Something is Seriously Screwed Up in Love, Help is on the Way!
June 10, 2010
Good News Story: I May Be Getting Married
October 20, 2009
Good news folks, I may be getting married. I know that may seem sudden for those of you who have been reading my blog because only a month ago I was sobbing into my hankie about a painful breakup. So I imagine you’re wondering who this potential groom is and how I met him so quickly?
The answer is that I have known him for over twenty-five years. I met my wonderful Alberto in October of 1984 in Portland, Oregon, while I was studying Italian in college and he was visiting the US with some friends.
Just to clarify, Alberto are not getting married not out of love, but out of, how should I say it – sheer desperation. That sounds reasonable doesn’t it? Too many people get married for love and then when it goes awry, it’s a big mess. Although Alberto and I care for each other,we would not actually choose each other to marry.
But at age 50 we are finally getting smart. We made a pact many years ago, that if we were still single at fifty, we would marry each other. We were only kidding. It sounded funny back then. We never actually believed that either of us would still be single. But here we are. What to do now but follow through right?
I asked him today, “Alberto would you have every thought when we met twenty-five years ago, that we’d still both be single today?” He said, “Annie at least you were married once. I’ve never even done that.” I told him to hurry up and marry someone, so at least he’d have that milestone under his belt.
Now for the practicalities of all of this. For this idea is nothing if not practical. I asked him if I should get ready for the wedding and he said, Si preparati, which means Yes make preparations. So then I asked What kind of dress would you imagine me in – a long one or a short one?
I needed to have a practical sense of what I’ll be wearing. See everything about this is very practical. I want you to notice this because love has always been something that has had a lot of emotion and very little practicality. I want to make sure that you see how much I have grown and how mature I am.
Alberto imagined me in a short dress, very short he said. I did too. Not because that would normally be my style, but because at age fifty, we need to rev things up a bit. I told him that I’d probably wear four inch heels that are so high he’d have to carry me. He said something incomprehensible in Italian about this.
Alberto and I have a great love and respect for each other, but we are not getting married for love or respect. We are desperate and that’s that. We are doing this so we can both sleep at night knowing that we won’t be alone in the world.
Where will we live?, I asked. Anywhere but my town (in Italy) or your town (in the US), he said. Maybe we could go to Morocco (his idea) or Costa Rica (my idea)? We decided that we would live anywhere, but where we are now.
So that’s it folks, I may be having a big adventure in my future. Since I have known Alberto for twenty-five years I’m pretty sure that there won’t be too many surprises. We’re already clear that we can’t actually live together. We’ll just be married, not actually stay in the same house.
Here is a list of Alberto’s worst traits:
1. He’s really stubborn.
2. He’s really hard headed.
3. He’s obstinate.
4. He’s really stubborn. Oh I already said that.
Great thing is they happen to coincide with my worst traits which are:
- I’m really stubborn.
- I’m hard headed.
- I’m obstinate.
- I always know best.
That is why I know we are absolutely the best choice for each other. Or at least in this case, we’re possibly the only choice for each other. Well, like I said, at least we won’t end up alone. We’ve got that covered.
Let me know your vote – should Alberto and I marry or not?
By the way, if you are enjoying reading my stories, and would like to receive them in your email box, click here.
Raw & Real Stories: Letting Them Out of the Box
October 2, 2009
If you think it’s easy to tell your own stories raw & real, let me assure you that it’s not. There are many reasons why we don’t want to tell the truth. One is because people don’t really want to hear it. When you tell the truth, sometimes people can’t handle it, or they shut down, or go away, or judge you.
That hurts and it doesn’t make you want to open up and tell your story. But even though I’m personally aware that this is the risk in telling them, I feel compelled to do so anyway.
I feel compelled because underneath of my fear, I know that there is beauty and gold in these stories. They are nothing to be embarrassed of or ashamed about, though the world would have us believe that way.
While that is true and it’s logical that we shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed about our stories, the truth is that we often do. We feel embarrassed because they are our own personal stories, not someone elses. They are our very own personal Pandora’s box which must be opened to reveal the truth.
But why would you want to do this? We need to tell these stories because the rawest, most vulnerable stories hold the most life energy. By the way if you read the myth of Pandora, here is what you find out:
According to the myth, Pandora had been given a large jar and instruction by Zeus to keep it closed, but she had also been given the gift of curiosity and ultimately opened it. When she opened it, all of the evils, ills, diseases, and burdensome labor that mankind had not known previously, escaped from the jar, but it is said, that at the very bottom of her box, there lay hope.
Isn’t that amazing? Open the box to all the evils of the world and there at the bottom lies hope. This is why we must tell our stories, the stories we least want to tell. The mystics say that inside of everything of darkness, there are sparks of light just waiting to be released. Inside is Light that can be shared with the world.
Imagine what happens when we don’t tell these stories. What happens when we don’t have the courage to share that which has been most dark and painful to us? We are literally hiding the light. Light that could be made available to everyone.
So that means that if I want to share with the world, I must break through my own fear, trepidation and emabarrassment and dare to release the light that is inside of these stories. I must liberate the life force that is just waiting to be released into the world.
Thank God Pandora opened that box. What if she had listened to the voices of fear and kept it closed? Yes it unleashed all manner of evil into the world , but we obviously needed to learn how to deal with that. We need to unleash the power of story in our lives and dare to trust the Hope that wants to come out into the world.
Today dare to tell your story and be sure to listen for the stories of others. Make them feel comfortable to tell their real stories. You never know what Light you can bring into the world.
Yours in story, Annie
Dating Over Fifty, It’s A Jungle Out There
September 29, 2009
I don’t mean to scare you folks but if you’re single and over fifty - IT’S A JUNGLE OUT THERE!
I’m trying not to be paranoid about it. I’m just trying to be real. Dating is a pretty scary endeavor at this age, let’s face it. Somehow the rules have changed from when I was twenty five and no one let me know about it.
Dating at fifty feels more like buying a used car from one of those tacky car salesmen, than shopping at Tiffany’s. And though I’m not really sure what to do about it, whenever I’m in doubt about anything, I tell stories.
So here is another Raw & Real Story about the realities of dating when you’re over fifty. After reading this, you’ll either be really really happy that you’re already married or you’ll want to join a convent or the priesthood if you’re single.
Just kidding. Keep the hope folks. No matter what we must stay open to love, even if the pickin’s are very slim.
So I was having dinner the other night with my niece Devon, her boyfriend Mitchell and my former brother-in-law Jim. Jim was telling us stories about his adventures in dating or not-dating as the case may be. Jim is filing suit with his doctor for negligence in a medical case and he had to call the office to talk to the receptionist and it seems like somewhere along the way, she developed a big crush on him. 
When he finally met her in person, she happens to weigh over 300 pounds. Now I’m not trying to be a weightist here but that is well outside of the normal range. She also has several children who sound like derelicts and an ex-husband who is a former drug addict? I know it sounds like I’m being very judgemental here but I’m pretty sure you would have been thinking the exact same thing if you’d heard the story. To make matters worse, she texts him every day saying things like “Good morning, I hope you’re having a good day!”
Eeek! I wanted to say, “Run Jim run!” But then I got to thinking about my own experiences with dating and realized that mine haven’t been much better. So who am I to tell him what to do? Besides he can’t really cut off contact with her because he needs her to help him get his medical records. So what is a man to do but just receive those strange text messages and do the best with what life is sending his way? There’s no perfect situation after fifty. If he gets ready to marry her however, I will take a stand. My nieces are at stake at that point.
So what are we to do about this crazy world of dating over fifty? I don’t want to say that the pickins are slim, but they really are. Some might believe that anyone who is left unmarried at this point, has a very good reason for being single.
Part of me believes this and has actual evidence to prove it. But part of me doesn’t want to believe it because my own future is at stake. If I believe that the only cars available at this point are the used ones with damage that’s been painted over, then I’m probably not going very far down the road of life right? And if it really is true, then I might as well just head on over to the nunnery right now.
No I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to give in to fear or cynicism just because all the evidence is pointing in this direction. In fact I’m going to do exactly the opposite and line up some dates for myself right now. So here are my picks for this week. Let me know what you think. Don’t just base your choices on appearance though. Looks are deceiving and both of these men are obviously very charming and dashing. See if you can see deeper than that though. Then go ahead and vote.
Put your votes in now for my date of the week:
Will it be Date #1 the Wholesale Shoe Salesman?
Or Date #2 the Former Mr Italian Universe??
It’s a tough choice isn’t it?
But I’m going to leave the choosing up to you. You tell me who to date and why you picked him and I promise to give you the full story of our date raw and real.
Well let’s review our lessons:
- If you’re married, be grateful
- If you’re single, well….get ready.
I hope you’re enjoying the raw and real stories. This is the way life really is and since somebody ought to tell the truth, it might as well be me.
Yours in story,
Annie
Featured Video – The Best Dating Advice
September 29, 2009
Now this is the kind of dating advice that I love. Leave it to a Texas football coach to give us the kind of down home advice that we all need. Enjoy!
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