it alone. Corey and I have in common several big things. One of them is that we have both dedicated our lives to accompanying people on story journeys. I feel very fortunate to have a creative adventurer like Corey trust me with his story.
If you ask me, it’s turning out really good….even great. I love where it is going and today I actually got up and hugged him while he was performing. It just got me! I was imagining myself as a real audience member and I could totally feel the power of it.
He looked kind of surprised but happy. I think he’s too in it, it’s still too personal to him from the inside for him to have the perspective that I have. But the video helps. My little Flip camera is amazing! I love her! (it’s a she).
It’s been ALOT of work! I’m tuckered out. We have covered an immense amount of ground in only 2 days! I’m not sure if Corey knows that yet. Again he’s too deep in. That’s ok. I’m holding the picture for us both for now.
This afternoon we storyboarded it out and I think he’s seeing the bigger picture now. It’s so fun working with a trained actor because he can do so many things easily with his voice and his body. I was a little worried that I’d have to ‘untrain’ the actor out of him to bring out the storyteller, but we’re working that out really easily. He’s got a great combo in this story of real person and actor. I think it works.
I already want to be sitting in an audience one day soon watching this. Keep your fingers crossed folks that we’ve done it. That we’ve created enough of a story structure that Corey can go home and bring it to life.
We’re not finished yet but I do believe we’ve crossed the great divide! Whew! And besides last night we had Turkish coffee - delicious. What could be better than that.
Last night, we’re going out to celebrate.
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Corey’s Story Adventure, 6
June 21, 2009
From Corey:
Let me start with a Holy Shit. I love it when a plan comes together. I had NO idea what would happen when I flew out to Philly to work with Annie Hart, I just trusted that it was the right thing to do. Today, with Annie’s help, I unlocked a part of myself that had been hiding away, stewing in the juices of his own pain for more than four years now; a crippled part of my former self.
Let’s go back a step. When I was in LA and working in commercials and TV, I was the only one of my friends who didn’t have a day job much of the time. Acting was paying my bills. I was working for a few days a year, auditioning on average once a day and was making a full time salary. Most people would kill to be in that position. And yet I felt lost. I was not emotionally fulfilled. I had not moved out to LA to become a commercial superstar, or play bit roles on TV shows.
Feeling like my so-called success was also an extension of the dreams of my friends and family, I did not feel able to tell them I was miserable. Instead, I slowly fell into smoking pot. Every day. Five to ten times a day. If I was awake I was high. Why?
I had spent nearly ten years working to create. Acting, directing, producing. When I was not working as an actor, I was making movies. The Boy Scout, Gretchen Brettschneider, Unsuitable, Redirect. All of these labors of love. Each taking complete devotion of for a year or more of my life. All of them successes, but all of them failures. Yet I picked myself up after each major lesson learned and dared to dream again.
I was mastering the creative process. I knew how to create cinematic experiences that moved people to laugh, to cry and everything in between…and yet…Hollywood was not coming to me. Despite having been the star of one of the funniest commercials ever created, the big film directors were not coming to my door to ask me to be in their next comedy. Heck, after winning every commercial award, even commercial directors were not banging my door down. Reality was hitting and it was hitting hard. There was another side to all this. The business. And here I had been operating under a misconception for nearly a decade, believing that if I concentrated on my craft everything else would fall into place. I was wrong, and the reality leveled me. I was suddenly faced with the probability that I needed another 10 years to master the business aspect of the industry and I was tired. I was so tired.
I suddenly found myself unable to get out of bed. I woke up, got high and pretended I was happy as I stared at the wall. I went to my auditions, feeling angry every time. I felt alone. I felt betrayed. I was throwing a tantrum and hoping the world would conform to me.
At the first opportunity (though I fought it at the time) I left LA when I got married, to live with my new wife. Only in looking back now can I understand the depression and the need to escape that lifestyle. But what I cannot forget is the loneliness. As I suffered, I suffered in silence. I was the golden boy. How dare I not be happy.
But something happened. The dreamer in me waited by the bed…every day. And the crippled part of me eventually healed enough and was coaxed to try again. I woke up, three years later, a businessman. I took on the challenge that I had refused to undertake in my moments of childlike stubbornness in LA. I mastered the art of the legalities and financial responsibilities of a business owner.
What I am finding most interesting about myself and my business, is that I subconsciously chose to be the caregiver for others who were trying to create. I was alone, feeling like no one believed in me when I was at my worst, and my goal with my work is to always be there for my clients, knowing that it’s going to get tough. The creative process has to get tough in order for something brilliant to be come alive.
When they are afraid, I am there. When they are depressed I am there. When they are victorious I am there. I have become what I missed most myself, a champion of the creative who dares to dream, one who dares to fail and pick himself up again. I am a partner, friend, confidante, caregiver, director and producer of their dreams. I am the believer. I see their potential, challenge them to exceed it, celebrate with them when they do, and sit with them when the outcomes are tough to swallow.
There was nothing exceptional about my personal transformation. It was not unique. Everyone is faced with harsh realities. It’s called growing up. But, while many people choose to go to sleep for the rest of their lives when faced with such adversity, I dared to dream again. To take all of my lessons and stand and fight again. It is that determination I hope to awaken people to with this new presentation.
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Corey’s Story Adventure, 5
June 21, 2009
From Corey:
What an immense morning we had. IMMENSE! I met Annie at 7am and we immediately walked to the most charming little coffee house where we grabbed our deliciousness of choice and then sauntered upstairs to a private area next to where they actually store all of their massive bags of beans. Very cool. We sat down and immediately got to work.
Annie asked me questions, wrote down my responses in her “play” book and videotaped some of my stories. We opened up the artistic aspect of my life - what I have learned as a performer and pulled out delightful surprises that I have taken for granted such as 
truth, curiousness and rhythm of language, which I demonstrated by getting up and showing Annie an old exercise I learned in Shakespeare class.
Soon, we were off to breakfast and we chose a simple little place with simple dishes. I had an omelet and Annie had a cup of fruit. Again, we continued our discussions but were soon off to Annie’s place where I met Miss Sweetie, her adorable little miniature dachshund. 
Now this picture is misleading. Miss Sweetie is 10 pounds of tininess. She immediately became my best bud. In fact, later, when Annie did some light hypnosis on me, Miss Sweetie was curled up in my lap (a-do-rable!)
But before I was placed into a trance, we sat at the table and I brought out my drawing pad and started to create my map. It has a heart at the center that said, “Who I am” and then four quadrants thus far: Performer, Businessman, Director, Producer.
We talked out some more of my thoughts into the video camera and then she put me up on my feet to tell snippets of stories to see if I could easily morph into each facet of myself. That was easy and fun.
Then it was time to deal with my inner demon. We discussed that I felt I had only 10% of myself that thought myself powerful, confident and worthy of telling my stories. The other 90% was terrified that I had no credibility. Annie had an idea to lure him out so we could understand him.
So there I am in a big cushy chair with Miss Sweetie in my lap. Annie turned on a musical tone of sorts and sat next to me leading me through a hypnotic exercise. It was incredibly relaxing and I found myself following her voice and making new discoveries. My left hand was this 90% - the doubter. my right was the believer — the role I play in working with all of my clients. My left hand was raised, but anchored, heavy. My right was free, flexible. Over a period of about ten minutes Annie helped me to drop my left hand and release his hold, while floating my right hand up to the sky. Then the most powerful thing happened. She had the 10% of me, the believer visit the doubter. He was ill, crippled even in a bed in Los Angeles. He had been beaten up so badly, over and over again and now he could not walk. Rejection had maimed him.
Annie led me through a series of exercises where me as the believer visited and nurtured me as the doubter. Stuck with him while he expressed his anger. Visited and let him be defeated. Brought him soup on days when he could not raise his eyes from the wall. And a miraculous thing happened. My doubter took a few sips of the soup. On another day he cracked a smile.
Annie challenged me not to shut out my doubter, but to embrace him for a very important reason: he carries my gift. He’s the vulnerable one. He is the side of me with truth to share.
And so it is my role as the believer to protect him. To carry a bat in his defense so that he can feel comfortable venturing out of that room again. So that they can eventually walk around as partners and take responsibility for making a difference in this world. 
We nourished both my believer and my doubter over a delightful lunch where I tried Ginger Brew, Ginger ale for the first time.
And now I am back at my hotel room after a nap, ready to meet again for an evening of play.
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Corey’s Story Adventure, Part 2
June 18, 2009
The Structure of a Story Breakthrough
a breakthrough is a leap
A breakthrough is basically a leap from one place to another. You might feel stuck, or you might just want to grow, or both. And often you need some help getting across the divide.
So Corey used his creative intelligence to find himself a guide to a new place. This is a very smart strategy for success. Good going Corey! And lucky me that I’m the guide.
Whenever I guarantee my work, people ask me, “What do you guarantee?” Interesting question. What I guarantee is the change that the person will have. I do very careful prep work to know if it’s a change that is possible, both for them and for my work with them. Ususally it is. Then we create a careful structure for setting a clear outcome and evidence of how that goal will be met. This brilliant and highly successful structure comes from my background in NLP. The change feels like magic but it’s actually a predictable science. I love that!
So I thought you might enjoy hearing about Corey’s breakthrough structure. Funny thing is that I already had this idea for a post this morning and when I checked my email, Corey had sent me the exact idea! Aren’t we just on the same wavelength here! So here it goes:
Corey’s Story Adventure Breakthrough
Goal: Crafting An Emotional Journey
To be able to craft an emotional story journey which drives unexpected ephiphanies. The main goal of the Breakthrough is to walk away with a ready to go 45 minute story-based keynote that I can start implementing quickly. I want to have the actual 45 minute presentation up and running and be comfortable putting it up on its feet. I want a presentation that is inspiring and worthwhile for people. I want to be able to set it up (structure) and deliver it. (Annie added) and to do it using your potential at the next level of your capability.
Obstacles:
Lack of structure, content and objectivity. ‘Laziness and procrastination’ which means that when it’s my own stuff I tend to procrastinate and when I do that and lack the long term planning then I end up feeling like I’ve done less than my potential.
Internal obstacle: I have a certain nervousness - I have trouble believing in the value of telling my own stories.
Resources:
I need a playmate and a system of accountability and structure. I’m great at being creative and playing. I’m an extrovert and I don’t plan. I just show up and play and when I have a playmate, we can set up a system of accountability so that I can just show up and be creative. I also need someone to ask the questions that pull out my stories. I need someone who can match me creatively and draw it out of me. Another resource is that I know that I have charisma so this can be used in this area with the right structure.
Possible Goal #2:
To be able to motivate people to buy the books that I bring to talks etc. Because the books may either be by other author’s or they may be different than the content I am sharing, it’s not natural that people go to buy them. So how to tap that motivation for them to want to buy.
Evidence of the Breakthrough:
- I will have the enthusiasm to practice
- To be willing to be vulnerable and possibly practice in front of people I know
- To practice small pieces unknowingly on participants
- Trying out small pieces of it
- A willingness to set up a speaking engagement right away, paid or unpaid!
Other Notes:
To walk away being able to deliver this and generate revenue. I don’t want to go back home and fall asleep again. I want the learning tied to an experience so it stays memorable. *Annie assures you that she’ll keep you awake for as long as you need! :>)
Annie’s Personal Note: I absolutely know in advance that you will have an amazing experience and that I’m really the lucky one to guide you there!
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