Featured Video: “Shave the World”
March 9, 2010
David Vanadia Presentation AIGA Shift Event. This is a fabulous storytelling presentation by one of my fellow storytellers, David Vanadia from Portland, Oregon. David you make storytelling shine!
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Risk Or Commit Yourself To a Dull Life!
March 8, 2010
This week I got an email from a most amazing gentleman who is “in the first month of his 90th year” and still going strong. He contacted me because I am starting to write a column for my local paper and he was quite an influential figure here in my town at one time.
When I read his CV, I was amazed. He did just about everything that one human being could do for a small town. He was even called the ‘mayor’ for awhile. I was very impressed, not just with his accomplishments, which were many, but even more so with his courage.
This man put himself in the fire over and over again and was called - a lightening rod for controversy. I love that. It means that he had the guts to go against the grain, which is something that we sorely need and is a necessity for change.
When he was telling me his stories, which were totally fascinating, I was amazed at all that he had done and how at age ninety, he is still going strong. Wow, I want to be like that when I grow up!
He told me stories about meeting Charles Lindberg at six years old and flying in his plane, getting into a prestigious business school without taking their tests and an amazing encounter with the Archbishop of Canterbury while traveling in Egypt. He went on and on and I could have listened to him for hours. He is a master storyteller among other things.
He never lost me for a moment, nor did he lose the central point of his conversation even though he took me all over the map. I could see why people had been both fascinated and terrified by him. He is a figure to reckon with. I loved him instantly. In fact if he still lived in our town, I would have invited myself over for tea, but he and his wife now live in Florida.
While we were speaking she was making faces in the background which I’m imagining were like, “You’re not going to keep telling her all of those stories are you dear?” But I told him to tell her that I was fascinated and wanted to hear everything.
The turning point of the conversation came when I told him that I had been considering giving up on writing my column. I had only published one piece when I began to get scared. I was afraid to be in the negative limelight, something that often happens in this town if you dare to speak up. I was wondering why I would want to do this.
What had compelled me to write the column in the first place is my desire to make a difference in the world, especially in this town and it’s been particularly hard to make a difference here. It took me almost 4 years to build enough connection and rapport to get this column started.
So when I told him this, that I was thinking of giving up because I was afraid of the negative limelight he said he said the most amazing thing.
He said, “Annie, it’s your decision and I will support you whatever you do. But if you decide not to do this then commit yourself to a dull life. If you go ahead, yes you will be put on the spot, a hot spot at times but it will be fascinating and challenging.”
WOW!
This blew me away. How could I turn back? If this man whose life and way of living is one I admire is telling me at age ninety that not to risk is to commit myself to a dull life - how could I possibly say no?
If you decide not to risk, then commit yourself to a dull life.
Wow. That turned my world on its head. It has made me think about everything differently.
If you can look back on your life from the vantage point of age ninety and still see that all the pain, the heat, the fire and the risks were worth it - then there is no choice at all to make.
The choice is always to risk.
Today take some risks in unexpected directions. You DON’T want a full life do you?!
Thanks to my new mentor and life guide for this story!
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Video: Chocolate is a Vegetable
March 7, 2010
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Problems Are Like A Box
March 2, 2010
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Rumors Are Stories That Stick
March 1, 2010
Great News - I’ve started writing a column for my local newspaper, the Chestnut Hill Local. It is a wonderful paper that even my mother reads every week from Oklahoma! My column will be called, “An Inspiring Change of Altitude,” and will be about inspiring shifts in thinking that are possible for a small but feisty town! This is my second column. Let me know what you think. It’s called:
RUMORS ARE STORIES THAT STICK
Rumor, definition: a statement or claim of questionable accuracy from no known reliable source, usually spread by word of mouth, an unverified account or explanation of events circulating from person to person.
Stories are very popular right now especially in the area of marketing and branding. I’m not exactly sure why since they’ve been around for thousands of years but suddenly everyone is talking about them. Rumors are stories that stick. What does this mean for our everyday lives?
Well if you think about it, a rumor is a story that you tell over and over again, whether you know it is true or not. What a powerful thing. What’s disconcerting though is that since rumors have such a powerful emotional energy, they tend to stick. Why is that?
Think about it this way - did you ever watch a soap opera or a tele-drama? When I was in college, a girlfriend lent me her TV while she was away for the summer. She lent it to me on one condition - that I watch Dallas for her and keep her up to date on the story. 
I hated Dallas but I did it just for her. The funny thing is that by the time she came back to claim her TV, I had gotten hooked on the show and I didn’t want to let her have it back! Those larger than life characters like JR Ewing and Sue Ellen, made those stories stick in my mind.
Don’t we have at least a few ‘characters’ like that here in our lives? People that we’ve only heard about but never actually met? People that we are so curious to know about them that we just can’t help but cling to and share every little bit of story (i.e rumor) that we hear? It’s no different than watching TV is it? Don’t you hear people all the time talking about television characters as if they are real? “Oh did you hear what so and so did on such and such a show?” It’s very common.
Rumors are stories that stick because they are have real life emotion in them. They are interesting and satisfy that curiosity seeking part of our mind. We can’t help ourselves. We love a good story, especially mini dramas - whether they are in real life or on TV.
So that said - what do we do with the negative power that stories and rumors have on our lives? Think about it - whether we know it or not, our human lives are all intertwined, as if we are all in the same boat. Let’s literally imagine that we are in one giant canoe traveling down the river together. It’s like that in the sense that our personal and economic well-being is all linked together right?
So here we are in the same boat and there is a big JR Ewing type in the back. Those of us who are in the front just can’t help ourselves. We start out with just tiny twitters, “Oh did you see who’s in the back?” Then it gets a little louder - “Did you know that he just bought a gigantic new property?”
Now we can’t stop ourselves - “What do you think he’s going to do with it?” which really means - how is what he’s doing going to affect us here in the front of the boat.
The answer is yes it will affect us. We are all affected by each other in ways that are obvious or not so-obvious. Take JR for example. How do you think he’s going to feel if he hears us talking about him, which inevitably he will? We think we’re not doing harm right? We’re just curious or we tell ourselves that we are looking for information and wanting to understand. All true.
But now put yourself in the back of the boat, be JR for a moment and consider just how it feels to be talked about in whispers. Not good right? For good or for bad - rumors are stories that are told about us.
We’re not involved in the communication and are hearing it from the outside, thus we have no direct participation. That’s the part that makes a rumor deadly. When we feel cut off from other people, we feel like we’re unfairly picked on even when the rumor is not meant to hurt.
Even when we are curious or just seeking more information - telling stories about other people when they are not directly involved, does harm.
But here’s the cool thing and the point of change - we can just as easily spread “appreciative stories” - i.e. rumors that highlight a person’s greatness, not their weakness. The more we do this the more we grow together. Imagine what happens when we start circulating positive, inspiring stories about everyone in the boat.
Imagine just how much faster we are able to row to the shore through uplifting feedback rather than rumor.
Now I am NOT saying that we should never be honest or be real about things. We need to tell the truth but these things are not mutually exclusive. And appreciative feedback is not just some nice thing relegated only to those ‘touchy feeling’ types.
Believe it or not, positive feedback it is the single biggest thing that makes a difference in terms of human motivation. That is what every great leader knows about making great people - to create greatness you first have to look for the greatness in others, then point it out to them since they often don’t see it themselves and finally pass it on and share it with others.
This is called a ‘positive feedback loop‘. Yes there’s actually a name for it! And it generates much more than the original story and lasts long after the story is done being told.
We are all in the same boat, heading to the same shore. If we start today spreading stories of inspiration and goodness about each other, just imagine how quickly it can generate new energy. We can do this.
Each of us can start today by sharing new stories. We can also commit to being the of the end line for spreading stories don’t contribute to our well-being or success. We’re all in this together.
Thanks for listening and please feel free to share….
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The Storyteller Tells Her Stories
February 20, 2010
It’s time to take a leap. Every now and then in your life, more often then I’d like, it’s time to take a deeper plunge, a bigger risk and really go for the gold. So I am going to be writing and telling my own very personal and sometimes painful stories for the very first time.
Whew! Breathe.
It’s not easy! I make it look and seem easy for other people, that’s my gift. But damn it is really hard to do for myself. Luckily I have found just the right team as it honestly takes a team to pull these stories out of me. They don’t want to come out on their own.
These stories are like little long-fingered underwater creatures who are gripping onto the rocks so they don’t have to let go. Eeeeeek!
Why is it so scary to tell personal stories? Very personal stories.
Gosh, I could give you a long list of the reasons that it’s so scary. It seems silly to say but it actually feels life threatening to a part of us. Telling our stories is a way out of the box that we have lived in. We are bound by the emotions, the memories and the meanings of our past stories and thus like the famous Pandora’s box, we must liberate them.
Fortunately as I said, I have just the right team - I have my wonderful reliable weekly writing buddy whom I meet weekly at the local Barnes and Noble coffee shop so we can write together. We’ve been doing this for some months now.
In case you’d want to know my reason for meeting there - it’s because they have sunshine streaming in the windows (I need to feel warm), great Earl Grey tea (I need to have good tea) and a bag of delicious potato chips doesn’t hurt.
Basically it’s a good way to bribe myself to keep on going doing something that is hard!
Then I have my fabulous listening buddy who is helping me tell the stories orally. Written stories and orally told stories are two very different animals and so I know from my own story guiding of others, that the deeper, more painful and often more powerful stories need to be ‘listened out of you.’
My story Maestro listens to me very carefully. He is impeccable in his listening, which is what I really need. He does not trod on my heart nor make those kinds of comments afterwards that make you wish you’d never told your story. He wears a white velvet glove of purity that makes the telling easy.
To be impeccable in your listening you have to be out of your out of your own way - be really silent and really present.
But here is the best part of all. He also makes me laugh while I’m crying! Yesterday was a perfect example.
Yesterday as I was telling a difficult story (and blowing my nose through the telling), I suddenly heard an indescribable noise, a kind of ‘crkkkkrrrrrr‘ sound. Hmm, what was that???
He didn’t say anything about it and I heard him make an ‘uh huh‘ sound like he was listening, so I just carried on.
A minute later I couldn’t hear him, so I asked, “Are you there Chief?” (that’s one of my nicknames for him). Then there was the sound of scramble, scramble, scramble and then he says, “Yes I’m here. I just kicked the microphone over.” Perfect timing!
It was perfect timing. I started laughing so loudly that my crying and snorting turned into guffawing. It was a priceless moment.
Perfect for the storyteller to be paused mid-sob for a moment of sheer humor. My impeccable listener, who was working so hard to be there for me knocked over his microphone and was trying to retrieve it without interrupting.
I am still laughing just picturing him trying to rebound without disrupting my story. What a riot!
These are the precious moments of storytelling. In that moment I realized that it’s not just the telling of the story that is important, but every thing beautiful that surrounds it - the bonding that happens between two humans as they listen and share and the moments of pure delight when real life magic happens and humor appears out of nowhere.
This is the true magic of storytelling.
I am pr
oud, honored, scared and delighted to be telling my own raw and real stories. The deep ones, the raw ones, the ones that matter. If I can’t lead the way on then I’m not worth my metal.
Gotta leap, gotta take a dive.
Thanks to all my partners for supporting me. It takes a community to tell a story. I’d still be on the ledge without you. Thanks as well to all of my blog readers for caring about stories and storytelling. You make all the difference.
Stay tuned for more of the raw and real, the places we dive deep together and make life more fulfilling from taking risks.
Yours in diving into the heart of the matter and laughing about it all the way,
Annie
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The Transformative Power of Stories for Children
February 17, 2010
Annie: This is a beautiful story sent to me by Mike Blackstone a friend, colleague and blog reader of mine. He told some stories to his children with truly magical results. This really invites us to realize the transformative power of story. Thanks for sharing Mike. It really opened my heart.
Mike: A month ago I was invited to a lecture that was to take place last Sunday afternoon. I had completely forgotten about this lecture until it popped back into my mind 25 minutes before it was to begin. Interestingly, I had spent some quality time with my two little boys that morning, had all my “chores” done, so I told my wife Maureen I was going.
When I got to the lecture, I found out the speaker was an “ageless wisdom” guy which I don’t know much about. His theme was “Unfolding the Soul’s Purpose,” and among many things, he talked a little about reincarnation and astrology. I enjoyed it.
When I got home, I did a little research on the internet about him and about some of his subjects. I came across one little tidbit in an online astrology chart about focusing on “raising one’s children well,” and that struck a little heart chord. Hmm, could be a bit of a life purpose in there?
A couple of hours later I had this impulse and decided to tell my 6 year-old a story, and base it on the concept that we had lived other lives together. I completely improvised it. Here is the gist:
We were young brothers (Native Americans) in the 1800s. Out on an exploratory adventure, we were attacked by a mountain lion. It took all of our wits (mostly his) to both come out of it alive. Later we were attacked by a she-bear when we accidentally stumbled upon her cubs. Again our wits, mostly his, saved the day.
Several times during the story he said, with his head cocked to one side and his eyes narrowed, “Dad, you’re making this up, aren’t you?” Of course I denied it saying that that’s what I “remember.” But each time he asked me to keep telling the story.
About an hour later, my 9 year-old, Elliot, comes into my office and asks, very intently, “What did you tell Euan?” I said, “Why are you asking?” He replied, “Well, Euan said you TOLD him something!” “Do you want me to tell you something, too?” “Yes.” So I told Elliot a story, completely improvised, that went like this.
We were neighbor kids in the tenements of New York City in the late 1920s—best buddies who lived about a block apart. One day we were hanging out in the neighborhood, but I was about a block away around the corner with a couple of the guys. I heard loud voices and we came around the corner to see what was going on.
“I saw you (Elliot) surrounded by four rough guys from another neighborhood, and one started threatening you that they were going to beat you up. That kid turned, looked at his buddies to smile, and as he turned his head back, your fist lashed out, caught him square in the nose and knocked him clean onto his back.
There was blood everywhere. The other three were about to set on you but saw me and the other guys, grabbed their fallen comrade and beat a hasty retreat. They never came back.”
When I was done, Elliot floored me by saying, “Thanks, Dad, for telling me that story. And you know the part I liked the best? I didn’t need you to save me.”
I was dumbfounded in some wonderful way. The next morning, as I was taking them to school, Elliot said, “Thanks again for telling me that story, Dad, I really liked it.” And I wondered again what that was all about. He had never thanked me before for telling a story.
A few nights later I was tucking the boys in bed, I told Euan another story where we were both bridge builders, but he was a bridge designer. Right at that moment he nodded his head deeply in some sort of agreement, and he saved my life on a bridge-building site during an earthquake. Remember, he was the skeptic.
This time HE thanked me for telling him that story.
When he nodded his head it was pretty funny because he’s lately been into wearing a blindfold to bed—the kind you get on an airplane. So, I’m right by his face, softly telling him the story, he’s wearing his blindfold, and he starts to nod in agreement when I get to the “bridge designer” part. It melted my heart.
There have been a few more stories since, and, with how much they seem to love them, there WILL be many more.
I am still digesting all this, but I find it amazing. A couple of clues I’m looking at—Euan (6yrs) loves to build things and is a Lego maniac. Elliot (9 yrs) loves everything about the WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) and is determined to make his living as a pro wrestler.
Annie: Don’t you love this story? Sweet, simple ways to make a difference in the minds of children. Thanks Mike for sharing the transformative power of story.
Yours in always sharing the stories that matter,
Annie
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Stories From the Next World: Swimming Against the Tide
February 15, 2010
I must be doing it all wrong. Everyone else is doing it one way and I am doing it the total opposite. I must be a total failure. That’s what I told myself for many years in the area of marketing my business.
Recently I had a conversation with a colleague who is great at marketing, in fact he has a background in corporate sales. He and I have similar training in NLP and Hypnosis and some years ago he went out on his own and created his own business. He’s doing fine but he’s not really thriving. His struggle is to get repeated clients.
But if you ask me (and no one did!), that’s not the real issue. The real issue is that in all he’s doing he is missing a certain level of fulfillment. We all get into the ‘people business’ because we want to help people. Then we are given the dreaded mandate that we need to market ourselves. Eeek! Every creative caring person hates this part.
We didn’t get into business to be in business, we just happened to pick something which required it.
The irony is that even though he is the one with the marketing background and knows all the right ways to do things, I am in fact the one that is thriving. Better than that though is that I am very fulfilled in what I do. The money that keeps me afloat is wonderful but more vital than that is the happiness that I have.
I have nearly total fulfillment in my work. That is the biggest value that my business provides me. I love my clients, love what I do and am working with amazing people from all over the world. How the hell did that happen? Me who didn’t have a clue about marketing myself and never wanted to do it either.
I have been swimming against the tide.
When the experts told me to:
- Have a clear marketing and business plan - I couldn’t.
- Create an exact target market of who I am selling my services to - Uh no, couldn’t do that either. Isn’t it the whole world?
- Get out and network myself with schmaltzy print materials and business cards - Nope, hated that. I went to Starbucks instead.
- Create a one line description of what I do that would totally grab people’s attention in under 10 seconds - Call me old-fashioned but I stuck with regular old human conversation.
- Package my work in a formulaic way that I could sell to businesses - I’d rather have Chinese water torture than do this.
- yada
- yada
- yada
- yada
- yada
Anyway you get the idea. I did it all wrong. I did absolutely everything backwards from what the experts said I should do and much to my surprise - it worked!
Who are these experts anyway? Hmm, good question! Well they are might be people who have tried to find a kind of generic formula so that everyone can win the game. Not a bad idea by any means, many people do succeed this way.
But are they happy? The big question is - can we make money and have personal fulfillment too? The answer is - we must. This is just one of the values of the future - a “we can have it all” paradigm.
In the series that I am writing called, Stories From the Next World, I will be talking about the values of the next world - those values, traits and characteristics of greatness and bravery, that if we embody them now, we will be ahead of our time.
So trait number one is this - swim, swim, swim against the tide little fishes. If the experts tell you to X, Y, Z but you feel in your gut to Q, S and LL then you must. You need to have the courage to swim against the current of the world that says that there is a right way and a wrong way to do things.
Swimming upstream is definitely hazardous. You have to be able to tolerate feeling alone, thinking you’re a failure, have people point out what you’re certainly doing wrong and feeling utterly confused.
But for me I just did it from instinct because I could never tolerate having business ’success’ at the expense of my personal freedom or fulfillment. No go Joe! At the end of the day, I want to be happy AND peaceful.
The world of the future will not be a world of either or - either I am rich or I am happy. The value of the next world is that it has to be both!
Stay tuned for more in the series of Stories From the Next World and please tune in to my weekly Radio 42 Show where I’ll be sharing more of these stories and secrets of the Universe as well. You wouldn’t want to miss those!
Yours in swimming against the tide that was going in the wrong direction anyway,
Annie
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Everything Happens in Starbucks
February 4, 2010
I don’t mean to eavesdrop but I love people and being engaged in life, so I can’t help myself. I tend to to listen in when I hear juicy bits of conversation, as I did this morning at my local Starbucks and boy was I glad I did!
I met two of the most wonderful ladies - women that are icons of a bygone era and role models of another way of living that we are dearly missing in this modern hectic world.
I tuned in be
cause I overheard one of them talking about trying to text on her cell phone. She was telling her friend that she needed to look in the manual to figure out how to do it.
I chuckled to myself because I could totally relate. When I bought my ‘little phone’ - aka cell phone, I had to beg a male friend of mine to meet me for coffee just so he could show me how to use it!
We are folks of another generation, one in which gadgets of this kind were not automatically attached to our ears at birth. As I turned to look at them, I chuckled and they might have thought I was laughing at them but I wasn’t. They said, “We’re not so good at this stuff.”
I told them that I hadn’t been good at ‘that stuff’ either and that we of another generation are all of a similar predicament. We come from the days before there were even answering machines. So we are all bewildered by this new technology.
We got to chatting and they were just delightful. I told them my story of being a former-technophobe (which I wrote about some months ago), until I took a course called, “Become A Blogging Maniac” with my wonderful mentor Bea Fields. That is how I advanced my business and propelled myself into the 21st century at the same time.
They were interested to know how it worked for me. I was excited to tell them that I’ve had over 5,000 visitors on my blog in under a year. I get nearly 900 visitors a month! Isn’t that amazing? And the best part is that it’s all from the comfort and enjoyment of my own home (or a local Starbucks) instead of trekking God knows where to drum up business.
They were intrigued and wanted to know more about how it works. I told them about Facebook and Twitter thinking they wouldn’t know what the heck they were, but I found out quickly that these are not your average golden-aged ladies. They are women with a great sense of adventure. One of them uses them both and so I got right on Facebook and made her my new friend! Love it.
They told me that in their era they were never encouraged to believe that they could do anything. One of them said, “We were told we would be taken care of.” Wow that really hit home.
They told me stories of ironing their napkins and polishing their silver and I felt this deep longing for the elegance and thoughtfulness of another time. Hearing their stories, I fell in love with them both instantly. They are truly gems of another day gone by.
This made me realized that I need to capture their stories. We need stories like these to remind us of the elegance of living. Right then and there I decided that I am going to film them and share their stories.
Aren’t you eager to hear what they have to say?
So stay tuned for the wonderful stories of the two beautiful ladies of another generation that I met in Starbucks!
Everything happens in Starbucks folks. If you’re willing to eavesdrop just a little, you can meet the most wonderful people. Today go have a Starbucks on me. Eavesdrop on some neighbors and see what magic might happen right in your local coffee shop.
Yours in sharing the stories that make life rich and meaningful,
Annie
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Featured Video - Life is Like a Cup of Coffee
January 25, 2010
Simple and wonderful message.
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